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Stripping out of the rest of my clothes, I pull on a pair of pajama pants and head into the kitchen.I need a fucking drink.
Grabbing a bottle of whiskey from the counter, I pour two fingers worth and swirl the amber liquid around the glass as I try to force my brain to shut the hell up. I down it without a second thought, enjoying the burn as the alcohol slides down my throat. I’m quick to pour a second and down that too, but before I pour my third, I realize there isn’t enough whiskey in all of Christmas to stop me from thinking about the curvy angel staying in the house next door.
I place the cap back on the bottle and push the glass away before I drag my ass to my bedroom, hoping sleep will give me some relief from the situation I find myself in. Fat chance, I know. But all this thinking, it hurts my brain.
As I enter my bedroom, my eyes go straight to the open curtains. The light in the window across from mine is on.Herbedroom. I noticed our windows were aligned long ago.No wonder you’re rushing to bed, you dirty fuck.
There’s no denying my actions. My stream of consciousness was trying to convince me I was actually coming up here to go to sleep. Ha! Both my conscience and I know well and good that I was coming up here to see if I could see her.Great. Now I’m a peeping Tom too.
Keeping my light off so she can’t see me, I move closer to the window and find her lying at the foot of her bed, like she sat there and just flopped back, which seems like a logical thing to do after the clusterfuck tonight turned out to be. Her fingers play with something around her neck, the little gold necklace she was wearing this evening, I assume. I can see the rise and fall of her chest, her breasts moving up and down as she takes long, deep inhales and exhales. If it wasn’t for her hand moving side to side as she plays with her necklace, I’d think she was sleeping like that.
Then all at once, she drops her hands by her sides and sits up, pulling her sweater over her head and throwing it on the ground. I step back and close my eyes, knowing I shouldn’t be watching this. But it only takes a stuttered breath before I’m right back where I was a moment ago, eyes wide open while I contemplate getting my binoculars out of the closet.
With her back to me, she reaches her hands up her spine and unclasps her bra, sliding it down her arm and leaving it on the floor as she walks to her dresser and opens the drawer.
I’m caught between being pissed at her for getting changed with the curtains open—anyone could be watching her—and praising her for this precious view. I haven’t even seen her nakedness properly and I’m hard as a rock.Turn around, honey. Show Ryder what you’ve got.
And just like that, she pulls what looks like a nightgown from her drawer and drops it over her head, turning just enough so I get a glimpse of side boob before it’s covered by too much cotton. My cock surges like I’m in junior high, looking down the front of the teacher’s shirt, and I have to fight the urge to wrap my hand around my length and jerk off over her like the dirty bastard I am. She’s so close, I can almost smell her. So close, I could almost reach out and touch her. So close, I could forget all the reasons I should stay away and fuck her.
As she pulls her nightgown over her hips, she manages a switch that has her pushing those darn sparkly tights down her legs. I wish I could see more, but my imagination has to take over because she’s out of view for about five seconds. When she stands, she runs her hands through her shoulder-length black hair and moves across the room, her gaze moving to the window. She tilts her head to the side, seeming curious as she gets closer. “The fuck?” I take a few steps away from the window, deeper into my darkened room.Can she see me?
BELLA
Itake a deep breath as I look out my window and sigh. I've always wondered if love at first sight was possible. I felt sure it was something you only read about in books and fairytales, something you only see in movies. But meeting Ryder today has given me a new perspective. It’s made me believe that true love reallydoesexist. Well, it does for me, anyway.
I love him. I want him. I need him.
"But doeshefeel any of that forme?" I ask my empty room as I lift my gaze to the moon shining brightly in the sky. Ithoughthe did. Up until the abrupt exit from the diner and the awkward situation in front of the house, I was sure I saw all the signs. But maybe I was too caught up in the moment to realize that maybe he was just teasing me. Maybe my inexperience had me reading into something that wasn’t really there?
Inexperience…Was that what made him change his mind?
Another sigh escapes me as I replay our conversation in my mind, trying to pinpoint the moment where he went from saying he’s interested with heat in his eyes to telling me it was time to go from behind an ice wall.Is it because I’m a virgin? Did I scare him away?
I close my eyes and wrap my arms around myself, imagining the embrace was warm and strong and belonged to him. Just because I’m a virgin, it doesn’t mean I’m afraid of sex, or that I don’t know what I want, or that I’ll get all clingy and needy just because he was my first. Actually, that last part is a lie. I’d totally get clingy and needy. Not because I wanted him to be my first, but because I want him to be my all. There’s something really special and unique about the way I feel around Ryder. It’s like I was put on this earth as a gift to him, and all I really want to do is offer myself up on a platter and let him take me how he pleases. Sounds really antiquated, I know. But the idea of being owned by him really gets me going.
Filled with longing, my hands wander across my body as my mind starts to imagine what it would be like if he were right here with me, touching me the way I touch myself. The tips of my fingers trail slowly across the swell of my breasts, wishing he was the one caressing me. Would he be gentle? Rough? Would he pull my hair like some of the men in those romance novels? Would he take charge and tell me to swallow when he comes? Would he kiss me down there? Touch me back there? Bend me up like a pretzel and take me everywhere?
I want it all… A delicious shudder rushes through me as my thoughts run wild with endless possibilities, making my insides ache to be filled. Opening my eyes, I focus on his bedroom window across the way. The entire house is pitch black, but I imagine him there, watching me as my hands run along the curves of my hips, lifting my nightgown before I’m reaching into the front of my panties…
Just as my fingers connect with my soaking seam, the lights across the way turn on, making me freeze as the stark reality of a fantasy come to life confronts me. “Holy fuck.” As light floods the room, it reveals his shirtless form, standing there, lookingright at me,with his chest heaving. “Oh, my fucking god.” I’m both humiliated and aroused as my eyes travel over his body, standing in nothing but a pair of pajama bottoms that are shaped strangely—they’re tented forward…
Oh...
Ohhhh….
Wow!
My body spikes with a mix of adrenaline and desire, and before I can even think about it, I open my window.
The cold blasts in, coating my skin and hardening my nipples, and I feel like a naughty teenager, placing one foot on the snowy roof and sneaking out from my bedroom window.
“What the hell are you doing?” Ryder hisses, throwing his window open as I brace myself on the outside of my window, the ice biting into my bare feet.
“I’m coming to you.”
“Then use the front door! You’ll slip and fall, and if you fucking die, Bella, I’ll revive you and throttle you again myself.”
“Promise?” I say with a smirk as I push away from my window, my feet picking up speed as I make my way down the roof’s slope then leap off the edge, easily clearing the short distance between his roof and ours.
