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“Fuck. I don’t want to like him,” Logan said.
“You don’t have to,” Quinn said.
And that was enough. For this moment, he was okay with that.
Logan took a shower when he got to Quinn’s house. He had his gym bag in the trunk of his car so he changed into a pair of basketball shorts and a T-shirt that he’d had in there. Quinn was on a conference call when he came out of the bathroom, so he just put on his headphones and went to sit on one of the loungers at the back of her house. He put on his sunglasses and tried to let the music distract him, but he couldn’t control his thoughts.
They kept returning to that moment when he’d learned that his mom wasn’t his mom. That he was a twin who had been given up by his biological mother moments after he was born. The one she didn’t want. But Juliette had wanted him. She’d loved him. Raised him with so much love that he knew he’d be able to forgive her for keeping her secret. But it would be down the road.
For as long as he could remember, everyone had made him feel loved. His parents, his siblings, his friends. His life had been full of people who cared about him, and he couldn’t help but wonder about Cora Williams, who had looked down at two babies and chose to get rid of him.
He’d never ask her. Hell, if he had his way, he’d never speak to her again. But that thought was there in the back of his mind.
He hadn’t realized his fists were clenched until Quinn sat next to him and lifted one of them, slowly prizing his fingers apart. She pulled his headphones out of his ears with her other hand.
“What are you thinking about?”
“I’m trying not to think of anything but it’s hard. I mean, why did Cora pick me to give away? Isn’t that stupid of me?” he asked. “I mean...until a few hours ago I didn’t even know she was my mom.”
“It’s not stupid,” Quinn said. “It’s natural to wonder that. Do you want to meet with her and talk to her?”
“No,” he said. “She’s nothing to me. If she hadn’t given me to my—to Juliette—she would have put me up for adoption. Who knows who I’d be...”
“I do,” Quinn said.
“You do?”
“Yes. You didn’t just turn into a super-competitive, driven man by mistake. You were born that way, Logan. Even Dare has said you were determined to be your father’s successor from a very young age.”
“That’s true. I guess there’s no arguing I’m a Bisset through and through.”
“There isn’t. Just think how much harder this news would have been—”
He stopped her by putting his fingers over her lips. “Don’t. I can’t even bear to think of that. I hate that these thoughts are circling around in my mind. Like I don’t know who I am anymore. When that’s the one thing I’ve never questioned.”
“I wish I could show you that you’re still the same man,” Quinn said.
“You can’t. I’m always going to know there is a part of me that’s a lie. You know I hate that the world knows it too,” Logan said.
“I do. But don’t think of it that way,” she said.
“How else should I view it?” he asked. “The board will have questions.”
“They might, but they know you’re not going to suddenly be less effective...unless you decide that you no longer want to be,” Quinn said. “This might not be what you want to hear, but perhaps you should look at this as a clean slate. As an opportunity to change the things you didn’t like about yourself.”
“Are you trying to tell me something?”
“Like what?”
“Is there something about me that’s unlikable?” He wondered what she’d say. He knew he was too driven, too competitive, too determined to prove himself. This news wasn’t suddenly going to make him less so. In fact, now he had more of a determination to make sure that no one questioned who he was.
“You know what I mean,” she said. “You had mentioned cutting Nick out of a deal, maybe you will take a different approach in the future.”
He doubted there would ever be a time when he and Nick weren’t adversaries. Nick had been pretty clear that he considered Tad Williams his father, and rightly so. Tad had raised him. The same way Juliette had raised Logan.
Neither of their parents had been bad to them. Well, he couldn’t speak for Nick, but from what he’d heard, Tad was an okay dad. “This is so complicated.”
“It is,” she said, shifting around to sit on his lap. He pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her.
