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LOTTIE
As my luck would have it, Evie was thrilled to watch Lyla Nell for the evening.
Everett is working late, so I didn’t need to come up with an excuse as to where I was headed.
My phone chirps as my mother, Carlotta, Keelie, and I step out of the bathroom here at the Leeds Alley-Oops Bowl-O-Drome. And just my luck again, it’s a text message from Everett.
On my way home. Ready to try out some of those positions your mother suggested.
I’d laugh if it wasn’t so cringe-worthy. I know for a fact Everett feels the same way about my mother’s racy suggestions because he told me so himself when we spoke about it earlier. Although, I don’t think he’s kidding at the moment.
Mention my mother again in that capacity and our days of sleeping together may be numbered. I hit send.
I’m mostly teasing. Leave it to my mother to find a way to make sleeping with Essex Everett Baxter more than a little awkward.
He replies quickly. Duly noted. On the bright side, your sister was just released on a thirty thousand dollar bond. You’re welcome.
I have a feeling that not only did Everett get her that bond, he paid for it, too.
“What are you doing, Lot Lot?” Carlotta balks with nothing but that gray wreath of mourning sitting loosey-goosey on her noggin. “You heard the guy up front. No pictures.”
“I’m not taking pictures of any of the nudists that colonize this place. I’ve got great news. Charlie was just released on bail.”
Both Keelie and my mother cheer.
Carlotta shrugs it off, most likely because it’s happened before.
I take a moment to glance around at the Bowl-O-Drome. It’s dimly lit, save for the neon lights outlining the bowling lanes. The eighties rock music is a touch too loud, and there are more than a handful of men and women having a great time—sans a stitch of clothing.
I wasn’t feeling up to shedding my stitches all the way this evening, so, thankfully, my bestie swiped a few frilly aprons that cover our torsos and most of our behinds. It’s exactly what the waitstaff here happens to be wearing as well, and if anyone asks me to refresh their soda, you can bet your bare bottom dollar I’m going to do it.
These people may be without clothes, but they are certainly not without money. It turns out, the Bare Exam crowd is indeed a group of attorneys who have banded together due to their love of all things au naturel.
“I wasn’t taking pictures, I was just telling my husband that I may never sleep with him again,” I say, burying my phone in the front pocket of my apron before giving my mother a dirty look.
Carlotta laughs up a storm. “I bet you’ve spotted a few new prospects already.” She points at a group of men chatting in the nude as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “I’d tell you not to judge a book by its cover, but let’s face it, there’s no covering anything up around here. Whatcha see is whatcha get.”
“I don’t want to see anything,” I say. “It’s hard enough to keep my eyes where they belong. I’ll have to instate a rule as to not look at anyone below the chin.” But my peripheral vision is working against me overtime. “And everyone will see what they can get with the two of you,” I tell both her and my mother. “Are you sure you don’t want to wear an apron? I’ll go swipe a few more myself.”
“Oh, Lottie.” My mother flicks her wrist at me with a laugh. “You’re always so uptight. That’s the whole point of this club—to loosen up a little. By the way, it was very kind of Crane to extend the invite to a few of my friends when I asked.” Mom says friends with air quotes. “I didn’t want to say the word daughter. She might have found that a bit weird.”
“Not any weirder than giving your son-in-law advice in the bedroom,” I tell her. “And would you knock it off? You’re actually costing me some serious mojo when it comes to getting frisky.”
“You’re right, Miranda.” Carlotta nudges her. “She’s not only uptight, but she’s looking for someone to blame.”
“Oh, I’m used to it,” Mom says, patting her stomach—and dear Lord, it is taking all of my willpower not to look at her or Carlotta from the chin down.
I’d like to be able to sleep at night in general at this point, but with the swinging water balloons, the haunting hair that stands out like a sea urchin on the sand down below—that’s going to prove impossible.
“My girls blame me for just about everything that goes wrong in their lives,” my mother goes on. “I don’t know where I went wrong with them.”
“I’ll tell you where you went wrong,” Carlotta says while linking arms with my mother. “You forgot to drop them off at the Honey Hollow Fire Department before they could protest.”
The two of them share a riotous laugh, and Keelie chuckles right along with them.
“Keelie Nell Fisher,” I say.
“What?” She struggles to tame her laughter. “It’s funny. I’ve had thoughts of dropping Little Bear off at that place myself. Don’t tell me you’ve never fantasized about dropping Lyla Nell off in the middle of the night after she’s screamed her head off for five hours straight.”
