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“And I’ll be relieved not to be asked ten times a day how I’m doing.”
His voice was very dry and the sardonic humor in it made her smile. She knew how that went.
“That’s kind of why I left Deep River,” she said. “People kept looking at me like ‘oh there’s the poor depressed girl who lost her baby.’” She’d meant him to smile at that and she was gratified that he did, appreciating her black humor. “I got sick of it. I didn’t want to be the poor depressed girl who lost her baby anymore. So when the opportunity to come out to Brightwater Valley presented itself, I took it.”
Finn glanced at her. “You wanted a new life, huh?”
“Yeah. A new life and a new future.” She rubbed her pendant between her fingers. “I wanted to leave the old me behind, the depressed me. I wanted to be a…different person here.”
Finn didn’t speak, but she knew he was listening.
“I wanted to be a positive and happy person,” she went on. “A ‘silver linings, count your blessings’ kind of person. I thought it would be easy since no one knew me or my past. But…” She stopped because this wasn’t exactly being positive or happy. This was depressing.
“Hate to tell you this,” Finn said, “but I knew all of your cheerful crap was a total lie. It always felt kind of fake.”
Beth stared at him. “What? Really?”
“Yeah.” He gave her another of his dark, enigmatic glances. “I think that’s why I found you difficult. Because it felt totally fake, and I didn’t know what you were trying to do or trying to prove.”
She blinked, feeling vulnerable, as if he’d ripped away a disguise she’d been wearing. “Oh,” she said. “That’s…embarrassing.”
“It was only me, honey.” His voice was quietly reassuring. “I don’t think anyone else felt the same way. Actually, Iknowno one else felt the same way because I told Chase that once and he looked at me as if I was crazy and wouldn’t hear a word said against you.”
She studied his strong profile.
He wasn’t looking at her, keeping his eyes on the road, but his large, capable hands on the steering wheel were loose and the tension she’d always seen in him seemed to be absent today.
Was it her agreeing to marry him? Or the sex? Or was it only that, now they had a direction and a decision had been made, he was more relaxed?
Perhaps it didn’t matter. Perhaps all that mattered was that he was at peace with it.
“I’m glad someone was on my side,” she said lightly, part of her annoyed that he’d seen through her, while another part was secretly relieved. Because now that he knew, she didn’t have to pretend. “You might wish for me to start being fake again. Especially after the baby is born.”
He gave her another fleeting glance, the glitter of something complicated and fierce in his eyes. “No, I won’t. You don’t have to fake anything with me, Beth. You never have to fake anything with me. Got it?”
She swallowed, a small lump forming in her throat. “Yes.”
“Your previous boyfriend, Troy, right? He out of the picture?”
“Yes and pretty much completely. He didn’t do grief or depression or any of that tough stuff, and after I lost the baby, he just…up and left.”
Anger flickered briefly across Finn’s face. “Good. Sounds like an asshole to me. And just so we’re clear, I’m not going to be like him. I don’t run away when things get hard. I’ll be around for the duration.”
The lump in her throat got bigger. “Okay.”
“I think we probably need to talk more about how this is going to work.” Finn was clearly on a roll now. “But I want to get our announcement out of the way first.”
Last night it had been late after they’d finished dinner and dessert, and she’d been tired. So he’d tucked her up in his bed, telling her he’d call the farmhouse to let Indigo know she’d be staying over.
She expected him to sleep with her, but if he had, she hadn’t noticed, since she’d been alone when she’d fallen asleep and alone when she’d woken up that morning.
They’d talked a lot over dinner about how they were going to tell people and when she’d move in—all the practical stuff and nothing at all personal. Which was fine and she’d gone along with it. But…was that how their marriage was going to be? Discussions on practical matters and nothing else?
He’d said he wanted to get to know her though, so maybe not. Maybe there would be more. Eventually.
“Yes, fine,” she said.
“That reminds me…” He hesitated slightly, which was uncharacteristic of him, then went on, “I should have told you earlier, but…Chase already knows.”
