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The old man laughed softly. “Man needs to use what’s between his legs. Makes him a man. Go get laid.”
“Dad, what the hell?” a younger version of the old man said as he came out of the surf shop. “I’m sorry. My dad has no filter.”
“It’s okay.” He was spot on for someone who didn’t even know Preacher. “I actually came to see him. Noa Kekoa. Blue sent me.”
The old man chuckled again, got up, and grabbed up a surfboard that was stuck in the sand not far from the shack, and headed for the water.
“Actually, that’s me. I’m Noa.”
Preacher shook his head. “I see. Your dad is a character.”
Noa rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I would describe him as more of a pain in my butt.”
“I heard that,” the old man called from the shore.
Noa laughed softly. “He’s eighty and can hear a pin drop.”
Preacher watched the old man paddle out into the surf. “He’s still crushing it, though.”
“Yeah, that, too.” Noa leaned back against the shack. “So, what did Blue send you here for?”
“For help.”
“I give surfing lessons. Maybe we should start there?”
Preacher nodded. He spent the next hour learning how to pop up on a board on the beach. When Noa called it quits, Preacher followed suit and folded down into the sand alongside Noa.
“The waves tell a story,” Noa said as he watched the white caps roll to shore. “When you’re out there riding them, you can tell when a big one is coming. We call it a groundswell. The power of the water reaches you through your board. What really brought you here?”
“Desperation,” Preacher answered honestly. “I’ve lost my way.”
Noa nodded. “I feel that. My father is right. Being celibate doesn’t really help. Not in our opinion. It isolates you even more than you already are isolated by your thoughts.”
“I don’t know how to move forward.”
“That must be difficult to admit being a SEAL.” He picked up a handful of sand and let it flow through his fingers. “Maybe you need to go back before you can go forward.”
“How’s that work?”
“Think about when you started feeling this way. Try to pinpoint it and don’t ignore and override.” He dusted off his hands and rose. “Also, take a look at the seven tenets of Hawaiians. There’s wisdom in everything. Come back tomorrow and we’ll get you in the water.”
Preacher sat there for a while after Noa went back to his shack. His desire to move past all this was not only because he didn’t want his work to suffer. It was because he wanted to be real with Karasu. He wanted intimacy with her. He picked up some sand and let it shift through his fingers. As the last grain fell, so did his vow of celibacy.
His demons weren’t going to win, especially the demons he didn’t understand just yet. Navy SEALs knew the value of never quitting and always being a winner. It’s why he would never give in.
Maybe his biggest problem in identifying his issueswas…himself.
7
The dayof GQ’s mother’s funeral, exactly a week later, dawned bright and beautiful. She would hate it, saying the day was mocking her. At least it was dim and cool in the small church. He sat in the front row, the casket covered with flowers from his team and Rose. Other than Iceman’s fiancée and GQ’s friends, Molly, James, and Melinda McCreedy, his teammates were the only attendees.
It was sad to think his mom had no friends, no one who wanted to show up and pay their respects. The thing that was eating at him the most, like a fire in his gut, was the fact that she had kept his father away all these years with lies. He didn’t know what to do with her grinding betrayal. That twisted him up inside to have had to be told how evil his father had been, how GQ was just like him, but never had the chance to experience if that was true. He wanted those letters, a name, an address, something to go on to find him. Give them some chance of reconciling twenty years of absence, maybe not by his dad’s choice.
The priest finished the sermon and GQ rose to say something about his mom. He walked to the podium, his team and the McCreedys giving him support with their expressions and the compassion in their eyes.
He was so thankful for his brothers and the family who had been his lifeline.
“Thank you for coming today to pay respects to my mom. She cared for me in the best way she knew how. It wasn’t always perfect or comfortable, or easy, but it was steady, and I could count on her when I needed her.” Trying to ignore the sudden tightness in his throat, GQ swallowed hard, his eyes hot and stinging. “She didn’t really understand why I joined the Navy or grasp the concept of service to our country. She complained often about my absences, but I took that as her way to show me that she did love me and missed me. She said I was too positive, too optimistic, too kind.
