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“We’ll heal it,” I said.
I let go of her hand and shook my head, backing away. I couldn’t do this—I’d hurt her, I was bad for her.
“I have to go.”
“Don’t run, Erol,” she pleaded. “We’re all okay. A little worse for wear, but we can figure it out and try again. Just…stay.”
I shook my head and turned toward the door. Didn’t she get it? What if the next time, I did damage that couldn’t be healed? What if I killed someone? It was in my nature—it was at the core of who I was.
Cyrene would push me to do it, and I wouldn’t allow it.
Hazel saw a man running away, but that wasn’t what this was. I didn’t leave because I was too scared to keep trying. I left because I couldn’t afford to hurt the people I loved.
Not my mother and sister. Not Vanya and Zita. Not Hazel.
“Erol!” Hazel called after me.
I ignored her, opened the door, and left. I wasn’t running.
I had to protect them.
Even if it was from myself.
23
HAZEL
“Where are you going?” Mom called after me when I ran toward the door Erol had just exited.
“I’m not letting him get away this time!” I replied over my shoulder. “This isn’t over until it’s over!”
I ran down the hallways, my feet beating against the stone floors.
I started searching for Erol, poking my head into every room, until I remembered our bond. It would take forever to find him that way, but through our bond, I could sense where he was.
He was in our quarters. I hoped he wasn’t packing—he had to stop believing that we would all be better off without him.
“Erol,” I breathed, gasping when I ran into the room. “Don’t go.”
He spun around to face me. His hands balled into fists, his eyes were large, rolling around in his sockets like he was panicked.
“Why do you keep following me?” he demanded.
“I’m not letting you go like this,” I said. “We’re going to figure this out. I told you that before, and I meant it.”
“Don’t you get it?!” he cried out, and with his bellowing voice, a wave of his magic washed over me. It was dark and powerful, and I shivered with the fear it instilled in me. I pushed the fear away, but this power was a lot stronger than anything I’d felt from Erol before. “Didn’t you see the destruction? Hell, you were right here in the thick of it as a captive, you know exactly what I do and who I am! Stop looking for the good in me, Hazel. You’re seeing things youwantto see. You’re not seeing what’s real.”
I shook my head. “I don’t accept that. I have a gift, Erol. I can see what’s really there, underneath the façades and the masks and the acts. I see what’s at your core, and you’re not this man you believe you are.”
“I am!” he shouted, and with his words came yet another blast of magic. This time, it was so powerful, it nearly knocked me off my feet. I stumbled backward, scrambling to find my balance, and caught myself on a chair nearby.
“Don’t do this,” I said. “You can choose!”
Erol jammed his thumb and forefinger into his eyes. He shook his head and laughed bitterly. The laughter in this moment was out of place, worrisome.
“You really don’t understand. Why would you? You grew up in an easy life with light and magic and hope. You never had to fight the darkness one day in your life, and you think you can walk in here and tell me how I can get away from it? You have no idea what it takes.”
His speech was condescending, and my anger bubbled to the surface.
