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He sighed. “Well, now. That’s the very opposite of patience, isn’t it? Try not to lose your cool, little one.”
“How can I not lose my fucking cool? I’ve just had a ghost asking me if I’m a witch in a fucking bathroom! I’ve gone mad, that’s it, isn’t it? I’m in a mental asylum somewhere, drugged up to the eyeballs.”
Hans stayed so steady, shaking his head at me.
Then the thought really slammed me – I was in a coma! Maybe I’d been hit by a car on the way to work, and now I was in a coma, playing inside my mind.
“You’re not insane and you’re not in a coma,” Hans said, “How about you go finish your merlot and we’ll resume the conversation when you’re a little calmer?”
I stared at him in shock, because he sounded like all this was the most natural thing in the world. Like it should be obvious that these entities existed and I should have known all about them.
“Iamsurprised you don’t know about them, yes,” he said.
His tone changed and he cursed under his breath.
“Your mother and grandmother did a very good job at hiding the truth from you, didn’t they?”
Stupid girl.
Even now his eyes were so green they were mesmerising. I tried to focus on them and not the world that was twisting and warping around me.
I took a deep breath, and tried to still the inner whirlwind. There was no point in denying it. My rational beliefs were crumbling to nothing, and there was nothing I could do about it.
I sighed to myself, my hands still gripped in Hans’. He stayed as calm as ever while my mind lurched through my memories.
Maybe I should have fought an awful lot harder in the first place. Every time Mum and Grandma told me I was bloody insane…
“Don’t beat yourself up,” Hans said. “You were just a child. You’re blossoming into a very skilled woman right now. You should be proud of yourself.”
“What am I?” I asked again. “Seriously, just tell me, will you?”
His gaze was so intense it took my breath.
“I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again. Make sure you only ask questions when you’re ready to hear the answers. Once you’ve heard them, you can’t go back.” He paused. “So, I’m asking you. Do you really want to know?”
Yes.That’s what I thought in an instant. YES, OF COURSE I WANT TO KNOW.
Hans spoke again.
“Be sure, little one. Be very, very sure.”
I could sense the trapdoor, thumping in my subconscious, and it gave me its usual shiver ofNO.
NO.
DON’T DO IT!
Don’t ask the question.
But I couldn’t fight it anymore. I couldn’t walk out of the bathroom with no idea what the fuck was happening to me, or who the fuck I really was…
I sounded surprisingly self-assured when I spoke next.
“Yes,” I told him. “I want to know. So, I’m asking you again. What the hell am I? A psychic, a ghost whisper, or a goddamn witch, Hans?”
He sighed, and gave my hands another squeeze before he answered me.
“You’re all three,” he said.
