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She frowns. “I just thought we had grown closer and that we might be able to give this thing between us a chance.”
I sigh and look away for a moment. There isn't much I can say that's going to soften the blow or make either of us feel any better. As the kids her age say, we both "caught feelings." And unfortunately for us, there isn't much of anything either of us can do about it.
“You know why we can’t,” I reply. “I’m not saying I wouldn’t like it but it wouldn’t be fair to you, Jordan. Or me.”
“Shouldn’t I have some say in this?”
I give her a small smile. “Ordinarily, yes. But you have a lot of life to live yet. You’re just starting to put it all together and the last thing I want is to be an impediment to your path in life.”
“How do you know you wouldn’t enhance my life?”
Still holding her hand, I squeeze it tighter again then pull it to my lips and place a gentle kiss on her knuckles. She smiles weakly, her eyes shimmering with tears.
“I like to think that after you have a little more life and a little more experience, if we’re meant to be, we’ll find our way back to each other,” I say softly.
Truth be told, I don’t know if I believe any of that. I’ve never been a big proponent of fate or anything like that. I’m not big on mysticism. There’s part of me deep down that hopes it’s true and if it makes her feel better, I’ll say it. I just want her to feel all right by the time she leaves.
“Think so?” she asks.
“Absolutely.”
The low rumble of the buses pulling into the compound rattles the windows in the frames like an earthquake. Jordan grips my hand tightly, a look of pure sadness on her face. My smile is tight as I hold onto her hand.
“It’s time,” I say.
“I don’t want to go.”
“I don’t want you to go either, but you have to.”
She sighs. “Yeah. I know.”
We both slowly get to our feet and still holding hands, I walk her to the door. She turns and pulls me down into a tight embrace and a deep, long kiss filled with all the emotion in her young heart. It’s almost overwhelming. But I kiss her back just as hard, doing my best to convey how much I care for her too. We slowly part and she looks up at me, tears tracking down her smooth, pale cheeks. I reach up and rub them away with my thumb.
“Will you call me?” she asks. “Or… at least text me?”
“I will,” I tell her. “I promise.”
She turns to go but then turns back. “I love you,” she blurts out.
“I—I love you too, Jordan,” I reply.
My eyes widen in surprise, not just because I said it but because I find that I mean it. A smile crosses her lips, and I can’t help but see the glimmer of hope in her eyes. She stands up on her tiptoes again and plants a soft kiss on my cheek then turns and darts across the porch. I watch as she bounds down the stairs and across the yard toward the guest cabins.
Jordan stops at the edge of the building though and turns back to me one last time. She blows me a kiss and silently mouths the words, “I love you,” again. I smile and return the gesture. Her eyes linger on mine for just another second before she turns and disappears around the corner, gone from my sight and soon to be gone from the compound entirely.
And I don’t know that I’ve ever felt so lost and alone before in my life.
Epilogue
Six Months Later…
“Your analysisof the material was excellent, Ms. Hyde,” she says as she lays my paper down on my desk. “Insightful and very thought-provoking.”
“Thank you, Professor Hardin,” I reply with a smile.
“Brown noser.”
I turn to find my best friend, Amelia, grinning back at me. I shrug and stick my tongue out as I cast a haughty look at her.
