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“Somebody has to wreck the grading curve for all you peasants,” I say.
I met Amelia the first day of classes and we just clicked. We’ve been inseparable. I didn’t have a lot of real, true friends back in high school and it’s kind of nice to have a friend as close as we are. I still talk to Sara, my cabinmate from Forward Path, all the time. But she lives far away, and I don’t get to see her all that often. I still consider her a very good friend though—and she is the only person on the planet who knows about Micah and me.
Things have been pretty great since I got home from Micah’s camp. Things between me and my mom have never been better, and she is amazed at the turnaround in my attitude. Especially after I thanked her for sending me to Forward Path. And it’s not just because of Micah. The staff there really helped me understand myself better. They made me open my mind and find better ways to cope with the stresses and disappointments in life.
They helped me get in touch with myself, which has helped me in more ways than I can even begin to count. I think most importantly, they helped me find my focus, my passion, and outline my priorities. They helped me identify what was important to me and find ways to help me achieve those goals I’ve set for myself. Armed with the tools they gave me, I got myself into school right away and though I’ve not yet declared my major, I’ve started getting the basic classes I need to take out of the way. That will buy me a little time before I choose my path.
I’m already strongly leaning toward psychology as a major. The difference the staff at Forward Path made in my life is profound and something I’m grateful for. It’s something I think I want to pay forward. If I can help make the sort of difference in somebody else’s life the staff at Forward Path made in mine… it would be amazing. It’s one of those careers I would find fulfilling and satisfying on every level.
I sit back in my seat and sort of tune Professor Hardin out as she starts talking about the next book on our list—I've already read it. Twice. My thoughts about Forward Path naturally got me thinking about Micah. In the days and weeks that followed my leaving the camp, we texted and even had a couple of late-night phone calls. I never thought of myself as a phone sex kind of girl but the memory of the things we did together coupled with his deep, gruff voice telling me what he wanted to do was more than enough to get me off. It wasn’t as satisfying as the real thing, but I told myself it was better than nothing.
The texts and calls got less frequent as the days went by though. Now, I’m lucky to hear from him at all. He’ll shoot me a text every couple of weeks or so but he’s a busy man doing important work. I try to keep myself from taking it personally, but it’s hard. Knowing we both have feelings for each other—no, knowing we love each other—and not being able to be together is one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to deal with.
“Hey, are you all right?”
Amelia’s whispered voice pulls me out of my head and back to the moment. I look over and give her a small smile and a nod.
“Yeah, I’m good,” I reply. “Just thinking.”
“Yeah? What’s his name?”
I laugh softly. “Shut up. It’s not like that.”
“Okay, folks,” Professor Hardin calls. “That’s it for today. I’ll see you on Friday. Be sure you do the reading because we’re going to talk about it.”
That elicits a groan and some giggles from the class as we all get to our feet. I stuff my books and binder into my bag and then sling it over my shoulder. We walk out of the room and down the crowded hallway, weaving around the knots of students clustered around the corridor. We come to a junction and Amelia turns to me.
“Okay, I have to get to my next class,” Amelia says. “Meet you at the coffee house after that? Maybe we can grab some dinner?”
“That sounds good. I’ll see you then.”
“Good. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
She takes off down the cross-corridor and I walk straight on, stepping out of the building and into the dying light of the day. It’s still bright though and takes my eyes a minute to adjust. All the while, I hear whispered conversations going on around me and I look at the small groups of students huddled together. There’s an excited buzz in the air and when I look around, I see people looking at something behind me. I turn and feel my heart stutter in my chest. My throat dries up as my body breaks out in cold goosebumps.
I walk down the small flight of stairs, doing my best to catch my breath and slow my racing heart. It’s beating so loud, I can hear it in my ears and feel the veins in my neck pulsing. Standing at the bottom of the stairs is Micah Ballard. His frosty blue eyes are locked onto mine and he seems oblivious to the stares and whispered gasps and conversations going on around him. The kids in the quad are looking at him like he’s a rock star or something but he seems completely unaware of it. He seems to only have eyes for me.
I stop a couple of feet in front of him and look up. “Micah. Wh—what are you doing here?” I ask. “Do you have some business on campus or something?”
“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you, Jordan,” he replies. “You are in my every waking thought. You’re in my dreams. You’re everywhere.”
His words hit me like a punch to the gut and I can’t stop the wavering smile that crosses my lips. It’s everything I’ve wanted to hear from him since the day I left him standing in his cabin.
“Why haven’t you called? Or texted then?” I ask.
He reaches down and takes my hand in his, gently squeezing it. As he does, his face softens. His smile nearly stops my beating heart and I feel that familiar warmth blossom in my belly.
“I’ve wanted to,” he replies softly. “I’ve really wanted to. I just—I didn’t want to upset your life, Jordan. I didn’t want to be unfair to you.”
“It’s more unfair to ghost me like that, Micah.”
“It took me a minute, but I finally understood that. I finally got that,” he replies. “That’s why I’m here. I wanted to tell you, face to face and not over the phone, that I want you, Jordan. I want to be with you. Like you said back at the cabin that day, I want to give this thing between us a chance to grow. I want to see where we can go from here. Together.”
I shake my head. “Why didn’t you tell me this that day? Why now?”
“Because six months ago, I was afraid to tell you. I was just… I was afraid. What I feel for you scared me. I’ve never felt anything like this for anybody before and it terrified me,” he replies. “But in the six months since then, I’ve seen how empty and bland my life is without you. There’s just this gaping hole where you should be. Where I want you to be. I want you, Jordan.”
