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His words caused my insides to give a complicated twist.Different from when?I wanted to ask.Different from last night when you held me while I cried?
“It’s not like you know me much in the first place,” I told him, and then flopped down on my bed, my back bouncing against the firm mattress. “Rachel knows me. You really don’t.”
The bed dipped as he sat down beside me, his hip level with my shoulder. “I’m Reed. I hate tap water, am terrified of snails, and I’m an Aquarius.”
“The food or the animal?”
Reed blinked. “What?”
“Are you afraid of snails, like escargot or the animal?”
He gave his eyes a soft roll. “Escargot, of course. Your turn.”
“I’m Ava,” I said softly, swallowing hard against the growing ache that wrapped around my throat. The sun filtered through my window, enough to give the room a warm glow. “My favorite color is pink, I love designing websites, and I hate change.” I shifted my gaze to where Reed leaned over me, his head partially blocking my ceiling light. “Oh, and I’m a Sagittarius.”
Reed smiled like he was only half-listening, but the intensity in his expression told a different story. It was strange, him looking at me like that. Lying beside him suddenly felt much more…intimate. “Now that we know each other better, do you want to tell me what’s on your mind?”
I went back to the ceiling. “No.”
“Shove over,” he said suddenly, and then laid down shoulder-to-shoulder with me, the bed jostling with the movement. The metal frame squeaked, causing my heart to jump just as loudly in my ears. “How about I share what I’m thinking about and then you go?”
“You better not say something dumb, like ‘food’ or ‘girls.’”
He ignored me. “I’m thinking about my dad.”
I turned my head toward him; it was the last thing I expected him to say, but it’d come so effortlessly. “Your dad?”
“Mm-hmm. Rachel reminded me…his birthday is in a few weeks. I’ve been thinking about him.”
I didn’t look away. His profile looked softer like this, with his head denting into my duvet cover and his eyes relaxed. From this angle, I could see a clear bump in his nose. “When was the last time you two spoke?”
“Probably the day he moved all his stuff,” Reed replied. “He didn’t fight for custody or anything, so we haven’t spoken since. It’s hard to look at him.”
“I can’t even imagine,” I murmured, stomach cramping again at the thought of Mr. Manning. Rachel reiterated often how terrible the whole situation was, but I couldn’t even begin to understand the depth of it. “You said Rachel reminded you it was his birthday?”
He nodded. “And I’ve been thinking about it lately. He might’ve done something stupid—something horrible that hurt all of us—but it doesn’t erase the sixteen other years he’s been there for us. All of the other birthdays and vacations. No matter how much I wish it would, sometimes.”
Reed reached over and laid his hand over where mine was on the bedspread, giving my fingers a squeeze. My insides lurched as if on a rollercoaster, abandoning the landing platform in a sharp jump. After a second of stunned hesitation, my fingers curled around his hand. I wondered if he could feel them tremble.
“Your turn,” he said.
His voice was nearly lost in the thundering of my pulse.My turn, my turn, my turn.There was so much, and despite it overwhelming me, my cheeks burned at the idea of saying them aloud. But Reed was asking for me to be vulnerable after him, and I could never refuse that.
“I was thinking…” I swallowed hard. “About how embarrassed I am.”
“Embarrassed about what?”
“I literally used you like a Kleenex last night. And fell asleep. All of it was a total breech of personal space, and…I’m sorry.”Sort of sorry. Sorry for how embarrassing it was, but not sorry for getting to experience it at least once.
“Who knew you were such a great cuddler?”
If we were going to get technical, when I’d woken up,he’dbeen the one cuddlingme.
“In all seriousness,” Reed went on, shifting the way his fingers settled against mine. “Don’t feel embarrassed. And don’t apologize. If anyone needs to apologize, it’s me.”
Now I looked up at him. I was close enough to see the freckle underneath his waterline. “You? What for?”
“The whole thing with Josh on Thursday. I knew you were going to his house, and I should’ve given you space. I shouldn’t have said yes when Cindy asked me.”
