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A large bay window let in the orange light from the streetlamps, and I peered through the wavy glass. The image of Walnut Street was sleepy, all the surrounding homes slumbering with their lights off. The house across the street, too, was dark, hinting that if anyone was inside, they were already turned in for the night. From this view, it almost looked haunted, with too many shadows dancing across the yard. It looked cold. Empty, as if it was a dollhouse and someone had reached in and taken all the pieces out.
My gaze lifted to the upper left window as I took a sip of my water, wondering if Mom was truly asleep or if she wasn’t home yet. Her car was in the driveway, but that didn’t mean anything. One of her friends could’ve driven. She’d never stayed out this late before, especially not on a weeknight, but lately she’d been coming home progressively later.
Dad leaving had hurt her deeper than it’d hurt him—at least, so I thought. It wasn’t like either of them had talked to me about it.
“Are you sleepwalking, Paparazzi?”
The suddenness of the steady voice and my stupid nickname, so loud in the bubble of silence, had me jumping, and half of the water from my cup sloshed onto the floor. When I turned, I found Reed Manning standing behind me. Barefooted. Bare-chested. Even his pajama pants were hanging low enough on his hips that I could see the band of his boxers. His golden hair appeared mussed from sleep, but his eyes were wide awake.
“Jeez, sorry.” He grabbed a dishcloth from where it hung off the oven handle. “I didn’t realize you’d be so jumpy.”
“I didn’t realize you’d come up behind me like a creeper,” I shot back, heart still trampling in my chest. “What are you even doing down here? You should be asleep.”
Reed dropped the towel on the floor and pressed his foot into it, mopping up the water. “Perks of being the only man in the house. I get to inspect the scary noises, like someone rummaging around in the cupboards like she’stryingto wake up everyone on the block.”
I made a face at him. The “only man in the house” thing reflected back to a topic that was as touchy as could be in the Manning household: Mr. Manning’s infidelity. Last summer, Rachel and Reed’s father moved out. Or, rather, their mother kicked him out after he came clean about his affair.
“What areyoudoing awake?” Reed asked, leaving the towel on the ground to walk over to the cabinet. He withdrew his go-toSuper Mario Brosmug, but instead of opting for tap water, he pulled out a pitcher from the fridge. The soft blue light filled the space as he opened the door, glinting off his canvas of bare skin. “Can’t sleep?”
I looked down at the cup in my hand. “Not really.”
He leaned against the countertop and brought the mug to his lips. “You want to talk about it?”
Even though we were in the same grade and he was Rachel’s twin, I’d never been close with Reed. People always assumed that twins were always super closely bonded, but it wasn’t really the case with Rachel and Reed. Growing up, he had always found us annoying with our dolls and the way we liked to reenact our favorite movies out in the backyard. When we got into middle school, he’d started up sports and never had time to be annoyed by us. And then, when we started high school, he’d quickly risen to the Top Tier, ditching Rachel and me in the dust. For how little our paths crossed, it was easy to forget that he was even Rachel’s brother.
The idea of divulging any of my secrets to him fell into the category ofnever gonna happen, but I knew he was just asking to be polite. Then again, how polite could one be after scaring the bajeezus out of his sister’s best friend in the middle of the night while half naked?
I’d seen him shirtless before after years of hanging around the Manning house, but it felt awkward now with all the lights off. Like I needed to avert my eyes from his pointy-looking collarbones. And those grooves by his hips… “You care?”
“Not really, but listening to you might help me fall asleep.”
I glared at him as I lifted my cup to my lips, swallowing a snarky reply.
“Is it about the list?”
“You know I’m on it?”
“I did not. Not until just now, anyway. I’m an awesome guesser.” Reed arched an eyebrow. “What’s your label?”
I squeezed my eyes shut, hating my cheeks for the wave of heat that swallowed them. I shouldn’t be embarrassed, but, well—whatever. “Never Have Their First Kiss.”
Reed didn’t respond right away, and I refused—refused—to check out his expression. For all I knew, the loser was probably fighting a smile, and I well and truly would’ve died inside. Nothing stroked a girl’s ego like her best friend’s brother laughing at her love life.
“You seriously haven’t had your first kiss?” he asked, and when he finally spoke, his voice sounded normal. No trace of humor.
Still, I didn’t risk looking. “I know that’s surprising toyou, Mr. Lip-Lock. I just…I’d grown up thinking I wanted to save it for Mr. Right. Which is ridiculous. I’m not going to end up marrying the guy I have my first kiss with. This isn’t a movie.” I lifted my chin, as if I could make that decision right then and there.This isn’t a movie. “I overthought it my whole life. It’s not that big of a deal.”
If I’d kissed Cameron Gilson behind the slides, I wouldn’t be in this situation. I wouldn’t be overthinking. I wouldn’t be waiting on some fairytale. Mom thought she found Mr. Right. She and Dad had their first everything’s with each other. Now look where they ended up.
Reed didn’t hesitate. “I mean, it’s whatever. I’m sure there’s a lot of seniors that haven’t had their first kiss.”
When I finally opened my eyes, Reed’s expression was neutral, like he truly didn’t have an opinion on it. Or it was neutral because he couldn’t have cared less about this conversation. It was kind of strange how close he’d come to repeating what Rachel had said verbatim, but then again, theyweretwins. They looked nothing alike, though. Rachel’s hair was dark brown and curly, a trait she’d gotten from her father, where Reed’s hair was more of a golden color, not a wave in sight. I knew Rachel had brown eyes, but I didn’t know what color Reed’s were. It was impossible to tell in the lighting.
“You’ve had your first kiss,” I informed him, as if he didn’t know. “You’ve kissed, like, twenty people.”
“Twenty-one,” Reed deadpanned, a glimmer of his usual grin peeking through.
And just like that, Rambling Ava entered the chat. “Were you nervous your first time? I’m nervous, but I don’t want to wait on it anymore, you know? I don’t want to build it up so big in my head anymore. But, like…I mean, what do you even do with your mouth? What if I’m a horrible kisser? What if I’m a horrible kisser and word gets around? No one would ever want to kiss me again. Although people are probably already suspicious.”
