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“You were bleeding severely. It caused your blood pressure to drop. I’m pretty glad to see you up. But, we found a uterine anomaly which caused a rupture of the uterus.”
“I don’t understand,” I say, picking my head up only to lie back down.
“It’s why you went into early labor, Mrs. Kent.”
I let out a breath. The next few minutes, he explains a whole lot of medical jargon. The point is that I couldn’t carry my baby to full term, and I may or may not be able to have another baby.
I laugh, and the doctor and Nate look at me sadly. “What’s going to happen to the baby?”
“We can arrange for a cremation, Mrs. Kent. Or you can choose to have a funeral if you would prefer.”
“I would have preferred my baby to not have died. So go ahead, cremate away.” I say.
“Baby…” Nate starts.
“Don’t. Just don’t. You don’t get to say anything to me right now.” His face falls. “And get the fuck out of here,” I growl.
When they both leave, Anna comes in and crawls in the bed with me. I hold her tight, and she sings to me in the most horrible voice I have ever heard. I laugh, then cry, then fall asleep, and somewhere during the night, I promise to not hurt her anymore.
“Would you like anything special for dinner?” I’m sitting in my studio, and Nate walks into the room.
“Were you fucking him when I called your office that day?” I ask as my fingers press the keys of my electronic keyboard.
He sits on a large bean bag couch. “Bre…”
“Just answer me. No bullshit.”
“Yes,” he says, and I look at him, tilting my head.
“You and I are a mess, you know that. I’m not angry, you know.”
He cocks a brow. “You’re not?”
“Of course not. I want you to be happy. For God’s sake, do you think I've been faithful to you all these years?”
I play a tune looking over at him. He doesn’t look surprised. “I am about as righteous as you are, husband.” I laugh. “But, I cannot keep this farce up, and I don’t want you to either.”
He leans back, and I start to play a sad tune. “You are incredibly talented, Bre.”
“I know,” I smirk, and he grins back at me, standing and kissing my forehead.
“I do love you, you know.”
“Now that, Nathan, is absolutely true. But sometimes love just isn’t enough.”
I continue to play, and he sits on the bean bag, listening. I feel so much peace. It’s been two months since I lost my baby, and tonight, I feel like I can finally live again.
PART 3 - POSTLUDE
PART 3 - POSTLUDE
Six Years Later
16
Denton
Isit at Savannah’s bedside and hold her hand. I’m exhausted. I haven’t slept much since she was admitted. How the fuck did everything go so wrong? I know everything seems worse when you bring tiredness into the equation. My feet bounce on the floor, and I stop it with a firm grip on my knee.
