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Stroking his gray beard, he placed a pudgy hand on my shoulder and guided me forward while he continued. “As we’ve been so lucky to receive a visiting professor from the University of Florence this term, we’ve needed to make some adjustments to office space.” The same pudgy hand now waved, permitting me to follow him toward my office, where I struggled to balance the stack of syllabi in one arm while unlocking my office door. He followed me in, pointing to the desk now stuffed perpendicular to mine.
“We’ve temporarily placed Professor Ricci’s assistant in here with you.”
Standing still, my eyes were all that moved as my gaze traveled through the cramped space to my desk where an overflowing vase of roses left me bewildered and struggling to hear the old man’s words.
Gorgeous blooms of yellow, the petal tips faintly touched with a hue of red, held my attention as he rambled behind me. Unable to look away, to open the small envelope stuffed between blooms, I nodded along and waited for him to leave before dropping the syllabi on my desk, peeling open the envelope and reading the card.
My dearest Mia,
May your return to work be peaceful and the days until we meet again be quick.
Yours,
Rhys
Falling into my chair, I spun toward the window. Still wrapped in my scarf and coat, paperwork and roses behind me, I stared at the snow covering the sidewalk and shrubs beneath my window. Tapping the card against my left palm, I eventually numbed to the tingle of cardstock on my skin. When Rhys told me I was in control, part of my wall crumbled. I didn’t need his permission, his validation, but having someone outside of my family remind me to let go was empowering. I hoped I could take that confidence with me into the spring term and straight to spring break. When I’d be in London.
For a second, I considered calling Sadie to see if she landed, but I figured Matty locked her up somewhere and I needed to keep myself separate, until she called with her next crisis and I could send her call straight to voicemail. Telling myself I’d call her after a week passed, I turned in my chair to see the roses from Rhys. Being in control, having control, made it easier to size up the rest of life. Sharing my space with the visiting professor and his assistant would’ve irritated me, had the roses not been there as a fortunate distraction.
After I’d stared at the snow and roses for long enough, I opened the calendar on my computer and counted. Two dozen roses and eight weeks until Sadie’s wedding. And there it was, three days after the color-coded reminder of Sadie’s nuptials, and I found the other shoe to not only drop, but to be thrown aggressively at my heart. Heel first.
When Caleb and I finally accepted our relationship was over, I thought I’d gone through and erased every reminder, hoping to give me some sanity while grieving. Somehow, I’d forgotten to erase the event from my calendar, which now reminded me we would’ve been celebrating another anniversary.
Closing my computer, I stood from my desk and took some deep breaths. The flowers helped, their fragrance and sender giving me pause. I tried to channel the control Rhys told me I had, but I felt a little lost in a place that once felt like a sanctuary. My hands twitched, impulsively reaching for my phone with one while the other rubbed a soft yellow petal between my fingers.
“My darling Mia,” Rhys answered after three rings. “Thank you for rescuing me from an awful dinner.”
It was the first time I’d heard his voice since he kissed me goodbye the morning after we’d slept together, and hearing his soft murmur on the other line took my breath away.
He repeated my name two more times before I finally replied. “Thank you for the roses.”
I could hear the smile in his voice, and seeing it in my thoughts helped settle my nerves. “You’re welcome. How has your time back at work been?”
“Your roses helped,” I disclosed. “Have you ever been to Italy?”
“Several times. Why?”
Blushing, I was thankful he couldn’t see me. “I’m sorry to interrupt your date.”
“I don’t go on those,” he chuckled. “See, there’s this American I’m hoping will come around and she hasn’t yet. In fact, what I’m taking part in is a tortuous meal presented by my parents and your most favorite person before he leaves to spend the night with your sister.”
“That must be awful,” I laughed, maybe a little too hard as the embarrassment of thinking I’d interrupted his date mixed with the butterflies tickling my lungs in response to his suggestion I hadn’t yet come around to him.
“It is. Tell me why Italy’s on your mind.”
I told Rhys about my new office mates, but not the rest of what really brought me down that afternoon. When I’d fished, and blinked away a few silent tears that lingered with the sad calendar reminder, Rhys told me about one trip he’d taken in Italy and picturing it was therapeutic.
“I’ll take you there when you’re here in March,” he offered. “The most beautiful sunsets and pristine water.”
Lifting the stem of a rose, I inhaled the sweet fragrance while he described an area of the Italian coast, my knees weakening with the thought of being alone with him anywhere. “It’s a date,” I mindlessly replied.
* * *
I met my mom for breakfast a few days later, thankful she came to the city on some errands, so she couldn’t imprison me in her house discussing onesies and writing late thank-you notes for Sadie’s shower.
“Did you read this, Mia?” She shoved a newspaper clipping across the table, lodging it under my knife.
I felt myself shrink in the chair, weak and insignificant, when I peered at the clipping. Caleb’s smile tore through the pixilated image of him standing with a group of children, everyone caught in a moment of happiness. I loved waking up to his smile, watching the lines slowly form mischievously or innocently, and seeing it seconds before he’d wrap me in his arms when he came home at night.
