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So if the good parts of me are dead, am I simply remembering them to manipulate Lucy, or am I haunted by the man that I thought I left in the past?
I don’t know what to think about any of this.
But I need to stop dwelling on me. Lucy is on the menu here, and I’ve got to serve up the charming bad boy she thinks she can save. I’m too far gone … but she doesn’t have to know that. I can’t believe I’m grappling with what I know I need to do. I have to seduce her. What I want is Lucy, and being myself couldn’t possibly keep her around. No, I’m going to play the cards I’m dealt. I know that my body is attractive. My mind is smart enough to pull her in. Let the games begin, right?
Wrong. I’m thinking about Lucy, but I’m thinking about how she feels … and not just to manipulate those facts. I have to let myself mentally clear my throat, perhaps, and that’s all this is? That’s all I hope this is, because I can’t lose my edge the one time I’ve needed it more than anything.
Lucy is nervous. Despite the fact that she offered her virginity to me, despite the fact that when the time came, she enjoyed every second of what we shared … she’s nervous about the prospect of us fucking again, and I can see that the instant our eyes meet and I approach her. That’s okay, because I know how to make a woman want me. I’m not starting a zero. Tentative desire is what’s before me. Tentative desire is just desire that needs convincing. I know how her body responds to mine. More importantly, I know that she wants to want me. I’ll have Lucy in my grasp, yet. Or should I say she’ll be grasping me soon. Feeling her holding onto me when I fuck is the sort of thing my every fantasy is made of now. Every free moment has me dreaming up her body like some kind of silly teenager or something, which is quite the sharp shift in the wind considering just how much I’ve sworn off women after what happened with my wife. Yeah … everything about Lucy and what she does to me is different from anything I’ve known, and Lucy’s just too damn good in too many ways for me to do anything but remove the fear that might cause her to flee. Because I gave her the option to go, and I won’t take that away. But I sure as fuck don’t want her to leave so I’ve got to put forth my best, shady fucking effort.
I have absolutely no intention of letting her get scared off because I’m not sliding into a pussy that doesn’t want me. No, when I fuck Lucy’s tight pussy again, I’ll be doing so when it’s so slippery it glistens for me.
So, to get there, I can tell I need to take a tender touch. I’m a disgusting asshole, I know, because that means I’m going to be sweet and charming and say every little thing and do every little thing that’ll make Lucy trust me. When I have that, I can have anything. Her trust doesn’t have to come in miles, only inches. A taste of trust here, there, until her shivers disappear and it feels like her idea and her acceptance that leads to me buried inside her again. I’m not taking or overtly coercing. I’m planting the idea in her mind because I’m not just telling her the truth that her body already knows.
She wants me. She needs me. Lucy has already had one taste of me, and she’s not going to just let that go.
“Lucy,” I say when I reach her. She turns, her flowing brown hair cascading down her shoulders and her back in such an enchanting way that I don’t have to fake for a second how mesmerized by her I am. “I wanted to take you back up to the penthouse and let you know how good you look today,” I say, which is a bit of a risk. I need to be smooth and I’m being sleazy instead? Am I trying to fail over here?
Lucy blushes, and I know the way her body inclines toward mine a little that I haven’t totally struck out. No, Lucy likes that I said that to her because she likes what my body does to hers.
“Gian, I thought you’d never ask,” Lucy says, and there’s something in her voice that keeps me from thinking that she is putting on some kind of front. There’s a real arousal in her voice there, even around all these people. It frightens her, but it feels good to her. I’m kind of fucking touched by the idea, but I can’t be getting sappy now. Not when I’m just trying to fuck Lucy and make her feel like I’m a total fucking monster. You know, like a manipulative monster would?
