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‘I know. I felt just the same as you, but the counsellor sounded really nice on the phone. She said it’s actually a really good way to do it, because you feel like you’re all on a journey together, and you support each other along the way.’
‘If it was that good, there would be a waiting list, wouldn’t there? How come she had space for us?’
‘A couple dropped out.’
He studies me for a minute. ‘Because?’
I sigh. ‘Fine. It didn’t work out and they’re getting divorced, okay? That doesn’t mean the therapy doesn’t work. I tell you what. Let’s do five sessions, and if you completely hate it and we’re not getting anything from it, we won’t do any more after that. Deal?’
‘Two sessions.’
‘Four.’
‘Three.’
‘Four. We need to give it a decent chance.’
‘Fine,’ he concedes. ‘You have a deal.’
‘Thank you,’ I tell him. I know how much he really doesn’t want to do this, so it’s a good sign that he’s prepared to give it a go.
‘Actually, there is one more thing we need to talk about,’ I say to him.
‘What’s that?’
‘I had the most awful conversation with your mother.’
He buries his face in his hands. ‘I know. She told me about it. I’m mortified. If it’s any consolation, after she’d finished having a go at me for what I’d done, I gave her both barrels about what she said to you.’
‘It was horrible. She basically told me that you’d only married me for the money, and I wasn’t good enough for you. I’ve never had anyone make me feel like that before.’
‘It’s not true. You know that, don’t you?’
I sigh. ‘I don’t know what’s true and what isn’t any more, James.’
He grabs my hands fervently. ‘If you believe nothing else, you have to believe that what she said isn’t true. I never married you for your money. When we got married, I didn’t know that the farm was in a bad way. I married you because I loved you, pure and simple. All that stuff she spouted never even crossed my mind, I promise. You could have been penniless, and it wouldn’t have made any difference to the way I felt about you.’
‘It would have made a difference to how she felt about me, though. That’s the point. She made it very clear that she and your father only accepted me because of my father’s wealth.’
‘All I can do is apologise. I was just as shocked as you when she told me what she’d said.’
‘Did she tell you about her plan to produce an heir for the farm?’
‘No. What did she say?’
‘Basically, that you ought to be having sex with both Becky and me. If I’m not able to produce an heir, maybe Becky can.’
His head goes back into his hands. ‘Please tell me you’re joking.’
‘Nope. It does beg a question, though. I thought we weren’t going to tell her about the fertility thing. Why did you tell her, and why did you lead her to believe that it was me who was infertile?’
‘It just came up. She was banging on about wanting a grandchild, and I kind of lost patience slightly and said she might have to wait a while longer because we were having a bit of trouble. I was deliberately careful about how I phrased it, so her putting it down to you is just her jumping to conclusions.’
I eye him suspiciously. ‘Are you sure?’
‘Yes! Look, I didn’t want to tell her that I was infertile. It’s not the sort of thing you like to boast about, is it? But I was very careful not to make it seem like it was your issue either. I deliberately chose ‘we’ in every sentence.’
‘Well, I can tell you that your mum isn’t going to be on my BFF list any time soon. It was like being in the ring with a heavyweight boxer. You and Becky were the first punch and, before I’d even had a chance to register it, in she came with the second.’
