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“I won’t deny, you definitely did some damage to Wilder if those marks he left on your neck the other day are anything to go by, but I wouldn’t be so hard on yourself. You were young, and from the sounds of it, you hadn’t known Wilder all that long. As someone who thought he was destined to marry his high school sweetheart, let me tell you, life has a seriously fucked up way of messing with you, and if you cling to the ifs and buts, you’ll never move forward. Hindsight and regret are bitches. What happened, happened. What’s important is what you are going to do now that you’re back in each other’s lives.”
Slotting away that little tidbit of information to mull over at a later date, I shake my head, disagreeing with him. “He hates me, and I can’t say I blame him. Besides, I’m only here for as long as there’s some psycho out there searching for me. Once you’ve caught him, I go back to my life.”
“Is that what you genuinely want?” he questions, staring at me with a far too knowing look for my liking.
“I have an apartment, a job, alifewaiting for me.”
“Jobs and apartments come and go. You need to ask yourself if you were truly happy with the life you had, ‘cause it sounds to me like you have a lot of regrets.” He holds up his hands in a defensive gesture when he sees the protest written all over my face. “All I’m saying is, this could be your one chance to correct old wrongs. Your opportunity to mend bridges with Wilder and maybe even Hawk.”
I laugh humorlessly. “I don’t have anything to worry about when it comes to Hawk. He’s pissed because of Wilder, not because of anything I did to him. At least with him, we were on the same page. Unlike Wilder, he knew there was a time limit onus. There were no feelings there, just sex.”
There's a sharp pinch in my chest at the lie that flows seamlessly from my lips. Well, half-lie. Hawk may not have developed feelings, but I can admit to myself that I was definitely starting to fall for him. Standing on the sidelines and watching him step up to become the brother Hadley needed, how could I not develop feelings? It made it more painful to walk away, but I was equally aware that what we had was transitory.
Nothing and no one was going to stop me from going to Halston, and Hawk had his newfound family. Besides, I’m not convinced there’s even a future between us. Hawk and I are like chalk and cheese—total opposites. He’d piss me off, or I’d irritate him into leaving.
No, despite the chemistry between us and those old feelings I had for him that makes it painful to look him in the eye now, there’s nothing concrete between us. Nothing that could withstand the test of time.
“Regardless, this blip in your life plan could be a blessing in disguise. It sounds to me like you haven’t been able to fully accept the decision you made four years ago. I just don’t want to see you repeat that. If I were you, I’d make sure I’m absolutely certain before I walk away this time, because you might not get another chance to come back.”
We lapse into silence while we each sip on our wine and his words play on repeat in my mind. There’s much wisdom in what he’s saying, however, considering that neither man can even bear to be under the same roof as me, never mind in the same room, I’m not sure how feasible an idea that is.
“Well, now that you know all about my sordid past, what are your dark, dirty secrets, Kai?”
He chuckles, emptying his glass before giving me an evasive answer. “I think we’ll leave my past for a different day.”
My curiosity is piqued, but it’s obvious he doesn’t want to discuss whatever happened in his past. Before either of us can change the topic, there’s the sound of the front door opening before it slams shut, and a moment later, Hawk enters the kitchen.
He pauses in the doorway, cocking a brow. “How cozy,” he drawls, before continuing into the room. “By all means, make yourself at home.”
“Figured someone should, since you two have been playing frat boys all week,” Kai retorts. “Or were you too busy avoiding confronting your past?”
I kick Kai under the table as Hawk glowers at him before leveling me with an ice-cold glare that makes me feel like I’m two feet tall and completely insignificant. Except, hehasbeen avoiding the house all week, and if it’s not his usual M.O. to spend the week at the frat house, then what other reason could he have for staying away other than me?
“What is there to confront?” Hawk questions, his eyes never once leaving mine. “An old fuck buddy who was so unmemorable that I can’t recall a single detail?”
Ouch.There’s no denying how much that stings, but I refuse to give him the satisfaction of knowing his barb hit the mark. Instead, I shove the hurt down and hold his steely gaze. “Not so unmemorable that it stopped you from coming back for seconds.”
“Only because there was no one else. A guy has needs, you know.”
The burn sears my skin, but I don’t let the pain show. I glower at him while he scowls at me with narrowed eyes until he spins on his heels and storms out of the kitchen. When we’re alone, Kai snorts. “What were you saying about you two not having any unfinished business?”
* * *
I’m havinga lazy morning in bed on Sunday—or more like avoiding Hawk and Wilder, who I heard banging around downstairs late last night—when my bedroom door bursts open, making me jump. A boxer-clad Kai rushes in, his face set into a hard mask that immediately has me tensing.
“What’s wrong?”
“A private number has been calling your phone non-stop the last few days. After what you said about the phone calls when you were out of town, I think it might be your stalker.” He shows me the phone screen, which is lit up with an incoming call.
“How did you get my phone? I thought I left it behind in my apartment.”
“I grabbed it before we left,” he rushes out, pushing the phone into my hand. “Answer it.”
I reach out to take it without the meaning of his words actually penetrating. “Wait. What?!”
“Answer it,” he urges, more insistent this time.
Swallowing nervously, I hold his gaze while I press the answer button and put the phone on speaker. I don’t say anything, instead waiting for the usual silence that would dominate these calls.
