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Sorina moved closer in the water, looking up into the sky when she answered. “Why?”
“I’m curious. Are they together? Are they waiting for you back home in Romania?”
Sorina smirked, and I didn’t mention the accent, the way it disappeared when we were alone together, and appeared again the rare times I heard her speak in school. “I haven’t seen my mother in a long time.”
“Why haven’t you seen her? Did you have a fight?”
“Yes, and no. I haven’t seen her since I was sixteen.”
“That wasn’t that long ago.”
“But it was,” she said, and her voice was so faint, and so different for a moment. She sounded like the young girl she appeared to be. When she looked at me again, so close I could almost touch her, her voice changed. “Something bad happened. I had to leave. I’ve been taking care of myself since then.”
“What about your father?” I asked, kicking in the water, feeling a droplet hit my head. I didn’t notice Sorina was silent as I looked up into the sky. The moon was bright, a crescent blade in the night, and when I closed my eyes, more droplets hit me, splashing in the surrounding water. The pond had been cool, and my body felt tight, but the temperature dropped even more when the rain came down in earnest.
When I looked at Sorina, she dipped down below the surface, rising after a breath, pushing her red hair from her face. She looked up into the sky like something threatening was there, more than the rain. She swam to the shore, and I followed. She didn’t dress when her feet squished into the dirt surrounding the pond. She held her clothes to herself, casting glances at the sky and beyond, to where our homes were. When she started walking, I hurriedly pulled my clothes on, my skin resisting, covered in dirty water. She was nearly to the fence dividing the mangled field we’d walked through from the well-manicured baseball field.
She didn’t speak as we walked home in the rain, but the silence felt different from the silence we’d enjoyed as we walked the town. It didn’t feel like she had a coy secret she wanted to share with me. It felt like she was keeping a dark secret from the world.
I didn’t know if I wanted to know what it was.
* * *
Sorina’s bathroom had a clawfoot tub that sat beneath a large window overlooking the cemetery. I followed her in, curious and wanting, as she reached for the drawers beneath her sink and began searching for something. I was always astounded at how silent she could be. “What are we doing here?” I asked, running my hand on the edge of the tub.
“I’m going to give you a bath.” She said it slowly, letting me take in every uncomfortable word. When she turned, she had a lengthy silk scarf. She used it to tie her long red hair up. There was so much of it, and touching it was something I thought about in the mornings, as my dreams faded.
Again I hesitated, just as I had on the shore of the pond. It was one thing to swim in the dirty dark water with her, another to let her touch me this way.
“Do you want me to turn around?” she asked, and I knew she didn’t want to. Nakedness, and skin, it didn’t matter to her.
“Yes. I do.” I gave in to her request because I wanted her to take something from me. It’s all I knew.
Sorina turned around and looked into the hall, and I stared at her hair, her bony shoulders. When she heard me begin to undress she did the same, and I faltered for a moment, but picked up the pace, wanting to beat her. I stopped when I was in nothing but my boxers because the bathtub was empty. I didn’t want to stand around awkwardly with my dick in my hand again while she filled it. “The tub,” I started. “Should I fill the tub?”
She was naked when she turned to me. “Yes. Fill it. I’ll be back.” She left me and I wondered if she was even looking for anything.
After I turned the faucets, making sure the temperature was just right, scalding, I noticed there was a cart with glass bottles near the tub. I pulled the stopper from one and sniffed it. It smelled like lavender, and I poured some of the liquid into the hot water. The steam filled the room, and the mirrors offered no reflection.
When Sorina returned, I was naked, submerged in the water and bubbles. I looked away when I saw her small pink nipples. She had a small glass vial in her hands, and she set it on the cart before climbing into the tub behind me. Her tiny legs wrapped around me, and I had an urge to grab her knees, pull her forward. I wanted to feel her against me, every part that, from other women, felt like a weapon.
Sorina’s palms made contact with my back, and I let out a groan. Her thumbs pressed into the muscles at the base of my back, and there was a new scent in the air. Pungent and familiar.
“Do you want to leave here one day?”
“Yes.” I groaned, her hands hurt, but I needed it.
“Me too.”
“Why did you move here?” I asked as I closed my eyes.
“I came looking for something that’s mine. I can’t leave until I can get it back.”
“What is it?”
“Do you know the best way to kill a bird?”
“No.”
