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Preacher swallowed hard and looked away, his jaw clenched tight against the sudden ache in his throat. “It was mostly Karasu. She’s a fucking ninja warrior and quite an amazing operative.”
After he walked away, he went back to his room, took the time to take a quick shower and change, packed his duffel, then cleared it with Iceman before he took one of the vehicles in the garage and drove to the posh house in Zona Sur. They weren’t leaving until oh-eight hundred in the morning. That gave him some uninterrupted time with Karasu. He wanted answers from her, he needed to know where she wanted to go from here.
He’d made some decisions while in that meeting, listening intently as his mind mulled over so many things. He realized that his numbness was gone. Everything seemed so much more vibrant, so much more important, not only their mission, but his relationship with the team.The knuckleheaded bastards, he thought affectionately. His brothers had been there for him just as they always had been, but now that weird barrier had dissolved.
With a new perspective, he realized that what he loved about his job was these guys and the good they did in the world. His brothers would never let him down and would always be there for him.
Somewhere in the pain and bitterness of what had happened with Striker, he’d lost sight of that. He could come to terms with the Navy and their rules and regulations because in retrospect, all three of themhadbroken the rules, Striker was just the one who suffered for it. Preacher had to take accountability for what had happened, just as Ice and Striker did. But his former leader had been right in Banja Luka. He knew what he was doing and there was no other recourse for him. He hadn’t been there for his brother Neo when he’d been younger and standing by while he was hung out to dry was an impossible situation for Striker. Not to mention, leaving a fellow SEAL, a member of their elite brotherhood, behind was impossible.
Accepting the responsibility that Preacher knew what could happen by disobeying a direct order, he had to also own the fallout, regardless of the blame. Suddenly, he was okay with it. Suddenly, it made sense. Acceptance was what he’d needed all along.
Preacher’s resentment toward the brass was understandable, but he could reconcile it now. The Navy was the foundation from which they worked, and he understood chain of command was vital in maintaining order and discipline. He might not like the politics that had tied the command’s hands, but he understood it was something they all had to deal with if they were to do this job. It would be easy to quit, but a Navy SEAL never quit, was never out of the fight.
The past he could let go of because it was the present where he wanted to live and a future he wanted to contemplate with a very special woman.
When he pulled up, the gate opened and he drove through, then into the garage.
He got out of the vehicle and entered the house. The aroma was breathtaking.
“I’m on the patio,” she called.
He walked through the house to the back door which was open. He stepped out, the wind ruffling his hair. The table was laden with all kinds of dishes and his mouth watered. She turned to look at him and her face brightened. She rose and came to him, slipping her arms around his neck.
“Hey there, Boyce Carmichael. How did the debriefing go?”
His throat suddenly tight and voice husky, he said, “I’ll tell you all about it after you kiss me.”
A slow smile slipped across her face. “Oh, we’re negotiating? I don’t normally do that with big, handsome, oh-so-charming men.”
“Men, huh?”
She gave him a lopsided smile. “I have options.”
He watched her, a peculiar soft feeling filling up his chest as he returned her smile. “I bet you do.”
He wondered how many of his decisions had brought him here to this moment and had dramatically altered the course of his life. The decision to join the military instead of running a bakery certainly had, but he wondered about others. He wondered what would have happened if he’d stayed, if he hadn’t helped Striker, if he hadn’t ended up protecting Alek and his cousin. Would he have found the vital, intricate piece of his heart?
He smiled remembering the first time he’d seen her, a shadow, a whirlwind of lethal beauty and skill. She had looked aloof and exotic, with her almond-shaped eyes and high cheekbones, and he remembered how the sight of her had stopped him cold—as if he recognized her from another time. He could clearly remember thinking she was sassy, opinionated, and confident, but definitely someone special. That was one sentiment that hadn’t changed in the time he’d known her. He still thought she was special, and he couldn’t imagine what his life would be like without her in it.
The decision wasn’t his to make.
That scared the hell out of him.
She stared at him, drinking in his face and he liked that a lot. A glimmer of humor appeared in her eyes. A smile lurking around her mouth, she braced one hand on his chest, leaned into him, and gave him a soft, moist, and deliberately provocative kiss. “I’ve decided to narrow my options down a bit,” she whispered huskily.
He laughed against her mouth. “Solid decision.”
She softly brushed her mouth against his, the warmth and sweetness of the kiss making his pulse erratic. She licked his bottom lip slowly—very slowly. “Aren’t you an agreeable, sexy bastard?”
Opening his mouth over hers, Preacher deepened the kiss, tamping down his desire as best he could. Talking was what they needed to do. The hard fucking could wait for now.
She changed the angle of her head, perfecting the seal of her mouth against his. Her teasing disappeared and her mouth showed him every emotion she was feeling. It was both sweet and bittersweet. He could taste it in her kiss, knowing that Karasu had something important to tell him and he wasn’t going to like it.
He wanted to understand why she was so deep under his skin from the get-go, but it was one of those mysteries of life that would only hurt his head the more he thought about it. Acceptance in everything was the way. She wasn’t always so easy to read, and it hit him that she trusted him to understand. She trusted he would give her the space she needed.
Something unraveled at that thought, something poignant and essential, he almost couldn’t catch his breath.
She trusted him and that left her open and vulnerable to him. He would never squander that gift, no matter what she asked of him.
