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She went on, “But it’s different with Matthew. He’s not married, and you used to be in a relationship. He’s got money too, right? He could help?”
I knew she was right. If I was going to have a baby, I needed funds and even with my mother’s help, we would struggle. It was his child too after all.
I lay awake all night, thinking about how I would tell Matthew and by the time the sun came up, I felt weak and exhausted. My mother had made breakfast for me and forced me to eat some of it.
“You need your strength,” she said, her eyes filled with love and concern.
“Whatever you decide, I will be here, ready to help you,” she said. I felt like crying again.
As soon as I got to the office, I went to Matthew’s office. His PA said he’d stepped out and I waited for him. I don’t know how long I waited but then he walked in, his eyes narrowing.
“Lauren?”
“Do you have a minute to talk?”
“Not really, I’m in the middle of something,” he said. His face was closed off to me, he looked at me like I was a stranger.
“Okay,” I nodded and walked out, not able to face him like this.
“Wait!” he called after me.
I kept walking to the elevator. It was all too much.
He came after me, grabbing my arm.
“What is it?”
I blurted it out. “I’m pregnant,” I said. “It’s yours.”
The doors of the elevator opened, and I moved towards it.
“What?” he said, his face frozen in shock.
“I wanted to tell you, that’s all.”
I got into the elevator and pressed the ground floor button. I didn’t look back at him. I simply closed the doors and waited to go down. I wasn’t going to work now. I couldn’t face the thought of sitting at my desk and pretending everything was normal. I took out my phone and texted Diaz that I was going to the doctor today and would be going home.
I walked towards the subway.
“Lauren!”
I turned around and it was Matthew, calling out to me.
“Can we talk?”
“Do you have a minute now?” I said, unable to help myself. “Look, I don’t want anything from you, all right?”
“Are you going to keep it?” he asked, his voice strained.
“I don’t know,” I said.
All around us, people were rushing past us to go to work, to do shopping, to meet up with friends. Nobody paid any attention to us. I was having one of the most important conversations of my life, but it did not matter to anyone but me.
“Surely not!” Panic flashed through his eyes. “I mean, how do you even know it’s mine?”
“It’s yours, trust me.”
“Trust you?!”
