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“Look at me,” I said.
He wouldn’t.
“Look. At. Me.”
When he lifted his head, I knew it was over. He’d pulled away completely. We had made love, but he was running from it. Running from us. I didn’t want to be with someone who was going to run. I deserved to be with someone who was proud to be with me, not afraid or ashamed.
“You’re being a coward,” I spat.
“This wasn’t real,” he shouted. “I made a mistake sleeping with you and giving you mixed signals. It wasn’t supposed to go this far. It was supposed to be fake.”
The words lashed across me like a whip, and it felt like my entire world shattered before my eyes. I pushed back my chair and walked out. Rebecca ran after me but didn’t say a word. We put our shoes on in silence and left. Once I got into the car, the tears fell.
How could I have been so stupid?
“IT WAS ALL FAKE? Why?” Rebecca asked.
“Originally, we agreed to pretend to be in a relationship in front of our parents, but when we were at the gala, Sid blurted out that we were engaged, and the whole thing spiraled from there.”
I took a sip of wine and wiped a tear away. After I moved in with Sid, Laney rented out the studio to Faith. Which meant I was homeless. Rebecca said I could take the guest room again, so we moved everything except the heavy furniture. I was emotionally and physically drained, but I needed to talk with Rebecca. There were things she needed to know.
“I don’t understand why you couldn’t tell me the truth,” she said.
“Mom and Dad brainwashed you. I couldn’t risk you telling them. And it affected Sid too. His mom was trying to marry him off, and he wanted her to back off. If I spilled the beans about us, it would have ruined it for him too.”
“So, you lied to everyone until it wasn’t a lie anymore.”
I nodded.
“You fell for him,” she said.
“Yeah.”
I still didn’t understand where things went wrong, and talking about it again brought a fresh wave of tears.
“I feel like such a fool.”
“No one thinks that, Kat. He looks bad too,” Rebecca said.
“That’s not what I’m talking about. This isn’t the first time this has happened to me.”
“What do you mean?”
This conversation was overdue. She deserved to know the truth about what had brought me to Oak Springs two years ago. I needed to tell her why I hadn’t been able to keep up with rent in New York and what I was really doing when she thought I was partying. I would be lucky if she didn’t kick me out too.
I took a deep breath and let it all out. When I was done, I collapsed back against the couch, utterly exhausted. The silence was deafening. I glanced at Rebecca. She was sitting stock-still.
“Wow. I don’t know what to say. I’m hurt that you didn’t tell me when you first got here. I’m shocked that you were living a double life right under my nose, and I’m angry that we had to get roommates because you were paying for someone else.”
“You have every right to feel all of those things. And I can understand if you want to kick me out too.”
She stood. “I’m not going to kick you out, Kat. You’ve changed. You’re not that girl anymore. You made some mistakes—yes, they were huge—but I think you learned from them.”
“Obviously not. I made the same mistake with Sid.”
“I disagree. And the Sid situation aside, you’ve changed in other ways too. You’re honest and happy. You were always bubbly and spontaneous, but you’re responsible here. I’m so proud of who you’ve become.”
More tears fell. At this rate, my eyes would be as dry as the Sahara by morning. “Thank you.”
