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I turned my head and refused to look at him, because the hell of it was that I knew I was acting like a crazy ass, and what’s more I didn’t know why I was saying all this and why I couldn’t seem to stop. He’d always been sweet and kind to me, almost from the time I first met him. And he’d tried to understand everything I was concerned about, even though he was all Alpha and then some. It had to be hard for him.
He had been willing to work with me and my idiosyncrasies, because I was something of a rarity among omegas. He must have sat up at night and thought, damn, of all the omegas I could have been attracted to, I got saddled with this one. He’d been nothing but fair and honest and good, and I still wanted to be mad at him and show what a colossal twat I was!
But I couldn’t seem to help myself—and what the hell was wrong with me that I was messing this up in such an apocalyptically bad way? Like I was moving into the Super-Bowl of bad ideas now. Did I secretlywantto sabotage this?
“I need to go home,” I said ungraciously.
He had invited me here for this beautiful weekend in his beautiful home, and I didn’t even have the grace to even act like I appreciated it. Oh, who was I kidding? I didn’t have any grace at all. Or patience or poise or finesse or any of the things I needed to measure up to a man like Dominic Bousset. I couldn’t even stand there and look at him. Not a second longer! I turned on my heel and began walking back to the bedroom, calling over my shoulder to him.
“Please tell Josh to take me back home. I’ll go get my things.”
Because of course, I did.
But that wasn’t the worst of it—no, not by a long shot. The worst was that Dominic never—not once—said a word to stop me.
That was the worst. That was actually pretty damn devastating.
Still pretending to be in my I-don’t-care-about-anything-mode, I sailed upstairs, threw my clothes in my bag and came back down to find Josh waiting for me in the foyer. He looked sad but quietly took my bag and I followed him out to the car. As we drove away, I couldn’t resist one last look back. But of course, there was no one who had come out to see us off. And no one there to wave goodbye to.
Chapter Thirteen
Jax
I blew it. And what’s more I knew I did, and I knew that there was nothing I could say or do to make him take me out of the “Seriously Crazy” pile he no doubt had consigned me to. Unless he had me in the “This Loser Is Way Too Much Trouble” pile. That was also a possibility. I had earned myself a solid place there too, I felt sure.
The next day I waited for him to call, but of course, I waited in vain. I thought a dozen times of picking up the phone to call him, but I chickened out each and every time. I didn’t know what to say to him because I didn’t even fully understand myself why I’d been such an ass.
Because he was right. Our first time together we’d both been stupid and careless. Me, more so, because I was the one who didn’t want to get pregnant until my business had taken off. Then last night, I had forgotten it in the heat of the moment or to be more accurate, had just not cared. Not enough to stop him, because I had no doubt that he would have stopped the moment I asked.
And worst of all, I’d been having some symptoms. Every morning for the last week, I’d been nauseated when I first woke up, and once I had to run for the bathroom to throw up. With my usual, amazing ability to deceive myself, I told myself it was a stomach bug or something I ate. I decided I needed to grow up and go buy a pregnancy test on my first break at work.
After all, to be fair, Dominic was only doing what came naturally to Dragon Alphas, especially rich ones like him. And since he was fully prepared to claim me as his and already had for that matter, he saw no reason why he shouldn’t make love to me whenever and wherever he wanted as long as I was willing. And I certainly had given him every reason to think I was. He must have figured that like almost all modern omegas, I was on the omega pill and if what we had between us was truly a matter of true mates, and I did get pregnant, he was fully prepared and even eager to marry me.
So why had I sabotaged myself? And even worse, why had I then tried to put the blame on him? I didn’t know the answer, and I was still trying to figure it out that afternoon when Hailey and I were closing. I still hadn’t heard from Dominic, and I hadn’t yet had the nerve to do the pregnancy test.
Hailey was helping me close out the register for the day, but she stopped what she was doing and turned around to look at me.
“Care to tell me what’s going on with you, or are you just going to keep walking around, sighing like somebody killed your puppy?”
“I am not.”
“Yes, you are. Now spill the tea. What happened this weekend? I thought you were going away to Dominic Bousset’s lodge in the mountains to have fun?”
“I did.”
“And?”
“And nothing. It was nice.”
“Jax Jordan. Talk to me or I’ll—well, I’m not sure what I’ll do, but you won’t like it.”
“Okay, calm down. I had another stupid fight with Dominic,” I admitted, hanging my head.
“Another one? Didn’t you just make up? No, wasn’t this trip all about you going up there to his lodge specifically to make up?” She slapped my arm. “What is wrong with you? Are you crazy?”
“Ow! That hurt. And how do you know it was my fault?”
She folded her arms and arched an eyebrow. “Was it?”
