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It took some time, but Jasmine eventually admitted her attraction to girls. She downplayed it quite a bit, but it was more or less the truth. He took it remarkably well. From there, her trust, and some affection for him, grew. This, she suspected, was the pastor’s intent for all who engaged in the exercise. She didn’t know if it worked for anyone else, as the content of the conversations between pairs was strictly confidential, but it worked wonders for her and was why she actually initiated their first kiss.
It had been so long since she had felt any physical connection with someone. And while there was no spark with Adam, it wasn’t horrible. He had done his fair share of groping. As it turned out, the good Christian boy had some very sinful desires, and he had whispered them to her on more than one occasion. In various ways, over and over.
OK, OK. I get it.You want to get laid.
Even now, he fumbled around in the darkness of the driveway for her rear. She let him, accepting his kiss, tasting the wine they had both drunk on his lips.
“I gotta get inside,” she muttered.
“You always say that,” Adam groaned in reply. “Do you have to tease me?”
“I’m not,” she said, pulling away, touching his face. “It’s just... I’m not sure it’s—”
“The right time? When is? Seriously, what are you waiting for? Or who are you waiting for?”
“I’m not waiting on anyone. It’s not right before marriage.”
“We’ve both done things we aren’t supposed to before marriage. So, what’s the problem?”
Truthfully, she couldn’t answer that. What was the problem? That she wasn’t ready? When would she be? Would she ever be? Was she just terrified of it being her first time with a boy? Maybe this was what it always felt like beforehand. She had been nervous before Ava. Even more so than this, because Ava meant so much to her, but she had to wake up. Ava was gone and out of her life for good. If she resisted physical intimacy with everyone else that came along because they weren’t Ava, she would be alone forever. Always under her parents’ thumb and always the unholy spawn they prayed nightly she wouldn’t turn out to be.
Jasmine ran a hand through his hair, trying to be as sincere as possible. “Nothing.”
When he kissed her again, she could feel his sense of victory. It was the uptake in aggression as her back met the brick wall of her house. It was in the way he unzipped himself before his hands found their way up and under her skirt, cupping her arse, and the way he pressed his erection into her groin.
“Take em’ off,” he growled.
“Not out here. Not like this.” Before he could groan again, she used a heap of saliva on her fingers and wrapped her fist around his cock. Then he groaned loudly enough for her to cover his mouth with her free hand. She pumped him like she thought he would like. Nothing had ever felt more awkward.Should I just keep pumping like this?
“Can you suck it? Please?”
She took a deep breath and lowered to her knees, holding the base of his dick as she positioned it int her mouth. She had gotten off on straight porn before, so she had a good idea of what to do, and it apparently worked. For him.
He grabbed either side of her head and thrust his hips back and forth. The tip of him hit the roof of her mouth and then the back of her throat, over and over. She cringed and scrunched her face as he held her still while fucking her face. She had seen this in straight porn too. It never looked appealing. It felt worse than it looked.
Jasmine gripped his belt buckle in a screaming, yet silent, protest until it was over and her mouth filled with sticky salt. He finally released her and she spit it all out into the dirt, retching and coughing.
He was breathless, blissful. “Oh God. I’m so sorry, but I couldn’t help it.”
“It’s OK,” she replied, rising as she spat more out. “Can you just not be so rough?”
He pressed her gently into the wall, touching her face. This move, this reaction, would’ve been much better. “I swear. I’d never hurt you on purpose, but you drive me crazy. I feel all these things, and I know I shouldn’t. I’ve never felt anything like what I do for you.”
He gently kissed her neck, her favourite move. Although she shivered, she placed her hands on his chest and held him at bay. “Enough for tonight. It’s late and I’m really tired.”
He leant back. “OK. OK. No problem. I just wanted to return the favour.”
“It’s OK. Maybe next time.”
The kiss goodnight was soft, yet awkward. Finally alone, Jasmine went inside and headed straight to the bedroom. Upon turning on the light, she stared at her reflection: the unkempt hair, tousled like she had been in a fight. The lipstick almost smeared across both cheeks. Lord, was this what her parents wanted? Was this what it was like to be straight?
She searched in her purse for alcohol wipes and found lip balm instead. She held it in her hand, remembering why this particular balm meant so much. She had opened it several times but never used it.
Ava had bought it for her during their trip to theRoyal Easter Show, and had snuck in a special note on the inside of the lid. She opened it, looking at it again even though she knew what the note said, because it was Ava’s handwriting. This was the one thing her parents hadn’t managed to take from her. The one thing remaining from the time Jasmine had been truly happy.
She put the lip balm down and continued her search but found the razor blade before the wipes. She quickly locked the door and raised her skirt. She positioned the blade above her thigh but just before she added to the cuts, now scars, along her skin, the events of the night played in her mind.
The brutal way his dick pounded her mouth. The fact she almost screamed before it was over. Her mouth filling with him when he was done. She had endured a lot, but thinking about it now, she had still made him cum. He had wanted to get her off, right?
