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Pink crested higher on her cheeks, her flush deepening when she bit the corner of her lip. Fuck me. I was already in bad enough shape. As it was, my zipper was going to permanently imprint on my cock if I had to tolerate much more of this.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“Just that. I get it. Maybe I didn't notice you in high school, and maybe other guys didn't notice you in high school, but high school is weird. You kept to yourself. You're brilliant, and you're a professor now, so that's probably a little intimidating to some men. That’s no excuse because men can be total idiots. You also hold yourself back. I can guarantee that. When's the last time you dated someone?”
Jane’s eyes widened slightly, and regrettably, she released her bottom lip. Then she slid her tongue across it again as if to smooth over where she'd been worrying it with her teeth. I needed to kiss it. That would make it all better.
She shrugged lightly. “Sometime last year.”
I could practically see her brain clicking into gear. Her gaze turned assessing, and I felt her pulse lunge on the inside of her wrist. I waited. I was good at waiting people out.
“I have a proposition,” she said, her voice a little raspy.
“Oh, this ought to be good. A proposition?”
She nodded. Her blush deepened. She was wearing this silky camisole with a soft cashmere sweater that buttoned a little low. I could see the shadowed valley between her breasts, and the teasing hint of her curves. I wanted to peel that sweater apart to see all of her.
“You're probably going to think I'm crazy.”
I shrugged. “I doubt it. Aren't we all a little crazy?”
Her lashes swept down, and I watched as her shoulders rose and fell with a deep, shuddering breath. When she opened her eyes again, she lifted her chin slightly and squared her shoulders. “I need a favor.”
“Anything.”
“I'm a virgin, and I would prefer not to be because it makes things awkward for dating. People take it seriously, like it's this big deal. It's not to me, but I'd rather not worry about it. It seems like it would be sensible to deal with it with someone I know. We're here for a couple of weeks. Just once, and then you'll probably never see me again after this. It won't be complicated.”
So much for finding my balance in this interaction. I felt as if Jane had kicked my feet out from under me, and I'd fallen to my knees. All I could do was stare at her. I didn't even realize my mouth had fallen open until she said, “You can close your mouth. It's not that weird. I'm not that old. See? This reaction of yours is exactly why it's a problem. Guys freak out. I know some guys are really into that whole first thing, but I’m not up for being someone’s trophy like that. I don't even want to have this conversation anymore because you look all shocked.” She waved dismissively at me.
I felt caught in two opposing riptides. My need for Jane had just exploded. I'd never cared one way or another about someone's level of experience, but the idea that I could be her first? Holy hell.
The other riptide was no fucking way. This was my sister's friend. There was a reason I had carefully ignored all of Thea’s friends in high school. There were blurred boundaries and complications, all kinds of things I just didn't want to deal with. My life was stressful enough right now.
It wasn't even possible to contemplate getting into a relationship, not to mention that I hadn't ever been interested in a relationship. Even though that wasn't what Jane was asking, there was no way I could just use her like that. While I sat there scrambling to find my footing again, Jane let out a sigh and tugged her hand away from mine.
“You're freaking out. I bet you're thinking you don't want to use me, or it should be someone else. I don't want anything serious, but I also don't want it to be some guy from a dating app who gets off on the whole virgin thing.” She released an annoyed sigh, her lips pressed in a peevish line. She leaned back in her chair and drummed her fingertips on the table.
“Could you speak?” she prompted dryly.
“Jane, that’s—”
She circled her hand in the air when I couldn't get past those words. I didn't even know what to say.
“I don't think that's a good idea,” I finally said.
“Why?” Her tone was sharp.
“Because you’re Thea’s friend.”
She rolled her eyes. “I'm almost thirty years old. It's not like I'm some high school girl. I knew I shouldn't have said anything.” She narrowed her eyes and actually pointed her finger toward me. “Don't you dare tell anyone what I just told you. Thea doesn't know.”
“Of course not. I wouldn’t say anything to anyone even if you hadn’t asked.”
“Back in college when I should’ve been dating and just having fun, I was focused on other things. Now, it's turned into this, well, thisthing. I just want to deal with it. Maybe look at it like a project, like I need you to help me fix something on my car.”
I ran a hand through my hair, more frazzled than I wanted to admit. “You're not fixing a car or putting in a new window. You're a person. I can't…” I ran my hand through my hair again, giving up on trying to find my way out of this conversation. I finally shrugged. “I don't know how to explain it.”
For a split second, I could’ve sworn I saw hurt flickering in her eyes, but she looked away, lifting her water glass and taking a swallow. “Fine, but now you see my point.”
