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I took another sip. “I got some sad news, that’s all. Someone I’d known in college. He… died.” My gaze met his. “AIDS.”
God, he sat so still. “Did you and he ever…?”
I sighed. “Yeah, once. But just thinking about that one time gives me chills.”
“Why?”
“He didn’t want to use protection, but I insisted.”
He shivered. “I’m glad about that. I’m sorry for your loss, but I’m glad you’re still here. Now, why don’t you tell me what it is you’re trying so hard not to share?”
I should have known he’d see right through me.
“I… I’ve met someone. We work together.”
He frowned. “Then why aren’t you happy about it? Because you’re not, are you?”
I shook my head. “It’s complicated.”
He leaned back. “I’m not going anywhere. Tell me.”
“He… he’s a married man. With kids.”
He widened his eyes. “Did you know he was married when you first went on a date with him?”
I gaped. “No. I wouldn’t do that. We’d been together about six months before… before his wife turned up at the office. And then someone asked if their son was doing better, because he’d come off his bike.” I swallowed. “I had no idea. I wanted to end it there and then, but he begged… When Mom asked if I was coming home for the holidays, I wasn’t really in the mood, but I knew Jay would be with his family.”
“He’s an older guy?”
I nodded. “Older, sexy… and apparently bisexual.”
“And now that you know…” Santa didn’t break eye contact. “Will you stay with him? Because it doesn’t matter how hard he begs. If you’re not happy, call a halt to it.”
I expelled a long breath. “You’re right, of course. He’s a sweet guy—”
“Who’s cheating on his wife,” Santa continued. “And you don’t strike me as the kind of man who would be content with that kind of situation.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “So now I’m a man?”
He smiled too. “Of course. The boy I first met in this room has become a thoughtful, caring, considerate man.” He stared at me. “Who doesn’t flinch from doing what he knows is right.”
My breathing hitched.
“You haven’t told your parents?”
“Good Lord, no. Though maybe it’s time they knew I was gay.”
“They’ll still worry about you. These are precarious times to be a gay man.”
I took another drink. “Maybe you should check inside your sack. You know, in case there’s a handsome older guy hiding in one of the corners.”
Santa reached over and took my hand. “Believe me, I wish there were. Though I can’t imagine the look on your parents’ faces if they came downstairs Christmas morning to find him gift-wrapped under the tree.” He squeezed my hand. “I hope next time we meet in happier circumstances.”
I’d made my mind up. I was going to return to Philadelphia, go back to work, and break it off with Jay. What we had going wasn’t fair on his wife and family, nor me. In truth, part of me had known I’d break it off, even as he was begging me not to.
Santa knows me better than Jay does. He knows I’ll do the right thing.
Yet another Christmas Eve had come along, and still no mention of Santa’s wife. Then a terrible thought seized hold of me.
