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“With lights and streamers and snowflakes.”
“Exactly. She…” I trail off, a huge wave of grief rushing over me. I swallow hard. “She was always so good at making Christmas special for us. It was the best time of year.”
“Moms are good at Christmas.” He meets my gaze. “But it sounds like your mom was really good at it.”
“I… I sometimes wonder if it would have been better or worse if we’d known last Christmas was going to be our last Christmas.” I clear my throat to keep a lump from forming, though it desperately wants to. “Would I have made more of a point to savor every moment? Would I have appreciated it more?”
“Or would you have been too sad or so focused on memorizing everything that you didn’t give yourself the freedom to be in the moment to enjoy it?”
“Is that what happened to you?”
He nods, clenching his jaw twice. “It was… hard. I tried so hard to make everything perfect for her. The way she used to always make it so perfect for me. But the more I tried..."
He stares back down at the desk.
“Maybe it is for the best we didn’t know then.” My bottom lip quivers and I catch it with my upper lip. I give myself a moment to maintain my composure. “Our last Christmas was just like all the others. Happy. Loud. More than a little over the top.”
He chuckles lightly at that. “It sounds like fun.”
“It was. Mom always made Christmas fun. I only wish…”
I have to stop myself again because the risk of tears is just too strong.
Jonas clears his throat. “I understand.”
Suddenly I feel oddly naked. More than naked. If I was naked, Jonas would only have removed the layers of my clothing. Stripping me bare for his eyes to feast upon.
That’s a thought that makes my cheeks flush and need pools between my thighs.
But that’s not the layer he’s pulled away. Somehow, he’s managed to take off the cheerful and outgoing mask I wear like armor. He’s found the root of the grief I’ve been carrying with me for the past six months. He’s found the fears I have for the future.
He’s left me emotionally naked and vulnerable. He knows the deepest secrets of my past and future. Truths only my sisters know.
The bell ringer’s words come to mind.You’re so caught up in the memories of your past and your plans for the future. Have you ever tried being more present?
That advice has never seemed more prudent than now. For tonight, I’d like to forget everything that’s weighing me down. Surely there’s something we can do to keep ourselves occupied in the present.
Throwing myself at him and shoving my tongue down his throat while my hands explore every inch of his rock-hard body would be one way to accomplish that task. I smirk to myself. Tempting as that would be—and believe me, I’ve never been so tempted—I’m not sure I can stop worrying about the future to take that step. It would change our workplace dynamics.
They’re already changed, a voice whispers.
I shake it off and glance around Mr. Noble’s office looking for something that can keep my thoughts focused on less serious things while we’re stuck here.
“Anyway.” I take a deep breath in quickly and let it out. “What’s your favorite Christmas candy?”
He groans, but by the time we finish making our signs and hanging them up in the window, we’ve fallen into an easy enough conversation, each of us learning more about the other.
We stand back to admire our work. I turn to look at Jonas. “I suppose there’s only one thing left for us to do.”
He arches an eyebrow and the butterflies in my belly flutter. “What’s that?”
I reach for the pile of printer paper and pluck the scissors out of a mug on Mr. Noble’s desk. “We find out which one of us is the best at making snowflakes.”
SIX
JONAS
“How did I let you talk me into doing this?” I grumble as I awkwardly pick up a pair of sewing scissors from a kit in my dad’s desk.
