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Mood:Ashamed, annoyed, and stressed
I think I really messed things up at the party in the boys’ cabin. I shouldn’t have drunk so much or agreed to play that stupid game. Regretting it all now.
I’m seriously disgusted with myself for what I said to Kinsey about putting an innocent man in jail. I know it’s not true but I just hate her so much for stealing Jax from me. But I regretted it as soon as I said it, and honestly I actually felt kind of sick saying it when I’ve always known that George K is a disgusting slimebag. I just really wanted to hurt that stupid little bitch. It didn’t work, though. Everyone is obsessed with her now, including Jax, and they’re all mad at me. Even Bobbi and Harlow seem like they’re pissed at me.
So stressed about it all. I’ve even started smoking again ugh I am so gross.
“That’s interesting,” Erin said, scratching the side of her cheek. “Cerina knew what your dad was really like, Jax. It sounds like she knewbeforehe got caught, too.”
“Yeah, that’s true,” I said, rubbing my jaw. “But he couldn’t have killed her. He was still in prison when she was murdered.”
“Right.”
“I have an idea,” Bobbi cut in. “Instead of sitting here scrolling through every single entry, we should search for key words and names.”
“That’s a good idea,” I said, nodding slowly. “Start with Kinsey. It might help to narrow down their mutual enemy.”
“Good call.” Bobbi typed rapidly. “Here we go. Here’s another mention of her.”
September 14th, 2021
Mood:Infuriated and scared
I feel sick. I’m so stupid. I can’t believe this, honestly. I thought Matt and I were getting sort of close. Maybe not so much as friends, but possible accomplices, I guess. That’s probably not the right word either but I can’t think of it right now.
He seemed to agree with me on so much. I really thought he’d help me but I went and talked to him about all of it tonight, and it’s like he suddenly did a total one-eighty. He said I need to consider it very carefully, and then he started going on about what it might do to my life. It actually almost sounded like a threat.
He said he won’t say anything to anyone about the stuff I told him, but I don’t trust him anymore. No way. I bet he’s already told my parents. Everyone else too. They’re probably watching everything I do now. I’ll have to be careful when I write out my monthly schedules or text and call people. If they notice anything out of place, I’m totally screwed.
Also, as if everything wasn’t already bad enough, that smug bitch Kinsey Holland walked in on us when we were talking. Now she totally thinks Matt and I are having an affair. I told her to stay the fuck out of my business but I’m worried she’s going to tell everyone. I really need to take care of her somehow. Make sure she keeps that stupid mouth of hers shut.
“Holy shit,” Erin said in a low voice. She looked over at me. “That’s Mr. Blythe she’s talking about, right?”
Bobbi’s eyes widened. “Wait,what?”
“Kinsey walked in on them arguing one night,” I replied. “She said it sounded like they were having an affair and Cerina was thinking about going public.”
“But she was wrong,” Erin interjected. “She and Jax went to confront Mr. Blythe a while ago, and he explained it all.”
“Yeah, but I’m pretty sure he lied when he told us what they were talking about.” I clenched my jaw and gestured at the diary entry. “This doesn’t sound like anything he mentioned.”
“What did he say their argument was about?” Bobbi asked.
I gave her a brief rundown of Mr. Blythe’s story—his friendship with Cerina, her unexpected pregnancy, the termination, her guilt over hiding it from her parents.
“That’s what they were arguing about, according to him,” I said, forehead creasing. “He said he was worried about losing his job for helping her get the abortion, so he told her to reconsider her plan to tell people.”
Bobbi slowly shook her head. “That doesn’t track with what Cerina’s written here at all.”
“Exactly. It sounds like she was talking about something else entirely.”
Erin’s face darkened. “I wonder if Cerina was ever actually pregnant,” she said. “Can you search for that in the diary, Bobbi? Any words relating to pregnancy.”
“That’s a good idea,” I said. “She wrote down all her moods in this thing. So if she was really pregnant, she would’ve been shocked and scared. Maybe confused as well, while she tried to figure out what to do.”
“Exactly. She’ddefinitelymention it in there,” Erin replied, dipping her chin toward the laptop screen.
Bobbi typed rapidly, chewing on her bottom lip. “There’s no results,” she said a moment later. “She never mentioned anything about being pregnant. Nothing about an abortion, either.”
