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I want freedom. I want risk. I want excitement. I want my own life.
I pick up my bouquet, and then I take my father’s arm, and he leads me out of the small dressing room toward the back of the church, where I see River is standing, waiting to proceed. She’s wearing a simple red dress that hugs her curves and shows off the slightest baby bump. She looks radiant and beautiful, but I know beneath the waves of fabric are guns, knives, and all sorts of weapons she will use without hesitation on anyone that threatens me or her baby.
I smile at her, reassuring her I’m okay, and she doesn’t need to worry about me.
She looks at me a second longer, concern written on her face, but then Vincent’s men open the back doors, and she starts walking down the aisle. We give her a moment to walk, and then Vincent leads me to the doors, where we start walking down the long aisle together.
I thought every step would feel like immense dread—like I was walking to my own funeral instead of my wedding. I thought it would take immense effort to take each step toward Lennox.
Instead, it’s easy—far too easy.
I don’t look at Lennox or the others at the end of the aisle at first. My thoughts are back in the basement where I saw Lennox fulfill the blood oath.
I heard the voices from downstairs when I was getting ready with River. She tried to stop me from going down there, but I had to know. I had to see what Lennox vowed.
I both saw enough and didn’t see enough. I don’t know the exact vows or the deal he struck with my father, but I saw the determination, the power, and the heavy heart Lennox used to take a life.
He didn’t take it easily. He showed the respect a life is owed, but he also wasn’t afraid to do what needed to be done. He did the task and took the pain, the guilt, and the burden on himself. I know he will carry that death with him as he does every other death caused by his own hand.
When Lennox spotted me, I saw his heart being crushed. It was only a flicker, but it was enough that I saw. He isn’t heartless or cruel like my father is when he kills. He hated that I saw that part of him. It’s the part he does because it’s the job, but he takes no real pleasure in it.
I gasped at the sight of watching a man die. It isn’t the first time I’ve seen someone die, and it won’t be the last, but it’s still shocking every time it happens. It makes me think I’m not cut out for this world.
Suddenly, we are at the end of the aisle.
I haven’t looked up. I haven’t really registered the others until this moment. I noticed River standing as my maid of honor with far too happy of an expression on her face. She is blissfully happy about becoming a mom, and she thinks my marrying Lennox is for the best. But I’m going to give her hell later for looking so happy on a day that feels somber to me.
And then I look at the three guys standing behind Lennox. Hayes, then Gage, then Beckett—all of them looking sharp in their black tuxes. Hayes gives me a wink, while the others look on more solemnly. I appreciate the seriousness, but it’s Hayes’ wink that almost gets me to smile.Damn him.
And then I look at Lennox. He’s wearing the same tux as the others, but somehow standing here like this, he seems to tower over the others in both size and attractiveness. The tux fits him perfectly, and his muscles bulge around the biceps. His hair is swept to one side, and his tattoos creep up his neck and arms in a sexy tease. His expression is mostly unreadable, like he’s waiting in line at a bank—slightly bored and unfeeling. But on closer inspection, I see more. I see the ways his pupils flick over mine, searching to see how I feel. I see his breath leave his body as he truly takes in my body up close.
Everyone assumed I’d want a princess ballgown dress. Maybe the old me would have chosen such a dress, but the new me—the one who is determined to take fate into her own hands and not be a damsel in distress—wanted something sexy and grown up. I chose a mermaid-style dress with a high neckline in front and low-cut in the back. It’s a simple dress with very few embellishments, but it hugs all of my curves and makes me feel elegant and sexy, which is what I wanted.
Now with Lennox’s all-intensive gaze on me, I’m pretty sure I should have worn a potato sack.
I blush, hoping the others don’t notice my reaction to his gaze. The little lift in Lennox’s lip tells me he notices, and he still thinks he’s going to win that stupid bet of ours.
He can be as hot and flirtatious, and gorgeous as he wants. He could shower me with compliments. He could bribe me with gifts. It won’t matter. I’m in love with Kit. And even if I wasn’t in love with Kit, I could still figure out a way to ignore Lennox’s advances.
He gives me the slightest shake of the head combined with a soft smirk that says he’s going to enjoy our challenge. But then his mischievous eyes grow serious again as he holds out his hand to me.
This is the moment when I accept my fate. This is the moment where I decide to become his wife or run. This is my last chance to back out.
And looking at Lennox and the others, I’m pretty sure if I decided to run, they’d do everything within their power to help me. But it wouldn’t be enough. This would still eventually be the outcome. My father won’t let it be any other way. He’s far too afraid of me living on my own. He’s afraid I’ll die. And the most important thing to him is that I stay alive, and the Corsi name continues on.
I want to stay alive—so I’ll trust his decision in Lennox keeping me alive. But I won’t continue the Corsi line.It ends with me.
I take Lennox’s hand without hesitation. And I can feel everyone smiling at my decision, everyone except Lennox.
Lennox looks terrified. Apparently, he didn’t think this would really happen until now.
He cocks his head to his side, and I realize maybe he’s reacting to my own expression, but I feel nothing but content with my decision. This feels like my decision.
‘You okay?’ Lennox mouths as he takes my other hand after I hand my bouquet to River.
I narrow my eyes, not sure why he’s asking me that question. Then I see his pained stare. He’s not concerned that I might be upset about marrying him. He’s concerned about what I witnessed in the basement.
I nod.
