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After dinner, withno television for entertainment, Cara was doing what she could to engage great uncle Frederick while Alec took the dogs out.
When he returned he paused in the doorway to watch her with his uncle. She was sitting close, having pulled her chair near his, and listening to him talk. She was listening closely, too, and nodding, her expression warm and open. Alec didn’t know what his uncle said, but Cara suddenly put her hand on Uncle Frederick’s and left it there.
It struck Alec that it was really good for Uncle Frederick to have her just be there with him and listen. Frederick’s wife had died in childbirth and he’d never remarried, and although he’d been a good uncle to William and Emma, he had no oneat home, no one to listen, or to learn from him. Alec could tell that Cara wasn’t bored, either. She was engrossed, and from her expression, listening with her whole heart.
He was glad for his uncle, glad that Cara was good with people, because Alec wasn’t. To be fair, he’d never tried to be. He knew what he had to do, and he did those things. His purpose was to provide financially, to ensure the future of the Sherbournes, but nurture? It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be kind, but he wasn’t sure how to do, or be, the kind of man who gave that way. His father was as aloof and detached as a human could be. Uncle Frederick was kind, but he’d never been excessively affectionate.
Watching Cara now, her warmth and generous spirit moved him. Thank goodness the world wasn’t made up of people only like him. Alec got things done, but there was almost always a price. Relationships were the first thing usually sacrificed.
His Madeleine, as wonderful as she was, wasn’t a people person, either. She was brilliant and successful, a leader in finance, and it was one reason they hadn’t started a family yet, they were both committed to their careers, working to get ahead, and cement their place in their respective industries. They understood each other’s work, too, and after long days they’d have a late dinner, and discuss where the London Stock Exchange closed. They’d mention issues and clients and economic concerns. They weren’t just husband and wife. They were each other’s best friend, sounding board, and confidant.
Like him, Madeleine loved money and numbers, the UK and global markets. They could talk to each other for hours about the future, but it was never about people, or creating a family, even though they knew there would be children. In hindsight, he realized that Madeliene might have been a little too much like Alec’s father—brilliant but a little cool. He couldn’t imagine her eyes ever welling with sympathetic tears, or her droppingeverything to just sit and listen to someone. Madeleine’s time was incredibly valuable. She was excellent at prioritizing situations, and people, and now he wondered, if they had had children, would the children have been a priority?
Alec exhaled, uncomfortable with the thoughts, not wanting to be disloyal, because he would never know how he and Madeleine would have been as parents. It didn’t happen. She’d been gone a long time. He shouldn’t feel guilty for being drawn to Cara, because he did find her attractive, appealing.
He’d been trying to ignore the attraction but it was getting harder and harder to not feel, and not desire.
Maybe he was feeling sentimental due to the holidays, or maybe it was the snow falling again outside, creating a cocoon within Langley, adding an extra layer of softness, of magic, to soften tension, ease frustration. Just looking at Cara now made his chest tighten, a bittersweet pleasure surging through him, making him ache in the strangest way.
He didn’t know what it was about Cara that upended him, but she was so different, and original, that she made everything seem new, including Christmas at Langley Park.
Cara suddenly looked up and glanced at him, her gaze briefly meeting his, and the corner of her mouth lifted, and light filled her eyes, warmth and humor, a hint of mischief, as if they were sharing a moment.
Maybe they were.
He smiled back.
An hour later, having settled into a chair with a book, Alec heard a burst of laughter and looked up and saw that a card table had been set up at the opposite end of the room, and Cara, Uncle Frederick, and the aunts were sitting around it, not far from the Green Salon’s tall shimmering tree. He didn’t know what card game they were playing but there was more laughter, as wellas some indignant protests, that the cards clearly hadn’t been shuffled well.
He couldn’t believe he’d been so engrossed in his story that he hadn’t heard the table being set up or chairs brought in. It was a big room and he was sitting by the fire, the fire crackling rather loudly, but still. He rarely relaxed like this, and he couldn’t remember when he’d been that lost in a story. It felt good to read, and wonderful to look up and see Cara and his family laughing and teasing each other. They were playing a spirited game, and with the Christmas lights and Cara’s bright smile he thought that this great drawing room felt almost cozy tonight. He watched them a little longer, amused as Emma swept the pile of cards up with a most unladylike cackle of glee, and went back to reading.
He was once again lost in the story, and it took a tap on his shoulder by Cara, to realize everyone was on their way to bed. Alec bent the corner of a page—he knew he shouldn’t but he didn’t have a bookmark—and closed the book, setting it on the table next to his chair.
Rising, he kissed the aunts’ cheeks, a good night that made Dorothy turn pink, and while Cara turned off the lights in the room, he walked his uncle Frederick to his bedroom. After seeing his uncle settled, Alec took the dogs out for a last walk before bed.
Fifteen minutes later, Alec and the dogs returned to the house. Most of the lights were off, and it seemed that everyone had gone to bed. He locked the doors and seeing a light on in the kitchen he entered and found Cara sitting on a kitchen stool eating one of the ginger biscuits made that day.
“I thought you’d gone to bed,” he said.
“I tried but then I started thinking about dinner for tomorrow night and came back down to have a look in thefreezer, and then I realized I didn’t know where the turkey is, and if it’s still frozen, we’re in trouble.”
“It’s not frozen. It’s in white paper wrapping, in a second refrigerator downstairs, adjacent to the butler’s pantry.”
“Ah, wonderful.” Relief rushed through her. “It was one thing for me to say I could cook a turkey, and another to deliver on the promise if there was no turkey.”
“Whose idea was it to use the Green Salon tonight?” he asked.
“Mine. Was that okay?”
“Yes. I was just surprised. It was one of my grandmother’s favorite rooms. The silk on the walls had to be replaced after the war, and she picked the green silk out, saying it would be beautiful in the winter or the spring.”
“Can you believe tomorrow is Christmas Eve?” she said. “Time is flying by.”
“I wouldn’t exactly say flying, but things are better than I expected. Thanks to you.”
She shook her head. “It’s easy. Everyone is wonderful.”
