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Her smile is forced. That’s okay because mine is nonexistent. My only consolation is that at least I’m not faking it. All three of my roommates are looking at us. They don’t know who she is. If they did, maybe they’d be a little hostile.
Riley’s the first to approach. Puts her hand out. You have just got to love this girl. She’s so friendly. Though right now, I wish she wasn’t.
“I’m Cassie’s roommate. Are you one of her friends from Boar Creek?”
Billie looks at her hand for a moment as if deliberating what to do, then she takes it and gives it a shake. “I’m not. I know her through Josh.”
Riley and Kara both swivel my way at this, maybe as if to see if it’s true. Cherise, not catching the undertow, has lost interest in the conversation. She’s drifted off to some dresses just out of earshot.
Billie turns her back on Kara and Riley. “Do you have a moment?”
“Sure.” I’m frozen. I don’t know what to say to this pregnant, pretty blonde. Very pregnant.
With a pointed look at Kara and Riley, Billie adds, “Privately?”
Kara looks at me as if she needs guidance. As if she’s waiting for one word from me to say something in my defense. She’s eager to take my back.
I give a slight shake of my head, calling Kara off, then turn to Billie. “Sure, let’s step outside.” I lead the way to the mall’s main area, outside of the little boutique Kara works in.
It’s deserted for the most part. Many shoppers have long gone, not sticking around for the last five minutes of retail shopping. The food court’s off to the left. Thinking she’ll want to have a civil conversation—probably about Josh—I head for the empty, unbussed and unwiped tables.
I pull out a chair and start to sit. She doesn’t.
“What I have to say won’t take that long.” She crosses her arms over her chest. Her eyes a chilly green. Long blond eyelashes are more like spikes that guard the green orbs.
Behind her, I see Kara and Riley watching us from the entrance.
Since she’s not going to sit, and I don’t want her looking down at me, something about that position makes me uncomfortable, I rise.
“Why don’t you let Josh get on with his life? Haven’t you destroyed enough?”
What the hell am I supposed to say to that? “I’m—”
“He deserves to be happy.”
Is that why Josh hasn’t contacted me? He doesn’t want it started back up? So his answer is this? To ignore me? What role does she have in his life? She’s carrying his child—right?—but yet he keeps sleeping with me? I feel like a homewrecker, though it was my home first.
“What’s Josh to you?” I ask this though her belly pretty much answers that, doesn’t it?
“Who do you think he turns to when he’s dealing with the pain of his father’s suicide?”
Suicide?
What?
I rub my face. Why wouldn’t he tell me?Is that why he looked so sad? “I think these are things that Josh should discuss with me.”
Her lips draw into a tight white line. A pulse beats in her temple and the tendons in her neck stand out. “So you’re willing to put yourself first, and risk hurting him for your pride? For your satisfaction?”
“I did not say that.” I sidestep, ready to leave her there.
She puts her hand on my arm. “You can’t do this to him again.”
I look down at her hand and contemplate what I want to do but don’t. The last thing I need is legal troubles. That would not go over too well with my academic career. It certainly wouldn’t go over with my mother. It would probably affirm what she thinks of me.
“Don’t do that.” I keep my voice low, firm, and completely drama-free.
She drops her hand slowly. “I can’t believe you’re willing to do this to Josh.”
