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The air in that room was thicker than mom’s tiramisu, which I assumed none of us were getting after our ridiculous display. Glancing over to Benji’s chair, I wondered how our dad would’ve reacted, and I reached for another glass of wine while my mom and sister both cried.
While our mom placed some blame on me for Sadie’s predicaments, I wasn’t the focus of attention anymore, so I quietly cleared some plates and escaped the dining room. Soon enough, I cocooned myself in a quilt outside on the back patio as snow blanketed the yard. Each flake did its part to soften the soundtrack of outside, while I could hear Sadie and mom continuing to yell and sob inside.
Benji was cleaning the kitchen, the glow of the light shining out from my periphery. I’m not sure what caused me to check my phone, maybe secretly hoping it would display time of a few hours ago to make this all a nightmare, but I swiped and Rhys’s messages flashed across the screen. Hearing glass shatter inside, I wondered if I should tell Rhys what happened.
Me: I spilled the secret at Christmas dinner tonight. Tell your brother Sadie’s probably coming back sooner than expected.
dontanswerthisguyisadick: Marvelous. Tell me what happened.
Me: No.
dontanswerthisguyisadick: I’ll buy you a drink.
My phone buzzed and chimed with an alert bursting onto the screen that Rhys Bennett sent $100.00.
Me: You’re ridiculous.
dontanswerthisguyisadick: Now tell me what happened. It’s 3 in the morning and I need a proper story to fall asleep.
I debated whether I should spend that $100 stocking my wine cabinet tomorrow morning, or return it once I figured out how to use the apps Sadie downloaded. First, I replied to Rhys Bennett and his $100 demand.
Me: I may have called you questionable, and I’m certain I was correct in doing so.
dontanswerthisguyisadick: You have questions? Ask me anything. I’ll answer honestly.
I had questions, and most of them were about his brother and how he planned to support my sister and their child, but drained from the weekend and unsure of where to begin, I didn’t reply. Holding my phone under the blanket, I listened to my mom and sister in the house. Some Christmas. Being alone outside felt strangely liberating. And when my phone buzzed again, I didn’t feel so lonely.
dontanswerthisguyisadick: I suppose I’ll have to prove myself to you sometime then, Mia. Merry Christmas.
Our mom woke me up with a steaming cup of coffee, the sun spreading along the white ground to blind me. My nose was cold, but I slept fine when accidentally zonking out on the porch. She said nothing at first, but I knew the coffee was her peace offering, or at least a reminder that she might not hate me as much as she did during dinner.
“I’m going to mass,” she murmured, sipping from her mug. “I’m going to light a candle for your father, your sister, and my grandchild.”
“I’m sorry, mom,” I offered, turning to her. Her reddened eyes were puffy, but she smiled through it all and let out a sigh.
“Come for dinner in a few days and we can talk about it,” she suggested. “This is all just too much right now.”
“Is Sadie staying?”
Mom nodded as she stood, approaching the railing on the porch and staring at the small white yard. “Your father would’ve already been out here building a swing for them. That’s how I know it’ll all be okay.”
When she turned back to me, the overwhelming scent of her hairspray blinded me, but her embrace erased everything that happened the night before. And with that, I knew there was a brief reprieve from the family drama and I could go home.
Frigid air caused by a broken radiator greeted me at the door of my condo. Just one more thing to not celebrate that Christmas. When I made another coffee and settled into my oversized chair near the living room window, I was grateful I had another three weeks before returning to work.
I tried to put my family out of my mind and organized my closet and kitchen over the next two days, losing my phone somewhere in the process until I found it inside an egg carton in the recycling pile. I took that as a sign sleep and water deprivation weren’t good, so I spent as much time as I could in bed but, when my phone charged, I sort of lost control. Burrowed in my bed, I became an internet spy of Matthew and Rhys Bennett, and my research left me overwhelmingly confused.
Pictures of Matthew and anyone with bare legs and boobs flashed across the screen with each scroll, but some articles spoke well of his character, regardless of his frequency to engage with the ladies. There were even piles of photos with Sadie that I never knew existed, exposing me to a world she’d kept secret without trying.
I prepared to fall into the hole about Matthew, even though seeing Sadie everywhere filled me with a strange sense of guilt, but it was what my research informed me about Rhys that surprised me most. Not sure if I should’ve felt awful about treating him so rudely at first, I purchased a print of one of his award-winning photographs. I needed to quit myself while I was ahead, but every image posted on his website, or written about in articles I’d read during my sleep-deprived state, was a beautiful moment of our world captured with the gifted push of a button.
A few days after finding my phone and my impulsive purchase of Rhys’s print, mom asked me to meet her in the city after one of her club meetings. It was a group for widows or empty nesters, either meaning I’d find her outside of the Chelsea Market in pearls and a fur coat. Benji and I tried reasoning with her a few times about not wearing that, but she told us that’s how she’d dress whenever dad took her out in the city, when we’d tell her it made her a target for crime.
Sipping piping lattes, we watched people wander around the market from our table at a café. I wanted to tell her I read chapters four and five of her book and learned that I was an angry wench because of shattered expectations of myself, but I kept that to myself.
“I saw Iris this morning,” she informed, her pearl bracelet rattling as she reached for her latte. “You remember Iris?”
“No.”
