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Trevor hadn’t told me about the promotion, and I’m sure he was waiting for the right time to do it. I shouldn’t have looked through the paper that was on his table. It wasn’t mine, and it really wasn’t any of my business.
But, it was done now, and I now knew Trevor was contemplating moving to Texas.
It wasn’t the first time I’d heard of him moving onward and upward with his career. We had talked about it several times already. He had dreams, I knew that, but I guess there was a major part of me that felt like he could do those things right here.
He didn’t have to leave to be able to do what he wanted as a surgeon.
Then again, why not? Why not move to Texas and work in one of the largest medical communities in the country? It would only make sense for him to take the position being offered. What was there here that would keep him from it?
Me?
While I didn’t want to lose him, I couldn’t keep him here for me alone. That was far too much pressure on me to be able to keep him happy, and I didn’t want that. Not to mention the fact that we were still pretty early on in our dating relationship.
It had only been less than two months, and I didn’t know what I’d say if he asked me what I thought. My knee jerk reaction would be to tell him that I didn’t want him to go, and that he would be happy doing his practice here.
But that wasn’t realistic. Not to be sustainably happy. At least, I wouldn’t ever feel quite right about it if that was what he did. I wanted this to be his choice from beginning to end. If he wanted to go to Texas, then I hoped to God he would be able to go to Texas and make his dreams come true.
The fact of the matter was that my mom was here, and I wasn’t going to leave her in her late years. Especially with cancer. And the thought of her coming with us? I wouldn’t ever put that on her. Not with what she was dealing with health wise.
Even if she was in remission right now, she still had several more years before she would be considered as cancer free as someone who never had cancer in the first place, and I wasn’t going to ask her to pick up her life and move with me just because I was chasing after a guy I had fallen for.
Even if it was the guy she had pushed me onto a blind date with, it still didn’t seem right to ask her to do something like that.
Of course, I knew I was running in all different directions with this. I didn’t know if he was going to take it, and I didn’t know if he didn’t if I would be the reason. It would be a pretty good reason, sure, but I wouldn’t have any way of knowing what was truly going on unless he told me what he wanted.
I would make it clear if he asked me what I thought about it that I would tell him that I wanted him to make the decision on his own. I would put in my opinion, but I wasn’t going to ask him to do things one way or the other. I just wanted to have the answer.
There would be no rushing this, however, and all I could do was go along as though things were fine. Hoping for the best while preparing myself for the worst should he really decide to leave and we break up.
Raya was the one who took over the driving today. I normally drove when we were out shopping together, but she was already in the car coming to get me, so we might as well just stick with her driving.
She pulled up in front of my place, honking her horn as she did when we were in high school. I shook my head. There were some things about my friend that would never change, no matter how old we got, and I appreciated that about her. For as many things changed in life, there was something to be said for those things that stayed the same.
“You look like you got hit by a bus,” I said when I got into the car. “What happened?”
“Long night,” she said, a grin on her face but the makeup still smeared around her eyes. “I felt like I could get away with this being something of a smokey eye if I didn’t touch it. I know that’s terrible for my skin, but whatever. I’m sure I can’t do too much damage to it this young.”
“That’s the attitude that’s going to make you look like you’re eighty when you’re sixty,” I told her. “You ought to wash your face every morning and every night. And if you really want to keep your age in check, then you want to maintain a daily moisturizer as well. I’m telling you, it makes a world of difference.”
“How would you know? We’re the same age, and I don’t think I look any more wrinkled than you!” She laughed.
“That’s because right now we are in our twenties. You give it some time like you said, and when we are in our fifties, mark my words, you’re going to wish you kept up with my routine when you were still in your twenties,” I told her.
“Whatever. I doubt I’m going to be going out until two in the morning when I’m in my fifties, either. Of course, you never know. I might be that cool grandma that winds up being at the bar all the time, you know?” she asked.
“I don’t think that’s very cool when you reach grandma status, and besides, if you’re at the bar all the time, when are you going to have time raising kids?” I asked.
“Fair enough, but my point stands. I’m never going to be that boring old lady. I’m going to be a cool old lady with all the things,” she said.
“I can see it now. Especially since you don’t use proper skin care,” I teased. She slapped my arm and I laughed.
“I can’t help it,” I said. “You get so worked up over the littlest things like that. It’s hilarious to watch. You’re the one who brought it up anyway. Wash your face, and I don’t have to tell you about skincare.”
She gave me another look but changed the subject as she pulled into a drive through to get some coffee.
“I might be hungover, but it’s nothing some of the black go go juice can’t fix,” she said.
“You’re hilarious,” I told her. “I kind of wish I was there last night. Sounds like it was quite the good time.”
