AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“A little louder next time, Paige, I don’t think they heard you in Chula Vista,” I hissed. “And no, for the record, I’m not pregnant. Jeez.”
“Oh. Okay. Good. Dodged a bullet there. Phew,” Paige made a show of wiping sweat from her brow. “But then…what bad thing could possibly have happened? You don’t have any money to gamble away, and, I know you aren’t irresponsible enough to have some quickie wedding in the Elvis chapel…” Paige burst into giggles at the thought, and Fiona even joined in.
My stony face stopped their merriment cold.
“No….no way. Jillian, you didn’t?” Fiona clapped her hands to mouth in horror.
Paige’s face drained of all color. She let out one more nervous giggle before gulping her mocha, her eyes still wide over the lip of the cup.
“I did. I so, so did. I was drunk! So, so drunk! You shouldn’t have let me out of your sight!” I moaned, dropping my forehead to the table.
“Wow. I just…I’m speechless,” Paige said. “A little proud. But mostly…baffled. Bewildered. Bemused. God, you have me so messed up I’m talking like Fiona now. Just…what? I know you were drunk, but that’s so not like you. Even heartbroken and blitzed. You’re the normal one among us. I’m a mess, and Fiona is repressed as hell. You’re our only hope. Destined for the traditional big white wedding, and a picket fence, and the three perfect kids. How could you let it happen? I don’t get it…you, you barely knew Dean,” Paige stuttered, uncharacteristically frazzled.
I lifted my head an inch to meet my friend’s eyes. Half of her assertions were just plain crazy, but she wasn’t entirely wrong. I never would have jumped into marriage with just anyone. No matter how out of it I was. It was important to me; they did know me that well.
I blew out a sigh of breath. “Crap. Well. In the spirit of complete and total honesty…there’s one more thing I need to tell you.”
“Oh, good lord.” Paige said, dramatically fanning herself.
“I might need another drink for this.” Fiona added, her expression solemn.
“Our….marriage…” I started to say, flinching at the word yet again. “It wasn’t as entirely out of nowhere as it might seem. I never told you this before, but I had a crush on Dean first. And it wasn’t a small crush. I low-key stalked him for a month. He never said or did anything in return, though, and then I met Eric, but that crush hung on. The crazy part is, as I only just recently learned, Dean felt the same way the entire time. Vegas wasn’t so much about the two us discovering the feelings we suddenly developed for each other. It was about us both acknowledging the feelings we had been secretly harboring for each other for over a year.”
Paige and Fiona began talking over each other then, looking angry and hurt as they did. I tried to follow their remarks, but I was too tired to keep up. I got the general gist, though. They were pissed that I’d hid so many things from them, and for so long. Luckily, I was also heartbroken, so they couldn’t stay mad at me. It wasn’t allowed.
“We’ll discuss your issues with secrecy later, but first, we need to address the most pressing issue,” Fiona said. “I hate to say it, but I think everything you told us changes things.”
Paige nodded enthusiastically. “Believe it or not, I agree. Dean was in a really bad position, Jilly. He had the good sense to fall in love you with, which earns him some major brownie points with us, and all that time he had to watch you date his own brother. He also wanted you out of that horrifically bad relationship because he cared about you. And crush or not, you clearly had a blind spot when it came to Eric. Honestly, would you have listened to Dean if he had just told you what Eric was doing? And if you did, would you ever have given him a chance after he delivered that news?”
“I don’t think he went about it the right way, but she’s right,” Fiona added. “I think he was trying to do what he thought was best. And then, when you two got drunk together, and truly connected, he didn’t waste his chance. Not a second time, anyway. He locked it down before he could lose you. He’s a smart man.”
My mouth fell open. I couldn’t believe they were defending him. Praising him, even. “He knew about it for a long time. He let me go on like that, behaving like a lovesick idiot, and he said nothing. And then he let us get married, and asked for a shot at dating, all the while knowing that he’d lied to me and manipulated me. Good intentions or not, I can’t overlook that. I can’t. It’s a huge red flag, right?”
The girls looked at each other. And in a moment of bizarre synchronization, shrugged.
“Are you two serious right now? Yesterday you were offering to row him out into the ocean and leave him for the sharks.”
Fiona broke first. “Look. You have to talk to him to end the marriage anyway, right? Maybe let him tell his side of the story first. Something doesn’t feel right to me. Give him a chance.”
For the second time in two minutes, I was shocked into silence. I would have expected it from Paige. She was infamous for making terrible decisions. But level-headed, cautious Fiona…she would never encourage me to stay in any relationship that was less than stellar. What was going on with her?
Feeling more exhausted than ever, I rubbed my eyes. The caffeine was clearly not doing its job. “I don’t think I know anything at the moment. I’ll figure it out later.”
We allowed two minutes to mentally recharge before unceremoniously switching topics to Paige’s latest Tinder date catastrophe. I offered a word or two when I could, but mostly zoned out.
Their reactions to the truth of the saga of Dean and me had been unexpected and had given me a lot to think about.
CHAPTER14
Dean
“The more things change, the more they stay the same.” I muttered under my breath while half-heartedly smashing buttons on the console I held in my hands.
“Huh?” Zack was sitting on the edge of the couch, staring at my big screen TV as if it held the secrets of the universe.
“Nothing. Just talking to myself.”
Zack took advantage of a cut scene to look my way, pointedly arching one eyebrow.
