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“Me too,” Declan said, then ended the call. He hugged his phone against his chest and was floating until he caught sight of himself. “Hold on. This is actually happening,” he realized.
This was definitely a real date. A date that would last through the weekend and include sleepovers. It hadn’t felt like as big of a deal the weekend prior because Declan had found a way to be unconscious most of the time.
“Oh, fuck! I need help!” He ran to the door and threw it open. Declan glanced at Lavender and Sage’s, then shook his head. Sage would shove his car keys at Declan and tell him to haul ass up to Chicago. Declan needed an actual game plan so he hurried across the street. If he was lucky, Speed would be free. His nerve was already buckling as he knocked on the door. It opened just a heartbeat later and Speed’s eyes lit up.
“Declan! How’s it going?” He looked too happy to see Declan and too smooth in a fitted three-piece tweed suit in dark brown. Speed had paired it with a blue shirt, an orange paisley tie, and a matching pocket square. He looked like a fall photo shoot and Declan laughed at himself for thinking he could turn anyone’s head with a simple sweater. “Never mind! I can’t do this!”
“What’s wrong?” Speed asked, hooking his arm around Declan’s and yanking him over the threshold.
“I…” Declan looked around the foyer and the living room for Blake. As much as Declan loved him, Blake could be a little too enthusiastic and a touch pushy. Blake had a habit of projecting his confidence onto Declan and forgot that some people liked being invisible and ignored. He was one of those “eye contact” people and gave whomever he was with his undivided attention at all times. It could be a little unsettling for Declan. And he had a feeling Blake was going to go ballistic when he found out about Atlas’s invitation. “I need help. Is Blake here?”
“No. He ran up the street to show Lane his new ‘trail running’ sneakers,” Speed said, curling his fingers and rolling his eyes. “Says he had a new move he wanted to try out too.”
“Weird. I’m never running again. Especially with them,” Declan stated and shook his head.
“Don’t blame you. Want to hang out until he gets back?” Speed offered, but Declan shook his head even harder.
“It’s probably better if we get this over with. And I’m not sure if I even want him to know…”
Speed’s brows jumped and his lips tilted into an amused smile. “You sure you want to ask me for advice?” But he put his arm around Declan. Speed gave him an encouraging squeeze as they headed for the decanters in the dining room and Declan was suddenly glad he’d raced across the street in terror. He felt like things might turn out alright if Speed said so and was grateful. Fate had done him a real solid when it brought the two of them back together.
“I know you’re going to tell me to go for it. But you’ll tell mehowto go for it without making a fool of myself. Blake and Sage think I’m too cute to fail or that me being mortified all the time works for Atlas, but I can’t take it!” He confessed in a loud whisper. “For once, I’d like to feel like I wasn’t a mess. And it would be really cool if I could figure out how to tell him I’m ready, that I’m not afraid of getting a job and being an adult.”
“I don’t think Beesley’s worried about that. At least, not the way you’re worried about it…” Speed pointed at one of the darker liquors but Declan shook his head.
“I might have to drive later and that’s the last thing I need. I’ll say too much or end up crying.”
Speed made a sympathetic sound as he poured himself a drink. “I get the feeling Beesley doesn’t want to pressure you and he’s waiting for you to make up your mind.”
“I have! I want to stay and I know what I want to do, but what if it’s too fast for him? He’s already taking a chance dating someone with my baggage. He’s going to think I’m a stalker if I get a job and a place close to his this soon. Who moves halfway across the country for someone before they’ve even gone on a real date?”
“That sounds kind of romantic. You’re forgetting that Beesley knows all about your baggage and you’re too scared of your own shadow to stalk anyone.”
“Maybe.Howdo I show him I’m ready if he’s ready?” Declan asked, then winced. “I tried in Sparks, but I think I came on a little too strong.”
“I seriously doubt that,” Speed said, snorting into his drink. “I have a feeling Beesley forgot he wasn’t on duty. He can’t leave the bureau at the city limits and bend the rules for Marston and Lavender as easily as Sloan can.Yet.Beesley still has a hard time separating himself from his duty to his FBI overlords. But, he’ll get there. Beesley sees that he’s got a brighter and more exciting future here than turning into a fuckin’ paper-pushing bureaucrat.”
“That might be his dream, though. I want Atlas to run the whole FBI, but I wouldn’t be able to live back east. People out there know who I am and they still hate my father. Including the people that get to pick the next director of the FBI.”
Speed gagged dramatically. “No way Beesley wants to be king of the cops.” He gave his head a firm shake. “I bet he’ll tell you if you ask him.”
“How do I ask him without sounding selfish or presumptuous? I’m not worth it, if that’s what he’s giving up.”
“I’m not so sure I agree.” Speed shrugged.
“That’s flattering, but please help me. He was supposed to come here so we could have a do-over because I was stoned out of my skull last weekend. But something came up and he’s on call now. He invited me to stay with him for the weekend, but I know I’m going to mess this up!”
“I see. Have the two of you…” Speed cringed apologetically.
“No!” Declan covered his face as it became hot and smothered a scream. “I want to and I’ve thrown myself at him twice. I don’t know if I’ll be able to help myself, but it’s going to be so humiliating if I fail again.”
“You’re not failing! And I think I know what you need,” Speed said, giving Declan’s shoulder a reassuring shake.
“What’s that?”
“A car.”
Declan’s head cocked in confusion. “A car? Sage said I could borrow his any time I need it.”
