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I sort of preferred the idea of texting Rhys compared to whatever crap my brother and mom were stirring. Ignoring all of it, I guzzled my coffee and took the cup reserved for our dad and approached the counter where mom had already started piling together the ingredients for biscotti.
Sadie locked our bedroom door once service returned to her phone, and she’d fallen asleep, giving me plenty of time with mom and Benji to try not to spoil Sadie’s secret. Mom mentioned Caleb at least thirteen times but, with dinner approaching, we’d switched to wine so I could ignore most of her attempts at praising my ex while Benji did his sibling duty and tried to distract our mom.
Benji and I finished preparing dinner, an arduous task under the scrutinizing movements of our mom. When she set the table and woke Sadie, my brother carried two bottles of wine into the dining room. He sat at our dad’s usual spot, our mom on his left and Sadie next to her, with me on Benji’s right. Normally, Caleb would’ve been next to me, but the emptiness felt comforting after the chaotic weekend and time with my family.
Once Benji filled his glass and our mom’s, he passed the wine to me and began his toast, but Sadie greedily took his glass without thinking and started the rest of our family meal off with an explosion.
Benji snapped, “Sadie! What the hell?”
“There’s no cursing at this table,” mom snarled at Benji. While she prayed it would take away my brother’s actions, Sadie spat the wine back into her glass. Her brown eyes darted to mine, which I quickly closed as tight as I could. Flashes of color burst behind my eyelids, and I enjoyed the show from back there as we all prepared for the rest of Christmas to be ruined.
“Mia!” Sadie shouted.
“I’m not here,” I replied, eyes still closed. If I squeezed hard enough, I could pretend I was in the Bahamas with a blended cocktail and not about to lose my mother from a heart attack.
The sound of her pasta spoons slamming onto the table, the splash of sauce against my face, and Sadie’s shriek all took me from my brief vacation. Slowly opening one eye, everyone stared at me except Benji, who held his face in his hands. Listening to our mom mutter another prayer, I took a deep breath and reached for more wine.
“Why are you looking at me,” I questioned between sips. “Is there more wine?”
Mom stood up, pointing her finger around the table at the three of us. “What are you three up to? If this is some twisted attempt to rui—”
“Four,” Benji muttered under his breath. Sadie flicked another glob of sauce toward me, the warm liquid sliding down my cheek and landing on mom’s lace tablecloth. I turned to look at her, cautiously placing my wine glass down so I wouldn’t throw it back at her.
“You’re really going to fly back after Christmas and keep this a secret from her forever?” I pressed, wiping the sauce from my cheek and blotting it from the tablecloth. “And, honestly, Sadie, grow up.”
“Benjamin Anthony Valentino!” It relieved me when mom used his full name and not just mine, feeling better about Benji and I being in this together. Having an ally felt strangely better. “What in the world are you talking about?” She said nothing about her youngest throwing sauce around the room like she was six, or that her lace tablecloth was stained with tomatoes, but it seemed to matter more that Benjamin Anthony and Mia Isabella Sofia Valentino were calmly drinking our wine.
Sadie stood up from the table, her arms tightly crossed as she paced and huffed like an anxious animal. Trying to imagine the high waistband of her leggings soon expanding with a baby, I felt envious of my little sister and I think that’s why I cared more, why I felt it was a problem. I’d tried to get pregnant, and she wanted to hide her pregnancy from anyone on this side of the Atlantic while drinking wine and eating bacon.
“I…” We all stared at Sadie when she finally spoke, albeit just stammered sounds. “I-I’m in love.”
“Oh, Sadie Maria Nicoletta!” While Benji and I had our full names used in vain, Sadie’s sang with bliss and exuberance. Our mother clutched her heart and stood to meet Sadie, leaping across the floor to hug her. Benji rolled his eyes and motioned for me to pour him more wine, which I did after refilling my glass.
“Mama,” Sadie whimpered into our mom’s shoulder, “we’re getting married.”
“Because…” I prompted, getting Benji’s laugh in response.
“We’re in love,” Sadie announced, defending herself. Our mom cooed and awed, petting Sadie’s hair and kissing her like she was a newborn.
“Just the two of you?” Benji added, moving the sauce spoons from Sadie’s reach. I noticed mom’s eyebrows furrow, and almost assumed she’d faint, but she let go of Sadie and crossed her arms instead.
“Please, lord, don’t tell me you’re in some sort of,” she grimaced, “relationship with multiple,” mom could barely breathe, “people.”
“Well,” Sadie paused, looking to Benji and I for aid, neither of us giving in, “no.”
“For God’s sake,” I groaned, hearing mom shout at me for my words while I continued talking over her, “Sadie! Tell mom you’re pregnant and you’re getting married to some famous English guy who you’ve known for one year, who you call Matty, who has a questionable brother, and I flew out to bring you home because you couldn’t handle the news yourself.”
“I feel like I should go call Amelia,” Benji murmured, slipping out of the situation and tiptoeing backward from his chair. Our mom snapped her face toward him too quickly that Benji actually cowered, biting his lip and returning to the table.
“You two knew about this? Both of you? And nobody thought to tell me?”
“Whoa!” Benji lifted his hands defensively. “This isn’t something Mia and I are responsible for, mom.”
Responsibilitywas mentioned in the book mom got me, the thought of which took me out of the moment and left me chuckling at the table. To them, I must’ve looked like I lost my marbles, but I really didn’t mean to be rude. It was just that mom’s book had a method of making me laugh and it was in the uncomfortable moment when our mom found out Sadie was pregnant and getting married to some foreigner she’d never met.
“Mia,” mom yelled at me, “how could you do this?”
“I did nothing wrong. I love myself. That’s what you want me to do, mom. It’s in that amazing book you gave me. I’m learning to love myself, and I guess part of that is being honest. It’s in chapter four. I think.”
