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“You don’t know anything about it,” I snarled. She’d baited me. I wanted to ignore her, but it was hard to when she was in my head like that.
Well, it’s good riddance, if you ask me.
“I didn’t.”
That didn’t stop Cyrene from offering her opinion.
You would have lost so much if you’d decided to go through with it. Your power is one thing, but the rest of what you have? People fear you. They revere you. This is an entire kingdom set up to follow the darkness, and you wanted to throw all of that away. Falx is gone. He paved the way for you, and all you have to do now is step into his shoes and keep going. Palgia needs you.
I shook my head. “The kingdom doesn’t belong to me, and I won’t ever have it.”
Not if you give up so easily, but with your power, it won’t be a problem overthrowing the Fae King and taking back what you deserve. How many years did you serve Falx with no reward? This will be your reward.
My steps faltered. The magic was so thick around me, I could run my fingers through it like water. Would I be able to take on Rainier and take back Palgia to rule as I pleased?
He could keep Jasfin to himself, I didn’t even want what was his. I just wanted what was mine. Cyrene was right—I’d been under Falx’s thumb for so long, I deserved more for the centuries I’d sacrificed for him.
I like the way you think,Cyrene said, although she’d been the one to suggest the idea.You would be way better off running the kingdom the way you know how. You’ll never be able to take a wife and have the life you keep hoping for, and there’s nothing wrong with that. As soon as you accept it, you can move forward. You’ll never be good enough for Hazel, anyway.
Her words cut me like a knife, and I stopped. They took my breath away, and I gasped, pressing my hand against my chest. I would never be good enough for her. Cyrene was right. Hazel deserved so much more than the monster I was. She saw something in me that wasn’t there, and she could do better.
She had to find someone else—even if that meant I had to find a way to sever the mate bond.
Just thinking about it shot a pain through me like I’d been physically stabbed, and it was unbearable. I was no stranger to pain. I took a deep breath, and another, and another, trying to get through it.
I would never be good enough for Hazel.
The pain grew in my chest, and it felt like it would suffocate me. Knowing that I wouldn’t be enough—knowing it was true—hurt so badly, I’d never felt this kind of pain in my life. I couldn’t keep doing this to her. We had a mated bond, but she deserved to be free of me.
I reached for our bond and blocked it. I couldn’t break it, I didn’t know how, but I could push her far enough away that I wouldn’t hurt her again.
I let out a cry, and it ripped through the gardens. I let it all my pent-up magic loose, and it rocked across the castle grounds with a roar. I watched as the darkness obliterated everything that was good in its path, snuffing out the light.
Hazel’s gardens that she’d worked so hard on curled up, shriveled, and died before my eyes. The roses, in full bloom, dried, and the petals fell to the floor. The stems became brittle until they turned into powder. The white flowers that spread across the garden like snow became dry and ugly.
I watched as I destroyed all her hard work. A part of me ached for her, but I pushed it away. I wasn’t in control. I couldn’t afford to feel—it only made my life that much harder.
I had to accept that this was what I was—darkness, destruction, and death.
25
HAZEL
Iwalked back to the living room in a daze. When I opened the door, my mom and Zita sat together on one couch they’d pushed onto its feet. Agatha sat on the floor, and Marilla stood close to the fire. She’d pushed aside the broken coffee table, removing it from the fire so that it wouldn’t be a hazard.
“Are you okay?” Mom asked.
I nodded, but tears welled in my eyes, and I shook my head instead. I sank into the couch and covered my face with my hands, my shoulders shaking as I sobbed.
“I don’t know how things could have gotten so bad!” I cried. “I knew it would be hard, but I thought it was what he wanted. I thought our bond would be enough to bring him back to the light.”
Mom rubbed my back in circles.
“The darkness in him is a lot more powerful than the other Conjurites we helped,” she said softly. “He’s a lot more important to Cyrene. I should have known that it would be this difficult. I underestimated what it would take.”
The darkness swirled inside Erol. I felt it through our bond. He was so upset, so worked up, so filled with the ugliness that the dark magic provided. All I’d wanted to do was help him, to set the man I’d fallen in love with free.
I reached for Erol, tried to find him through our bond. Could I bring him back? Maybe if I reached for him, I could convince him that—
