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River was right in one thing: she wouldn’t be happy while estranged from her father. Her father, because he was. She wanted to know more about Ircantari, and appreciated his love and his sacrifice, but that didn’t erase what King Azir had done for her and Fel. It felt good to have their family back together, even if not everything had yet been solved.
Naia could sense evil lurking, could feel that something was about to happen. She saw it in the eyes of the three dragons, who looked alert rather than relieved. Then there was the Ancient City and all its problems, but it was true that her body couldn’t go on forever and resting for now was the best she could do.
31
Together
Peace and quiet for a while, even if it was a short while, was amazing. Fel could barely believe it as he lay in bed, realizing he was indeed exhausted—but happy. He even got an apology from Ursiana. He hadn’t asked about the note, but heard Leah mentioning it to her mother, who didn’t seem to know anything about it. The important thing was that now she approved their union, which made him happy, even if they still would need to deal with Venard.
He wondered if Cynon was really gone, if this was it, and yet his mind couldn’t focus much on that, so tired, already drifting into sleep. Still, Fel waited, wondering… Leah had been assigned her own bedroom, but he was still hoping she’d come here, since she could move through the hollow. Last time, his mind had been addled, thinking this was a dream. And yet later on, wide awake, she had undressed for him on those cold mountains, even if they wouldn’t be able to get together properly. But then, she was probably tired and had to sleep. Their time would come. It was just that it felt so good to hold her with his human arms, kiss her…
Perhapsheshould get up and go to her room. Or perhaps he should let sleep take him. Her mother was a few doors down. And his father—her father. Fel really didn’t want to think about that. He closed his eyes, drifting off, leaving all his worries behind.
“Fel?” Leah was sitting on his bed, wearing a nightgown, even though it was day, looking so beautiful under the sunlight coming through the thin curtains.
“I was waiting for you.”
He lifted the sheet covering him.
Lying beside him, she smiled. “How did you know I would come?”
“I only hoped.” He pulled her close and kissed her cheek.
Their eyes locked. He wanted to undress her, wanted to do so much, and yet wasn’t sure she was ready for it, wasn’t sure this was what she wanted, and yet he feared that asking would be too bold. His heart was hammering in his chest.
“You’re tired.” She looked down, suddenly.
“Never tired for you.” He kissed her shoulder. “We can get married now.”
She sighed. “After we deal with Venard.”
“I can make you a widow. Just say the word.” He wasn’t joking.
She shook her head. “He’s the least evil in that family, and could be a potential ally. Plus, he’s your cousin.”
Fel chuckled. “I’m supposed to love my Ironhold relatives now?”
“No. Your grandmother is a monster.” Any trace of playfulness or joy was gone from her face.
Fel pulled his metal hand that had been resting on the mantelpiece and caressed her hair. “I’m sorry you went through all that. Sorry for my part in it. I should have tried to speak to you.” He still felt so guilty for not having intervened, for having let her go to Ironhold.
“I made the same mistake.” She held his metal fingers and smiled. “I love your hands.” She then let go of them. “But you don’t need them now.”
Fel stared at the sheet, feeling uncomfortable to be reminded of that.
She said, “You can keep them if you want.”
With his eyes closed, he guided the pieces of metal to his corner desk. The truth was that he felt naked and vulnerable without them. It had been easy when he’d thought this was a dream.
He felt her lips kissing the tip of his arm. “I love you the way you are,” she said.
“My hands are part of me.”
“I know.”
He caressed her temple with his arm. “I love you.” He chuckled, suddenly reminded of something River had told him. “These words sound small when trying to convey what I feel.”
She had her eyes closed, a smile on her face. “Show me not with words, then.”
