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My throat started closing up as I felt the saltiness of my tears in the back of my throat. I fought hard to squelch them back down. “Well, it happened.”
He barely gave me a glance before he stared past me, huffing out the heaviest sigh of all. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry…” I reiterated, pressing my lips together before I made a cruel, dry laugh. “God, he’s sorry. Did you hear that?” What a joke. “You’re sorry,” I repeated again as I stared at him coldly. “I just told you I love you… and all you have to say is that you’re sorry for fucking me?”
He didn’t give any reaction. Not a damn thing. He was so mercurial and what made it more difficult for me was the very fact that I had just laid my heart out there so he’d know where I stood, yet my effort was not even acknowledged. He went on pretending that it never had happened. It had taken me all this time to finally have enough courage to say the words, and the man on the receiving couldn’t give a rat’s ass about it. Karma was one cruel fucker.
“It’s just sex, Liv.” Grey gave me a look like I should know better—that look men usually gave women to get a grip after a one-night stand. “What’d you think it was?”
This was the second time he had initiated sex with me, and on both counts, he was remorseful right after. At first, I thought it was because he regretted it due to him being married and all, but the more I saw his face—his eyes—I knew it was me. I realized that he could sleep with anyone and wouldn’t feel an ounce of regret, but when it came to me, he hated himself for lusting and wanting me still. He hated the life out of me. So how did I get myself out of this rut? The usual way I tend to go about it…
“I’m drunk… and I was imagining things.” I winced, wanting the security of my place. I looked down and double-checked everything on my skirt—that it wasn’t ripped or stained before I decided to stand up to leave him be. “From now on, I want you to stay away from me as much as possible. This is getting out of control. I guess I’ll be seeing you around.” I didn’t even give him one last look before taking my leave. I was a few feet away when he called out to me.
“Let me drive you home.”
What the hell for? I wanted to laugh but didn’t have any strength left to make another round of arguments. My emotional and mental capacity were at their limits after I was just blatantly rejected for telling him how I truly felt.
“I’m fine.”
“Olivia!” he called out after me.
I never looked back, nor was I tempted to. Tonight had been the most terrifying and embarrassing experience I had ever had to date. Bruised and defeated, I concentrated on my way home without shedding a tear. I wished there was a soul I could tell about any of this. The only person that I told most of my secrets to was the one I had also managed to push away, ignoring him for the past month.
Once I got home, I calmly took my time in undressing as I stared at myself in the mirror. Tears coursed down my face. My face had mascara streaks as I regarded myself for the first time, wondering when the feisty woman that had such full potential with a bright future ahead of her had become something like this? Pathetic, disgusting, ruined by a man who wanted nothing other than my body. How did I bring myself back up and be motivated to live again?
“You’re done. You’ve fucked everything up,” I whispered to myself as I eyed my naked body. Never had I felt this ugly and unwanted. Wasn’t it only less than an hour ago when I’d felt pure bliss, savoring its beauty as I opened myself up to him, freely giving away my body for his own pleasure and never feeling more beautiful and cherished?
That’s the thing with love, it made one delusional. I was so messed in the head I couldn’t differentiate which was which. I saw what I wanted to see. Felt what I wanted to feel. But no matter how I changed the equation, dressed and undressed it, the outcome remained the same—Greyson Edwards did not love me any longer.
CHAPTER58
Grey
God how I hated her,but the idea of her walking alone at night left a sour taste in my mouth. So, as quietly as I could, I followed her home, watching as she wrapped her arms around her body with her head down, not even paying attention when she crossed the road, not seeming to care if there were oncoming cars. A couple of times, I was tempted to yell at her to watch out, yet I knew I shouldn’t. She was in a delicate state… as was I.
I patiently waited until she was safe in her apartment before I retraced my steps to my car. I had known where she lived. In fact, I had extra keys to her place after insisting to my father that it was for emergency purposes. At that time, I wasn’t sure what the fuck I was thinking, but somehow, I was relieved that I could access her anytime I wanted. The keys were left unused, though. I had contemplated a few times if I should come out to see her at night, just to check if she was fucking another guy. But every time I was about to, I remembered seeing her in her bathroom, legs wide open while Liam ate her up… The vivid image of her gripping his hair as she cried out for more made me halt my plan.
Olivia gifted me a telescope last Christmas, telling me that we’d have such fun stargazing and making out under the moonlight. We did all that and more. And as for the telescope, well, I used it to see her from time to time. Before she and I hooked up, I was already crazy for her. But after she gave me her virginity, I became obsessed, always needing to know everything she did.
The woman I fell hard for was a Jack of all trades. She was a terrific liar and a closeted slut. Her betrayals cut me to the core until I had no love left for her.
Edith, on the other hand, had always and forever stayed true to me. Marrying her meant nothing much for me, but it meant the world to her. I wasn’t a jackass to deny her that little happiness after how she’d been loyal to me all through the years. She promised and delivered about giving me freedom even though we were tied together. One thing she made me promise, though, was to never touch Olivia again. And I failed her. Twice. Guilt ate me up, however I’d deal with that when the time came.
For now, I had to see the snake that called himself my best man.
After a quick call, I drove towards Ro’s place where everyone had apparently moved to hang out and possibly crash for the night. The drive was quick, about five minutes, and I hadn’t even found parking when I saw Jet walk towards the middle of the road and stand there, greeting my arrival.
The sight of him made the green-eyed fucker come out and play. This bastard had his hands all over Olivia. How fucking dare he betray me!
I cussed out as I forgot about looking for somewhere to park and pulled the emergency lights before coming out of the car, out for blood.
“Welcome back, bro.”
I spat on the ground as I clenched my fists, ready to give him blows. “The fuck it is, you backstabbing snake!” I flexed and cracked my fingers before I saw him smugly smile at me.
He smirked as if he’d just found out a great secret. “Still gets you, don’t it?”
“What the fuck?” I frowned.
