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EMALEE BLEW HER NOSE, took a deep breath, and did her best to finally pull herself together.

She couldn’t afford to sit here and mope because it was dinner time soon, and then each of the children’s respective bedtimes.

While Em wasn’t expected to cook for them - there was a chef who came in early in the morning and made all the meals for the day - it fell on her to get them ready for dinner and serve up. She also liked to check in on them once they were settled for the night, even though their father’s made a point of performing each of their bedtime routines whenever work didn’t interfere. That was their personal, private time.

Right now, though, it was ‘free time’. The men were all about fostering independence, so the children were allowed ninety minutes unattended to do whatever they liked. The boys had the run of the playroom, which led out to an enclosed play area, and the family room where they could watch TV. And Kira, since she was old enough, had free roam of the house, with the exception of the private rooms..

Checking her watch, Emalee realized that time was almost at an end, so she dug out her phone and dialed her parents’ number.

“Hey Emie, how are you doing sweetie?” Her father’s booming voice immediately comforted her. At least they’d be genuinely thrilled to have her at home this year.

Emalee wasn’t an only child, but her much older brother, Terry and his wife, Gail, were having well known marriage difficulties, so he’d already told their parents he and his family wouldn’t be visiting for the holidays this year, while they tried to sort things out.

“Hey daddy, I’m good. How are you and mama?” She worked her hardest to keep her voice from breaking, when the last thing she really felt was ‘good’, but she didn’t want to worry them.

“Well, we’ve got some exciting news, that’s for sure.” Joe Timber chuckled. “But I’ll let your mother tell you all about it, or she’ll have my guts for garters for stealing her fire. She’s here now.”

“Emie, darling, what a nice surprise. We don’t usually hear from you mid-week,” her mother, Maureen, chattered.

A creature of habit, Emalee nearly always rang her parents at the same time on a Sunday evening.

“Oh, yeah. I was just ringing about Christmas...”

Em didn’t have a chance to say any more before her mother cut in. “Oh, did your dad tell you our special news?”

There was a muffle of words between them, when Maureen was obviously asking her husband if he’d said anything, then her mother came back on the line. “Guess what? We’re taking a Christmas cruise! It’s going to be so much fun. We’ve never considered it before since Terry and the family always spend Christmas with us, but since it was just going to be me and your father this year, we decided to treat ourselves. Which reminds me, we’re leaving on December 16thso don’t send out anything to be delivered after the 15th...”

Her mother’s excitement was palpable as she delivered the litany of information that struck another blow to Emalee’s already battered heart.

Thankfully, her mother also didn’t seem to require any kind of response, because Maureen just laughed her familiar, tinkling laugh, and continued. “But silly me, that’s surely why you’re ringing isn’t it? You check every year we’ll be at home for your delivery. When are you planning it for? I should have mentioned the trip sooner. I hope you can change it if you’ve already scheduled it after the 15th...”

“Mum, it’s fine,” Emalee interrupted, even though she was on the verge of tears again and needed to avoid another meltdown, “Don’t worry. I’ll sort out the delivery, you just relax and enjoy your trip, you deserve it. I want to hear all about it. When you get back.”

Maureen’s laugh came trilling through the phone line again. “You can be sure your father will have a blow-by-blow photographic documentary of absolutely everything we do.”

“Great. Sorry I have to fly now, but it’s almost dinner time.” Emalee made her excuses and hurried to get off the phone before she was overcome by another bout of sobbing.

“WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOUR face?” Axel asked in that forthright manner all five-year-olds seemed to possess.

Emalee pasted on a smile and guided the beautiful tow-headed boy to the sink to wash his hands. “Nothing’s wrong with my face. Everything is just fine,” she told him, checking the water from the spigot wasn’t too hot.

“Why are your eyes red, then?” his twin asked, eying her with childish curiosity.

“Emie sad?” Nicky piped up in his disjointed toddler speak.

Emalee turned to grab a hand towel so they couldn’t see her face as tears pricked her eyes, yet again, at their innocent questions.

“Emie is absolutely fine,” she reiterated, forcing cheer into her voice. “Honestly, there’s nothing for you to worry about.”

That much was true at least.

She leaned down to help Nicky dry his hands but when she stood back up her gaze clashed with Kira’s narrow eyed stare.

Em whirled away from the eleven-year-olds far too knowing look. If she was honest with herself, Em was surprised Kira wasn’t giving her a much harder time.

“Right, come on, let’s go down for dinner. Your dad’s will be wondering where we’ve got to.”

It wasn’t strictly true. The guys were all amazingly easy going, considering their time constraints, but Em was always considerate of their schedules. All three of them planned work around their time with their children, and Em did her best not to impinge upon it.

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