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“What of Raymond?” Judith asked, because she had always been fond of her young step-cousin.
“He managed to escape to France, and he sought to join our kin in Aquitaine. Yet he didn’t receive the warm welcome he’d expected.”
“At least he’s safe from Henry’s wrath!” Judith mused with relief.
King Henry might have been lenient on most of those who’d played a part in the rebellion, but some of his punishments had been swift – those he’d bestowed upon the noble lords and ladies who’d played a portentous part in the rebellion. So it was a relief that Judith’s cousin had escaped with his life. He had a chance of building a new life for himself in France, and maybe, in time, Henry would be even brought to pardon him for his parents’ deeds and rescind his exile.
“My brother,” Lady Fenice said in sheer anguish, “is not the man I thought he was! It seems he wishes to have none of us or our kin!”
The news did not surprise Judith. For years, she’d begun to suspect her Occitan uncle had grown sour towards his sisters who resided on English soil. She could not begin to guess the cause of this enmity, but it was plain there was no place for her mother in her brother’s home.
“We have a home here,” she said gently.
She stared upon her mother, knowing already what she’d been too blind to see all these years. Her mother was indeed sick, but she was more diseased than even Judith had imagined. Her unhappiness had loomed like a large dark shadow upon her and Judith’s lives. Nell Tyler was right. In some ways, her mother was a prisoner of her own making.
“A home,” Lady Fenice scoffed. “At the fiend’s mercy?”
“Hush, Mother, Tristram is no fiend,” Judith said wearily.
She thought of Tristram, and of how Tristram had attempted to protect her even when she’d spurned him and had judged him unfairly. Of how Tristram had borne the pain and the humiliation of a flogging for her sake. She had misjudged her husband grievously. And she could not blame her own blindness fully on her mother. She herself was to blame for the troubles in her marriage.
“Oh, I see now,” her mother said and her voice rang ugly and full of venom, unlike her usually melodious tones. “He’s enslaved you with his bedchamber eyes and sinful ways. How many times have I told you men are not to be trusted? Are you so shallow that you only think of the ways of the flesh? That you allow him to rule you just because you can’t get enough of his lechery?”
Judith stood silent, gazing through the window at the world outside which her mother had pushed away.
“I see how it is. You are his puppet now in every way! I knew this would happen ever since my sister first wrote about the lovesick way you gazed upon him at Court. I urged then for the match with Raymond, yet your dull father would have none of it!” Lady Fenice ranted.
Judith turned, feeling deep heat rise in her cheeks.
“You and Edith! You always plotted to have me parted from Tristram, I see that now. And as for Edith, I can see why she wished for her stepson to have my dowry. But you… You always knew I was in love with Tristram. Why were you so set against him?”
“I thought to spare you the heartache! A man like him would have never kept faith with a woman like you!”
“Why? Because he is accomplished in every way and because you see me as dim-witted and ugly? Because you see me as unworthy of a good man’s love?”
The words rang bitter, in echo of what Nell Tyler had uttered.He wants to marry you, daughter. Her own father’s words at the time he’d urged for her match with Tristram. She hadn’t understood at the time what her father had meant, but it was now as clear as day that in his own artless way her father had been trying to convey to her that Tristram could learn to love her for herself, not for the dowry she would bring. And Tristram did love her, in spite of the wretched way she’d behaved to him.
“It is not so, my sweet one!” Lady Fenice uttered, taken aback by Judith’s forceful words. “He’s broken your heart already, and he will break it, again and again! It’s all a game to him, just as I’ve often said!”
Judith shook her head with a hollow laugh.
“You truly believe he can’t ever love me for myself. And you’ve mademebelieve it. You even stooped to lie about his lady love at Court!”
Lady Fenice’s face went crimson.
“You are mistaken. I don’t recall ever telling for certain he had a lady love. And even if I did, it was my sister Edith’s own words that I was repeating!”
“Did Edith ever see him with this lady?”
“It is what she said! I was only repeating her words.”
Lady Fenice’s tone was gentle and sweet, and, perchance another time, Judith would have strived to believe her mother spoke the truth, yet this day had been a day of revelations. And Judith had grown sick of deceiving herself.
“Nay. You lied! I wonder even if there’s a lady by that name. Perchance she’s all a lie you conjured up. A heinous lie! And I was foolish enough to believe you. What of the letter telling me the Church had annulled my marriage to Tristram? I showed it to Tristram’s cousin, and he pointed out the seal was but a clever look-alike. Was that still Edith? Let me guess… Not only she, but you and she, in league. What did you think to accomplish by leading me to believe my marriage was over? Make it appear I stood against Tristram so that he may forever forsake me?”
“I…”
Lady Fenice suddenly clutched her chest.
