AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Finn shifted, and before she could snatch it away, he put one of his large, warm capable hands over hers where it rested on her knee.
It’ll be okay, he’d said to her just before her nap earlier, touching her cheek, his fingertips sending trails of fire over her skin. And she’d been conscious of something tight and sore inside her relaxing at the immense certainty she’d heard in his voice. As if there was no doubt in his mind that itwouldbe okay. As if he’d make sure of it.
She’d needed that certainty then, and with the warmth of his hand over hers, she needed it just as badly now.
“I’ve been pregnant before,” she forced out, since she was going to have to tell him at some stage and it might as well be now. “And it…didn’t end well.”
He said nothing, and for the first time it occurred to her that he wasn’t a stranger to grief and loss. That if anyone knew how hard it made things, he would.
He hadn’t lost a baby, but he’d lost his wife. He’d lost, period.
Beth swallowed and made herself tell him the rest. “She was born at twenty weeks and didn’t make it. It was a few years ago now, so I’m mostly okay. But this is…well, it brings up some stuff.”
Again, he said nothing, only kept his hand over hers in a way that made part of her ache. The same way she’d ached when he’d touched her cheek, as if some piece of her was desperate for reassurance and a warm touch, some contact that didn’t involve her having to pretend everything was great all the time.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she said into the silence. “And I’d rather you didn’t mention it to anyone else because no one else knows. I thought that…given the circumstances, you should be aware.”
After a moment, he said, “Thank you for telling me,” and squeezed her hand briefly before letting it go. “You’ll want to keep this baby, then?”
Her hand felt cold, and she had to restrain the urge to reach over and grab his again, making do with folding her own together instead.
“Yes,” she said, staring at the floor, the realization settling inside her like the ground settling after an earthquake. “I do.”
And she did. Now the shock was wearing off and reality was asserting itself, she understood there was no question about it. She was still terrified and uncertain about what it would mean for her and her future, but she did want this baby and fiercely.
“Okay,” Finn said as if it was no big deal. “We’ll get a test. We should do that ASAP. It’ll mean a trip to Queenstown, but that shouldn’t be a problem. Levi’s going tomorrow to pick up some tourists, so we can tag along.”
She glanced at him. “But aren’t you taking a trek?”
“Yeah, but Chase can take it. Or we can cancel it. It’s not a problem.”
“Or you don’t have to come,” she pointed out. “Believe it or not, I can buy a pregnancy test on my own.”
“Sure you can.” He pushed himself off the couch and went over to the coffee table to pick up the bowl and spoon. “But you’re not going to.”
His insistence needled at her for reasons she didn’t understand and didn’t have the energy to examine right now.
“Why?” she muttered grumpily. “I don’t need your assistance.”
Finn straightened and turned around. The expression on his strongly carved, handsome face was mild, but the glitter in his dark eyes was not.
“Here’s the deal,” he said. “This is not solely your responsibility. I’m a part of this too, and if you’re expecting me to stand back and let you handle this on your own, you’re going to be disappointed. That’s not how I operate.”
There it was, that will of his—tough as iron and just as certain. It made part of her want to argue, to see how far she could push him, see where his line was, while another part wanted to throw up her hands and let him take charge so she didn’t have to.
Not that anyone could push Finn Kelly once he’d made up his mind about something, she suspected. Chase had even muttered on more than one occasion that the guy was mule-stubborn when he wanted to be, and Beth guessed she was looking at the mule right now.
So why bother arguing? Hewaspart of this, and actually the only reason she wanted to handle it on her own was because she was afraid to trust that anyone would stay.
But Finn Kelly wasn’t going to go anywhere. He owned a business with his brother and he owned this horse ranch. He had a house here, and if his wife hadn’t passed away, he’d likely have had a family here too.
Plus he had the same strong sense of community responsibility that his brother did and a tendency to be an immovable object to any unstoppable force that came his way.
He wasn’t emotionally fragile, like her mother, or coldly raging, like her father, and he wasn’t avoidant, like Troy. He could have ignored her illness, let her pretend nothing was up, and gone about his business, yet he hadn’t. He’d come after her and insisted she tell him what the problem was.
Asshole.
“Okay,” she said, actually throwing up her hands. “Fine. Do that then. I don’t care. I just don’t want anyone else to know, okay? Not until I have to tell them.”
