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Surprise cuts through the bijass. Kirmanda slips from my grip and runs into the jungle. I go after him but he is fast. In moments I see the lights of the compound through the trees of the jungle. If I go any closer, I will be fighting all of them.
Regret is a stabbing pain, but this is foolish. I will not win against the Order single-handed. I let Kirmanda go, for now, and return to Belle.
6
BELLE
A few days later
“Have you seen Bahr?” I ask.
“I saw him walking along the cliff,” Charlie says.
“Thank you,” I say.
Our new home is nice. Beats the cave we were living in and it’s far enough away from the Order that we should be safe, for a while at least. We arrived yesterday and I thought everything would settle down, but Bahr has been silent and distant.
Did I do something wrong? Is he mad at me?
Bahr is my happily ever after. Of that I’m sure and I thought he was all on board. Isn’t that the way Zmaj mating works? That’s what the girls who are mated to them say. The Zmaj know the moment they set eyes on you, they know.
Everything that happens between that moment and the actual coming together is each couple’s story. Except Bahr hasn’t come to me and after that kiss… is something wrong with me? Am I wrong?
Self-doubt invades my thoughts and I push it aside, again. This compound is dusty and rundown but has good bones. Doors being one of my favorite things and rooms, private rooms. Private rooms that I thought Bahr and I would be sharing but he didn’t come to me last night. He didn’t even ask, instead he disappeared.
I get lost trying to find the door out. That’s the biggest problem with this place, it’s a bit of a maze once you get past the entrance. I’ve heard the Zmaj talking about how this is a good thing, makes it more defensible, but all I know is it’s a hassle when you’re trying to get from one place to another. I wander through the twisting hallways until I recognize a door and open it.
“What?”
“Oh, ah, excuse me,” I stammer as I quickly avert my eyes and shut the door, inadvertently slamming it.
I did not need to see that.
A hot flush rushes across my chest and face, making my nipples ache as my own suppressed desire and need rises. Eve and Othim looked like they were having a, uhm, really nice time. Not that I looked, well too much.
This is ridiculous. I’m turned on and that’s okay. A girl has needs and seeing my friend and her mate enjoying themselves was hot, even if it was only a flash. My need to find Bahr though is now greater than ever.
I don’t know how long I wander the halls before I finally open the right door that leads to the entrance. Having found it, I emerge from the building into the oppressively hot air outside. The land is open for a good thirty feet or so before the jungle. A thick grass that comes up to mid-thigh grows in that open area. It makes moving through it a bit difficult and I’m sure it’s hiding who knows how many possible terrors that would love to make a meal of me, but it’s also pretty.
The grass has a yellow hue instead of green like earth grass. It reminds me of an old vid I watched about these little Earth creatures called meerkats. The area they lived in was called a savannah and had similar colorations to this.
Of course, they’re an extinct species on a planet that’s only distantly my home because I’ve never actually been there. Is it really my home planet any longer? I’m a child of the ship and it was the only home I ever knew, before now.
I take in a deep breath of the rich Tajss air. The air is heady with the aromas of Tajss. Fresh dirt, the subtle rot of fallen debris in the jungle, the scent of ozone, and a sweet smell that I don’t know the source of. I look up at the red sky with its beautiful pink clouds stretching like long crooked fingers across the double suns that incessantly beat down. No, this is my home now.
I stretch my arms over my head, but the arousal of my nipples forces me to stop midway through the motion because they’re dragging painfully against the rough-spun cloth of my shirt. I wish I still had a bra but mine broke months back and it’s not like I can run to the store to buy a new one. Ziva has been tying a cloth around her chest but she’s bustier than I am, so I haven’t bothered, but right now I’m regretting it.
The sounds of the ocean slapping against the cliffs is a constant and I turn towards it, looking for Bahr. Once I round the building, he’s impossible to miss. He’s standing on a promontory that protrudes past the drop of the cliff.
He strikes an imposing figure. His wings are partially open making him appear even wider than he usually is. He’s like a statue, carved to stand guard over the ocean approach to the building. Perfection given form. The strength of his jaw line, the way his tail balances his bulk, and the bulging muscles of his arms.
The wind whips his pants around his legs and tugs at his wings that sway with it. He’s staring across the ocean and even from here I can see he’s deep in thought, but about what? Is he doubting me? Us?
My stomach flutters as I walk forward. Confronting this now is the right thing to do. Knowing that, deciding it even, and doing it are two entirely different worlds. My feet feel heavy and it’s an effort to take every step. A million scenarios play in my head, all of them terrible.
Him rejecting me. Him being indifferent. Dismissive. Him being anything but the man I think he is. All the ways I could be wrong about us. Underneath all the negative thoughts, though, I’m certain.
He loves me. There’s no way anyone could kiss someone like we did and it not be real. That wasn’t hormones or impulse, that was the ephemeral and oft spoken of in wistful tones love. I know it. It must be because if it’s not then every romance novel and every old vid I’ve ever watched is a lie.
