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SASHA
One month later
“What?!” I sputtered.
Melanie cast me a sly grin. “I’m just saying it is plain as day that man is in love with you.”
“How do you know?” I pressed while my heart swooned hopefully.
I took a sip of my tea as Melanie gave me a warm look. “Dear, that man is there almost every night now. Technically, he’s practically living there. He’s embraced Quinn as if she’s his own daughter, and she adores him. She’s like a little sponge when he’s around.”
I felt a twinge in my heart. Not because I didn’t want Quinn to soak up Noah’s affection like a sponge. I did, and it gave me so much joy that she was actually managing this adjustment. She still got cranky and snapped at me here and there, but it was regular teenage stuff. What stung a little in my heart was the awareness that, until now, she’d never had a father figure. I felt as if I’d somehow let her down. Even if I could talk myself out of that premise, it didn’t change the fact my heart wanted to be able to give my daughter everything. That included waving a magic wand and re-creating her childhood so she had a father there the entire time. One thing that became painfully clear when you were a parent was just how much love could hurt on occasion.
I set my tea down and rested my chin in my palm. “I know she does. He’s very good with her.”
Melanie, because she was crazy perceptive and knew me well, cocked her head to the side. “Are you wishing you’d somehow been able to create a father out of whole cloth for her?”
I rolled my eyes. “Maybe,” I said, realizing how ridiculous it was, even if it was the truth.
“You’re an amazing mother, and Quinn reflects that. You can’t change the fact her biological father wasn’t willing to step up.”
“I know. Speaking of her biological father, Quinn did actually have a phone call with him. I still don’t know how I feel about it. Honestly, we got so close to her being all grown up that I was kind of hoping I could just listen to her struggle to make her own decision if he ever reached out. Now, I feel like I need to manage it somehow.”
“Hon,” Melanie clucked. “Even if she was an adult, you would feel like you need to manage it. Trust me, I have two children, both of whom have been adults for many years, and both of whom I still worry about all the time. That’s something most people don’t fess up to. The worry doesn’t end when they grow up.” She cast me a rueful smile.
“I know. Funny thing, though. She wanted Noah there when she called her father.”
“Did she say why?”
“She said that if anything weird happened, she’d have him right there. She does kind of love that Noah’s an FBI agent. I don’t think her father is a threat, although, apparently, he does have a bit of a gambling problem. Why do you think she wanted Noah there?”
“I think you’re right, but also, he won’t have the kind of reaction you might if it didn’t go well. Obviously, he cares about her. I don’t mean to imply he doesn’t. But you’ve been with her since before she was born. This is justwaymore for you emotionally as it is for her. Sometimes when something is really loaded, it’s nice to have someone who is less deeply entwined in the issue there. If that makes any sense.”
“That’s pretty much what Noah thought,” I said to her.
Her eyes twinkled. “I did tell you he was a smart man.”
I laughed and took another sip of tea. “You did. It still feels like it’s happening really fast.”
“Maybe, maybe not. Look, I’m sure you can find some kind of self-help, or perhaps some research, telling you the right pace for a relationship. Anecdotally speaking, I don’t think that’s the question for you to answer. I’ve known people who took things slowly and divorced within a year of getting married. I’ve known people who took things slowly and were miserable the whole time and got married anyway and stayed married and miserable. On the other hand, I’ve known people who did things on a lark, and it worked out great. Life throws so many variables at us all the time. Add in another person, and there’s another variable to deal with.” She paused, her eyes measuring me. “I’d suggest that perhaps you keep pointing out it seems like it’s going fast because that gives you something as an excuse and something to hang your fear on.”
“I’m not afraid,” I sputtered.
My old friend pursed her lips as she eyed me steadily.
“Oh, okay, fine. Maybe I am a little afraid. It’s just it would break Quinn’s heart if it didn’t work out now.”
“Quinn is very resilient,” Melanie replied smoothly. “I don’t think Noah is going to do anything reckless or stupid.”
“Well, maybe he’s being reckless by getting involved with me so quickly.”
A low laugh rustled in Melanie’s throat. “Perhaps, but I don’t think so.”
There was a light knock on Melanie’s door, and we both glanced over to see it swinging open. Quinn poked her head around the door. “Mom, can I make some popcorn?”
I glanced at my watch and back at her. “Sure, but it’s an hour before bedtime.”
“I know.” She blew a kiss to Melanie and then disappeared, calling, “Thanks, Mom!” just as the door closed behind her.
