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“So what’s up?” Izzy asked.
Beth took a gulp of her ginger beer. Well, she certainly wasn’t going to tell the others that, not yet. Maybe not ever. Hey, maybe if she ignored it, it would go away.
“Finn’s great, don’t get me wrong,” she said. “He’s very supportive and caring. Does a lot of stuff for me. But…there’s this distance between us. He’s shutting me out.”
Indigo wrinkled her nose, obviously not impressed with this. She put her shandy down and picked up her knitting. “So, uh, you never really went into detail about the…um…exact nature of your relationship with Finn. Emotionally, I mean.”
Beth sighed. “It’s complicated.”
“Of course it is,” Izzy said comfortingly. “Kelly men do tend to make things unnecessarily complicated.”
“He did lose his wife.” Beth rubbed at the condensation on the side of her glass, feeling defensive of him. “And there’s no magical ‘moving on’ date. You never stop grieving. You just learn where to put the grief so you can keep living.”
Izzy’s gaze was full of a compassion that made Beth’s throat close up.
“That sounds like the voice of experience,” her friend said quietly.
It wasn’t the right time, and it wasn’t the right place, just before a movie was supposed to start and with the town gathered around, all talking and laughing. But the words slipped out of Beth before she could stop them.
“I’ve been pregnant before. But I…lost my baby. She was a late-stage miscarriage. And then I had some terrible postpartum depression.” She swallowed. “People knew. That’s the reason I left Deep River. I wanted to get away from all those pitying stares, find myself a new life. Somewhere more positive and happy.”
“Oh, Beth.” Izzy reached out and grabbed her hand. “I’m so sorry.”
Then Indigo took the ginger beer bottle out of Beth’s other hand and laced Beth’s fingers through hers, the two women holding on to her tightly. They didn’t speak, but then they didn’t have to. Beth could feel their support and their sympathy, their compassion flooding into her—a wordless offer of comfort and caring that brought tears to her eyes.
She had been afraid to tell them. Afraid to lay bare her experiences because no one else had wanted to know. And no one else had stayed to support her or care for her. She’d had to do it all on her own, and she had.
But it had led to an immense distrust of the people around her—people who didn’t deserve that distrust. Like Indigo and Izzy. They were here for her, she realized. They would never abandon her.
She swallowed again, blinking back the tears fiercely. “Thanks,” she said in a husky voice. “Thanks, you two. I know I haven’t said anything about it before, but…I didn’t get a lot of support from my family, and I find it a bit difficult to trust people.”
“You can trust us,” Izzy said firmly. “You can trust us with anything.”
“Amen,” Indigo murmured. “You can.”
She took a breath. “I’m in love with Finn Kelly.”
“Oh,” Izzy said, smiling. “Not surprising.”
“At all,” Indigo added.
Beth was a little miffed. She thought it was surprising. “Well, I only just figured it out.” She sniffed. “It wasn’t supposed to happen. We were supposed to have one night together and that was it, go our separate ways.”
“Uh-oh.” Indigo squeezed her hand tighter. “Getting pregnant must have been a shock then. No wonder you looked like a ghost.”
“Yeah,” Beth said, feeling inexplicably lighter now that all her secrets were out. “That’s kind of an understatement. Finn wants a family and he wants to be around to see his kid grow up, be a father, and he wants some legal protection for the child and for me. And when he suggested marriage, I thought, why not? I mean…we’re virtually already married. Living in the same house, sharing the same bed. We’re just…not in love. Or rather, he’s not in love with me.”
Izzy gave her hand a last squeeze, then let go, taking a sip of her shandy. “Are you sure about that?”
“It looks like he is to me,” Indigo said, picking up her knitting again.
Beth’s heart thumped painfully. “He’s not. He was very clear that he wasn’t. It looks that way because he’s a good guy. He helps everyone; it’s not just about me. And he was very clear about what he could give me and what he couldn’t.”
Izzy’s brow furrowed, but all she said was “So what are you going to do? Or rather, what do you want to do?”
Beth rubbed at the slick surface of her glass. “I don’t know. I thought I’d be fine with what we have, which is pretty good. But…sometimes I say things or ask about things that clearly hurt him. I grew up in a house constantly full of anger and emotional distress, and I don’t want that for our kid.”
“You shouldn’t want that for you either,” Izzy pointed out, her dark eyes full of kindness and warmth. “You deserve better than that, Beth.”
