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The small smirk that had begun forming on Reed’s lips stretched wider, a surprised humor dancing in his eyes. “You’ve really been stressing about this.”
“It’s not like I haven’t thought about it before the list came out.” In fact, it’d been something that’d bounce around in my head. When would I have my first kiss? Who would it be with? What if I was bad at it? “But now I’ve made the decision that I want to get it over with. Take the pressure off.”
Yeah, that sounded right. Rachel and I looking at guys in the yearbook seemed awkward earlier, but now I felt confident about it. Go up to someone and—bam. Make it happen. Rip the Band-Aid off. I would stop stressing about it.
“So, kiss someone.” Reed shrugged lazily, slouching lower against the counter as he stretched his feet out before him. “First kisses aren’t that big of a deal. They’re usually awkward, too. I’m sure if you put out an ad on Babble, you’d have guys lining up.”
“An ad? Becausethat’snot skeevy at all.”
Reed reached out and put a hand on my shoulder, giving me a shake. “Well, until you find someone, you can practice on your pillow.”
With his heavy touch, something else sunk into my bones. He was a blockade of skin and abdominals, but for some reason, staring at his bare collarbone caused me to stop. Inspiration. It struck like lightning, electrifying my thoughts.
I tilted my head up, half-hating him for the height difference. His eyeswerebrown, like Rachel’s, but much, much brighter.
He had his mug half raised to his lips but stopped, instantly suspicious. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I should kissyou.”
“Me?” Reed, jerking his hand away, sounded horrified, and his expression morphed to match. It was all arched eyebrows and saucer-wide eyes. “Why me?”
“I said I wanted to get my first kiss over with, and I’d rather it be with someone I like—”
“Youlike me?” If possible, he sounded more alarmed. His face became thoroughly freaked out-looking, like I’d proposed to him more than just a kiss.
“Ew, not like that!” In fact, I’d never thought of him as kissable before this moment. Yeah, he had a nice mouth—plush-looking lips that would’ve matched mine—and he was attractive, but since he was Rachel’s brother, he was strictly off-limits to think about in that way. Rachel would smother me with a pillow in my sleep if she thought I had a crush on her brother. “Someone I like, but won’tfall for. If I have my first kiss with you, I’m safe from catching feelings.”
The list of why I’d never fall for Reed Manning waslong. I didn’t have enough fingers to tick off the reasons. I saw him in his awkward, long-limbed phase in elementary school, and the phase in middle school where he put on way too much body spray and tried to grow out a mangey mustache. And even now, senior year, I dodged him for obvious reasons.
“It’s just a kiss,” I added. “You kiss people all the time.”
A fact, too, especially if he’s already over Kelsey and onto someone new. He hadn’t used to be a serial dater, but it seemed that ever since junior year, he’d turned into Mr. Player. Never stayed with one girl longer than two months. He was definitely not the boy next door.
“Don’t you and Rachel have a rule?” he asked, making a face. “Like a ‘no dating my brother’ rule?”
“How do you know about that?”
“Rachel used to suck at hiding her diary.”
Okay, that unlocked a whole new level of discomfort. If he knew about the rule, what else did he know about? I shook the thought from my head before I had a chance to spiral. “We wouldn’t tell her.” That part seemed self-explanatory. Rachel finding out would be the equivalent to a hydrogen bomb dropping on our quaint little Brentwood street.
“Jeez, you’re too calm, you know that? It’s like you’re asking me for five dollars instead of kissing you. You’d be great at poker.”
“You’re the one who said kisses weren’t that big of a deal.” I smiled when he looked away from me, knowing he was eating his words. “One peck and then it’s done. You’ll show me how to do it, I’ll have officially had my first kiss, and then—ta-da. Over with. Like getting a shot at the doctor.”
“Except doctors always give you lollipops, and kissing you would give me hell with my sister.”
I stared up at him, my determination starting to morph into an offended shock. “Oh, you don’twantto kiss me, is that it?”
Reed squeezed his eyes shut. “Jeez, Ava—”
“Forget it, forget it.” Insecurity wiggled in to take its place, and then a nice little dose of shame. It could’ve been because he didn’t want to risk the wrath of Rachel, but it could’ve been because the idea of kissingmegrossed him out. I took a step back, my butt hitting the countertop of the island. “It’s not like you could keep a secret from her, anyway. Don’t you have twin telepathy?”
Something about that made him sigh, a sound that seemed to echo in the dark kitchen. “I keep secrets from Rachel all the time.”
“Like with the football team?” Reed’s expression turned into something that was considerably less romantic. Not that he’d really looked romantic before. “Why did you quit?”
At first, I wasn’t sure he was even going to answer me. “Maybe I wanted to try a new hobby instead of practicing all the time. Videogames, maybe. Collect rocks. Comic books always seemed cool.”
