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The more they skated, the more at ease she became. He pulled her around and in a flicker of movements, he was able to swing her into a dip. His face hovered over hers, both of them breathing heavily. One of her hands had come around the back of his neck and the other gripped his shoulder.
“Not bad,” he said.
“I have a good teacher it seems.” Her voice had softened like the rest of her body. Whatever tension had been coursing through her veins was now gone. He might have been able to equate it with this small moment. Or it could have been the talk she had with Mathew. Either way, he wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth.
Somewhere nearby a skater toppled and skidded across the ice. Dianna blinked, their moment frozen in time shattered. She scrambled to get upright, then adjusted her coat. “Thanks for the lesson. Maybe I can return the favor one day and teach you how to draw something other than a stick-figure.”
The humor had returned to her features now, too. He grinned. “I’d like that.” Before she pulled away entirely, his hand reached out, snatching hers so he could pull her close. Their faces were inches apart and their warm, white breaths mingled between them. “I love you, Dianna.”
She blinked and a crease formed between her brows. “I know.”
“No. Ireallylove you. I need you to know that.”
Dianna placed her gloved palm against his cheek. “And I love you.”
Relief washed over him. “I think maybe it would be nice if we had some time one-on-one to discuss what this might mean for us. Our therapy sessions will be over next month and I—” His voice cracked as he recalled the very real apprehension he’d felt earlier today. “I’d like to figure out what options we have available.”
She dropped her hand and looked away—a clear indication she wasn’t expecting him to discuss this topic in the middle of the ice rink.
Tristan ducked his head and peered at her. “It’s important we figure out where we want to take this—how far we want to take this.”
“I’m not sure I’m ready for that.”
He wasn’t prepared for how much those words could slice through him like a hot steak knife through butter. “You’re not?”
She shot a look in his direction. “I thought I was… but then I realized a few things today that made me…I don’t know. How areyouready to discuss what I think you’re wanting to talk about?”
Another stab at his heart.
“I guess I know what I want because I’ve had it before—”
She met his gaze. “If you had it before and it turned out as bad as it did, then you can’t possibly believe that you want it again with me.”
“That’s not what I meant. I was in love before. It didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to. But I still want to find that feeling again. And I have. Withyou.”
“You can’t be sure. No one is. What if I turn out as bad as your ex? Have you considered that? What if Mathew doesn’t want me to be part of his life? I would never expect you to pick me over him. That would be ridiculous.”
He dragged a hand down his face. This wasn’t going the way he’d hoped. She was putting up walls faster than he would be able to get through them. He should have waited and just discussed these topics over dinner when she’d have enough time to let them sink in.
Maybe there was still a chance for that.
Tristan held up his hand. “Look, you don’t have to say anything now. I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize where our relationship is right now. Just agree to come to dinner with me tomorrow night. I’ll get a sitter, and it can just be the two of us. Then you can tell me what you think, and I can do the same.”
She snapped her mouth shut.
Good, he’d finally made the right choice. He’d been able to get her to consider his offer. Now he just had to figure out how to get through to her when they got to dinner. Luckily, he had an extra day to come up with a plan.
Not only that, but he’d have an extra day to discuss his plans with Mathew.
Dianna nodded. She scooted back from him, then glanced over in Mathew’s direction. “I’m suddenly not feeling very well. I think this is all a little overwhelming and I’m feeling anxious, so I need some time alone.”
He took a step toward her. She smiled, but it didn’t feel all that genuine. Dianna held up her hand and shook her head.
“I promise I’m fine. But I think maybe I need to go home and lay down for a little while.”
“Was it something I said?” He wasn’t sure, but he thought he’d witnessed her hesitate. She shifted, her arms folded across her stomach. “Of course not. I just need some time to resettle my stomach. Do you think you could tell Mathew I’m sorry for not staying longer? I’ll see him for our next session.” She turned and skated toward the entrance of the rink.
He watched her go, feeling like an absolute failure. The latent fear that insisted on rearing its angry head came back with a vengeance. He should have just let sleeping dogs lie. She wasn’t ready even though he knew he was. She was going to walk away from what they had because she didn’t care enough to stay.
