AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“And what do you think I want?” I asked him, emotion clogging my throat.
“You want it all,” Damian said, something so fierce in his eyes that it was difficult to hold his gaze. “The getaways and the pet names and the labels and the happily-ever-after. I want to give that to you, I do. But I can’t. There is no future with me. I’m either going to prison or I’m going to drag you down into whatever fucking curse surrounds me. You deserve better than that. You deserve better thanme.”
A single tear rolled down my cheek, and I sniffed, looking away. There was so much I disagreed with there. But I didn’t have the words—or the energy—to fight him.
“Okay,” I finally said. “I get it.”
“Now let’s go,” he said, gently nudging me toward the door. I shook my head.
I couldn’t just keep pretending at his side, playing the role of a devoted girlfriend while he kept himself apart. I didn’t understand how he could lie to himself like that. Didn’t he see or hear himself? Every move he made screamedI’m Jessa’s boyfriend.The insatiable attraction. The thoughtful touches. The sweet moments. Damian was the safe, handsome caretaker who bent over backwards for his woman. Forme.
But I deserved to be acknowledged. I didn’t want to hide in the shadows or pretend my love wasn’t real.
He’d promised no mess. But this was messier than anything else.
“I want to stay here,” I told him.
“Please, Jessa—”
“No.” I shook my head. “I need some time to think about things. I’ll be fine, I promise.”
Damian looked defeated. He pinched the bridge of his nose, looking like he was about to add something. Then he dropped his hand and tore himself away from me and out of the bedroom. His footsteps thudded across the apartment, and a moment later the door slammed shut.
He was gone.
His actions so much louder than his words.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
DAMIAN
I’d asked for hourly updates from the security detail. That was the first thing I reviewed when I finally came to the next morning. All the reports were good. Jessa’s apartment had remained safe.
Not like I’d slept much, despite knowing she had security. Even whiskey couldn’t quiet my mind after that shit show of a Monday. The hurt on Jessa’s face wouldn’t leave me. Her entire spirit had crumpled when I’d told her that I couldn’t do long-term.
I hated being the person to make her crumple. But I’d hate it even more if my being in her life meant even worse things came to her, or both of us.
Anxiety hummed beneath my skin as I forced myself to sit up, scrolling through the updates the security team had sent. I had ex-cops on patrol outside Jessa’s apartment. Just in case. The Fairchild SUV would be waiting for her when she left the building.
She’d be safe. Even if she didn’t want to come stay with me.
I tossed my phone onto the rumpled bedsheets and rubbed at my face. Everything hurt, from my muscles to my heart. I’d punished myself in the gym last night, and then I’d spent too long drinking and working in my bedroom.
I needed to get back to my regular MO, so I could at least feel like I had control. I exercised that control through gym time, working, and whiskey.
It was how I functioned.
It was the only thing that made sense.
But do you still want to keep doing this?
I quieted the voice, which had a distinct Kentucky-girl drawl to it, and hauled myself to the bathroom to get ready for the day. Splash cold water on the face. Pee. Stare at myself in the mirror until things made sense. Opt for a shower after all. Brush teeth. Deodorant. Cologne. More staring into the mirror, trying not to see Jessa in my mind’s eye.
I dressed in the usual—business slacks and a button-down—and snatched up my phone from the bed before rummaging for a tie. I had three missed calls from Axel.
My gut knotted. It had to be bad news. There was no other option in my life anymore.
I called him back as I selected my tie.
