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“The bondings are everything, so I’m very glad that you don’t regret those,”he says, kissing my cheek.“But for now, let’s just rest. We don’t need to worry about anything other than us.”
“How did you do it?” Ryes demands, and I tune back into the conversation around me. “Did you beat him to death? Strangulation? Suffocation? Stone him and give him a cool mediaeval death?”
“Fucking hell, you’re a psycho,” Zohar mutters, shaking his head in disgust, causing his hair to bounce around. His lips curl up, a grimace on his face, and I know my air witch’s interest in this is making him queasy.
I scoot over and pat the space next to me so that Zohar can sit with us. His sensitive soul can’t handle murder, and I really don’t want him throwing up.
“Fucking hell,” Zohar groans as everyone—Eirik and Necos included—bursts into laughter. “Dragonfly, you’re going to make me lose all of my street cred.”
“Shit, princess, you’re amazing,” Etrix says, his laughter deep and contagious.
“As if he has any street cred,” Ryes says, causing Mael to laugh even harder.
“I am so lost,” I say, confused.
“You were the one about to throw up last night,” Zohar points out, the whine in his voice causing more laughter from the others.
I groan, resting my head on Ciar’s shoulder, not wanting to think about the scene I’ve barely managed to erase from my brain. Ciar starts massaging my head with one of his hands, the other making smoke tornados appear as a warning to anyone else who upsets me.
“How am I being insulting?” I ask, looking at Zohar in confusion. “You were the one to bring up the brain matter.”
“Your thoughts are a lot clearer now that we’ve moved further in our bond,” Ciar tells me. “So they’re all spying on you, and loving what they’re hearing. You thought about Zohar being a weak little—”
“Enough,” Eirik says sharply, and they all sigh but drop the argument. Unfortunately, for me, since Eirik then turns the conversation back to last night. “Can we go back to the murders that you committed?”
I nod solemnly, knowing that this is something I can’t hide from. I can’t believe I was joking around instead of focusing on the fact that I killed people last night.That we all killed people last night.
“Why did you say that you didn’t kill anyone accidentally? I can’t imagine you doing it on purpose,” Necos says.
“Um, because as awful as it sounds… the people I killed deserved it,” I say, looking at Mael for support. I don’t know how to explain it, but he was with me so he should be able to put it into focus for them.
He has to understand why I did what I did.
“I’m never going to judge you for getting your hands dirty, Ellie, but I don’t understand why you’re looking to me for help. I just stood there looking fierce for the most part. You did all the work and made the decisions, baby.”
“Well, didn’t you see the difference?” I ask, confused. He shakes his head, pinching his lips in an apologetic grimace and I frown. “Did none of you see?”
Ciar, Zohar, Etrix, and Ryes were with me for a little bit, and during more than one of the attacks. All four of them are just as lost, and I’m starting to panic.
Is this something I created in my head? Am I trying to justify the murders of men that didn’t deserve it?
Did I make another thing up?
“See what?” Necos asks, softly. He edges forward on his armchair and gives me a very patient look, one I don’t think that I deserve. “I believe you, Elzora, but it would help if you elaborated so that we’re all on the same page.”
“They were dirty,” I say with a small frown as I try to word this in a way they’ll understand. I try to be as graphic as possible to help them. “Their insides, I mean. They were twisted. And even though they weren’t all dark witches, they were surrounded by blackness.”
“Their souls,” Zohar says, and I turn to him in surprise. I don’t know why, though. I’m literally a soul witch. It’s what makes the most sense. “Dragonfly, what I think you saw was their souls.”
“You saw their core,” Eirik says, nodding in approval. “Like Zohar said, their soul.”
“They wanted to harm you?” Necos asks. “Is that why you didn’t feel guilty about killing them?”
“No, they didn’t seem to want to harm me. Or at least not directly.”
“They wanted to harm me,” Etrix says, and I nod as another round of tears escapes. I hate how weak I’m being, but nobody seems to care that I can’t handle it. “Fucking prick. Bet he thought if he offed me during all of that, then he could ensure he’d get away with it.”
“I did kill one man who wasn’t in that guard get up,” I say, causing Etrix and Necos to look at me in shock. “You know, on top of the man in the vault.”
