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Severu:You’re keeping it?
Lira:Why wouldn’t I? This baby isn’t a bad thing. Did you want me to end the pregnancy?
Severu:No! That isn’t what I meant. This is why we need to talk in person. You can’t judge a person’s mood or emotions in a fucking text.
For the next half hour, I steadfastly ignore my ringing cell phone. I understand what Severu meant with the last message, and even though I don’t want to admit it, he’s right. I do some filing, copy a couple of contracts for new clients, and even have a cup of tea.
After retrieving my phone from my desk drawer, I open the text thread and send off three simple words.
Lira:Tonight. My place.
Oh, God. I hope I don’t regret this later.
****
My nerves are frayed as I wait not too patiently for Severu to finally show up at my apartment. I cleaned after I got home from work, wanting my little studio apartment to look its best, knowing that Severu is used to so much better. And even though I said I didn’t care what he thought of me, I have changed my outfit three times.
I settle on my favorite dark-blue skinny jeans and an oversized gray shirt. Sitting on the couch, I sip my tea, my gaze drawn to the crib I bought. The box is propped against the wall, waiting to be assembled. I was planning on doing it tonight, but it will have to wait until tomorrow.
A knock at my door has me tensing on the couch. Taking a deep breath, I wait a moment before opening the door. I don’t want to come across as eager to see him, even though I find that I am, and I need the extra seconds to steel myself for what is about to go down.
When I finally open the door, my breath freezes in my lungs. It’s easy to forget the effect someone has on you when you haven’t been around them for more than three months. Severu is as gorgeous today as he was the first time I laid eyes on him in Nocturn. His dark hair is a little longer than usual, hanging over his forehead, and dark stubble coats his strong jaw, but his obsidian eyes are still as sharp as ever.
I don’t say a word, only stand aside and open the door wider, allowing him access to my apartment. Severu doesn’t wait on me, instead striding in with a confidence that has also drawn me to him. His gaze sweeps the room before returning to me. We stare at other in silence for long moments, neither of us willing to be the first to speak.
“Let’s talk,” I say, moving past him to the couch I was sitting on before.
Severu doesn’t sit beside me, instead taking a seat in a single green chair I have across from the couch. His size takes up the entire space, making my studio feel so much smaller than it is. My cat, Mason, jumps into his lap and immediately starts purring. Three days after Severu left me alone in that field, I came home to Mason lounging on the couch. The relief at seeing him, the finality of what that meant, brought me to tears. It was the first night I spent crying over Severu Cammareri. But it hasn’t been the last.
“Lira,” Severu says softly, but I hold up a hand to halt him.
“We’re not here to rehash the past,” I say with more confidence than I’m feeling. “What’s past is past. We now have to figure out the future of our child.” My hand goes to my abdomen, drawing Severus’s gaze.
“Yes, that’s why we’re here,” he agrees.
“I will be keeping the baby.” I need him to understand that he won’t have a say in what I do with my body. “You need to decide if you want to be part of his or her life.”
“Do you think I’m the kind of man to just walk away from my child?” He seems to be angry at the thought. Is that because he doesn’t like me thinking that way of him or because he wants to be part of his child’s life?
“That’s the thing. I know exactly who you are and what you are capable of.” I tilt my head to the side, watching him closely. “I know you have true violence hidden just beneath the surface. I know that you love your family beyond measure. I know that you take care of those who can’t do it themselves. But this? This situation is something so outside of the scope of things I know that you need to tell me what is going on inside that head of yours.”
He nods before clasping his hands together. Then leans his forearms on his knees as he studies me closely. “Let me say what I came here to say.” He seems to be nervous but that isn’t an emotion I have ever seen him show. “I have a lot to get off my chest.”
“All right.”
“I fucked up. I’m not saying this because you’re pregnant. I’m saying it because it’s the truth.” For a moment, an emotion passes over his face, but I can’t place it.
“I overreacted when you told me you were a cop. I should have stopped and thought things through before I acted. You’ve never betrayed me even when you had the chance.”
“Severu—”
He stops me with a look. “I know you said you don’t want to talk about the past, but let me get through this.” He waits for me to nod before continuing. “I miss you. You are in my every thought, driving me up the fucking walls. I can’t even sleep in my bedroom because the memories of you are too strong.” He swallows.
A tear streaks down my cheek, and even though I want to blame it on the pregnancy hormones, my heart knows the truth. Since he got in that SUV and drove away, I have pined for him, dreamed of him, and wished he would come to me with the words I’m hearing right now.
“I want this baby,” Severu says softly. “But I want its mother too.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
