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One of these firefighters could have beenmyfirefighter. We were so close to this version of happily ever after, but I let him slip away. I lost him and chased my dreams only to have them lead me right back here. The irony makes my stomach swirl with nausea.
When the sea of firefighters finally parts, I find the one Pretty Posie doll left on the shelf.Thank you old Saint Nick. At least there’s some kind of justice left in this world.I grab it, shoving it into my cart then dig into my purse in search of the toy list.
My phone’s screen is illuminated with a text message from my brother Emmett. He must know I’m back. That isn’t a surprise, word travels fast amongst the Tidings.Hey, Mom’s mentioned your back. Just offering to feature your food on my site one last time. Take me up on it.
I shove the phone back into my purse and go back to looking for the scrap of yellow paper where I jotted down every toy not yet purchased.Not a chance, Emmett.
I’ve spent my whole life being the odd Tiding out and I’m going to succeed or fail on my own accord. I don’t need a pity post from my brother. My food, quirky as it is, will speak for itself, eventually. I don’t… wait.What?My eyes grow wide and my heart rate ticks up.
I tilt my head in confusion. “Excuse me, Ma'am, that’s my cart. That’s my Pretty Posie doll.”
“The cart was unattended.” The woman, probably Karen if I had to guess, shoves the doll under her arm and gives me a shrug. Her face is plastered with a thick orange foundation and false eyelashes that should look terrible, but somehow work on her.
I blink and anger bubbles in my stomach. “What in the world? Who does that? Give me the damn doll, it’s for… the children.” My voice is louder than I expect, and I throw a hand on my hip.
“Now it’s for my daughter, a child. It was top of her list. Have you got a daughter?” The woman smiles at me like we’re two friends meeting for overpriced coffee and it catches me off guard.
“Me? Well, no, but it’s for someone’s daughter and besides it doesn’t matter, I had it first.” I put a hand on the doll and attempt to tug it from the woman’s arm. Pretty Posie doesn’t budge.This is unbelievable.
“Bless your heart, what are you trying to do?” The woman’s voice goes shrill bellows above the noise in the store.
“I’m trying to get my Pretty Posie!” I screech. “I will not be giving up this only gift a child asked for to your entitled kid, Karen!”
I tug again and the doll breaks free from her arms, but her pumpkin spice latte comes with it. Probably Karen does some kind of flail followed by a mock fall and lands in a pile of squishy stuffed dogs. I take a step closer to her and peer down. I stand there triumphantly, a true June Osborne, with a doll under my arm and someone else’s cold coffee splattered all over me.
But when I turn, all eyes are on me. I admit I feel slightly less victorious now. My face flushes with heat and I’m a bit embarrassed. Though I shouldn’t be, it’s not like I’m the one who tried to steal a doll from a kid. Then, hot firefighting troop comes out of the woodwork in droves. They swarm Karen and she points a finger in my direction.
Heat flushes my cheeks. My eyes flick across the room. All of a sudden, I can’t breathe at all. I realize I’m not staring at any firefighter, I’m staring at the man who could have beenmyfirefighter. Looking directly into the face of my great almost. My first love. My Shawn. My mouth falls open and I let the doll slip willingly from my hands.
Karen is back on her feet muttering something as she turns away from me, but I can’t hear her. I can’t see the people or the tin soldiers or smug Santa. It’s all one, red and green mass floating behind the head of the man I can’t believe is staring back at me.
Shawn looks as handsome as ever. His dark hair and darker eyes complement his perfect smile. He’s got more muscles in the years since I've seen him. Plus he’s in his firefighter uniform which is a totally unfair advantage. But the kindness is still there.
I stare, my mouth hanging open. Until Shawn’s hand comes up ever so slightly into a wave and reality crashes down on me.Oh shit. That’s Shawn and I’m covered in coffee.I smooth a strand of hair behind my ear and take a step back.
I can’t do this. Maybe there’s a chance he didn’t see me. Maybe he thought I was someone else. Maybe he just stopped to look at the curvy woman with the amazing ass covered in coffee without knowing it was me.
Shawn steps toward me and the crowd dissipates behind him. “Edel?”
Or maybe he knows exactly who I am even covered in coffee, even after all this time. Maybe, just like me, he could never forget.
Chapter Two Edel
“Shawn. Uh, hi.” I cross my arms over my drenched chest.
“Ironic, Blue Christmas was just playing and now, here you are.” His words wrap around me, a tidal wave of nostalgia within them.
“Doing a little Christmas shopping are you?” He smiles and a familiar dimple appears.
I can’t muster a response. He’s gorgeous. A lifetime of regrets cross my mind and I can hardly look into his eyes.
He takes a step closer to me and I feel electricity crackle on my skin. “Are you back home for the holiday? Or is it your mom’s party that brought you?” When I don’t say anything, he continues, “I’m surprised your brother didn’t mention that you were back in town. Not that he would. You must have kids now then, a little girl from the looks of it?” He gestures to the doll at my feet.
“Uhh—”
“Wow, that’s weird to think that you’re a mom. Are you… okay?” He rambles the way he does when he’s trying to warm up a cold audience, but my mind stays frozen. Then Shawn runs a hand down my forearm and his touch sends sparks shooting through me.
I swallow hard. “Hi, yeah I’m fine. These gifts aren’t for my kids, I actually don’t have any kids. But I’m sure you do. You must have the whole picket fence thing happening by now. Lots of babies to shop for and all that.” My words are choppy and turn up at the ends in a way that sounds odd to my own ears. But what do you say to the only man you’ve ever loved?
