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“LA?”
“Yeah.”
“No. But I do regret the circumstances surrounding it.”
"What do you mean?"
"My father had a lot to do with it, actually. And really, he's probably the reason I don’t like Tony very much.”
She lifts her head. “I'm listening."
"Well, my father had a habit of taking things that weren't his. Wallets, jewelry. Anything that wasn't nailed down properly. He also had a habit of stealing the limelight and thinking he was better than everyone. When I was younger, I’d be in plays and whatnot for school, and he’d always embarrass the crap out of me, turning up to rehearsals and trying to show everyone how it was done. To hear him tell it, he was just naturally better at everything than the rest of us. It was like in his eyes he was a God, but in everyone else’s he was a drunk, and a failure. But he was still my father. And for all intents and purposes I loved him, even though I didn't particularly like him.”
“I can understand that,” she says. “I’m not blind to my parent’s faults either—or Tony’s.”
“Last Thanksgiving, Dad came to LA to stay with me. I hadn't seen him in maybe five years. He'd been…difficultto get in contact with. Mom kept saying she thought he was in jail, but I don't know…it wouldn’t have surprised me, though. Trouble just found the man, and I guess it was only a matter of time before it caught up. But that’s neither here nor there at this point. Thepointis, it was just me and him for Thanksgiving, and I was working all the way through doing a bit part on a new Nickelodeon show. Things were going OK, and we were in talks about making my character a permanent fixture. But then my father decided to visit me on set. I don’t know what he was on. But he waslit. He caused a scene, urinated in front of one of the kids, and to make a long story short, he got me kicked off set.”
“Oh, no!” Delaney’s eyes go wide, and I nod.
“I was this close,” I say, holding my thumb and index finger about an inch apart. “I’ve had steady work for most of my career, but this was the first time I was on the cusp of having a permanent gig. Then Dad got involved and poof, it was all gone.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“We had a massive argument over it, and he left. By New Years, he had died”—Delaney gasps—“and that hit me pretty hard, but it was like he took my career into that grave with him. I was lucky if I could book a hemorrhoid cream commercial after that. His antics on set got me blackballed, and I was so angry with him that it was like I couldn't even mourn him properly. Then one day, after yet another failed audition, it all just hit me. My dad was gone, and we never got to say sorry, my career was in the toilet, and I was burning through my savings faster than I could add to them. I was going down, so something needed to change. I did the one thing that made sense to me, and I went back home. Mom lives in Florida now, but Burt and his wife were good enough to let me use their guest room to lick my wounds in. I literally present myself to you as a ruined man with no future except the one we make together. Now I’m just lying here trying to work out how I turn this all around. I mean, I’ve got the girl, right?”
“You’vedefinitelygot the girl.”
I grin and press a kiss against her forehead. “So, that means all I have to do now is start a new career and get my own place. Should be easy, right?” I let out a sigh as I glance up to the ceiling. “I’ve been living in denial.”
“Sounds to me like you’ve just been quietly mourning and coming to terms with your dad’s passing, on top of his actions. It can’t be easy losing someone after an argument, especially a parent. We all want to believe the best about them, no matter what behavior stares us in the face.”
I take a deep breath and let it go as I turn to meet her eyes. “It did suck. I’m angry at him, but I still miss him, and I wish…I just wish things could’ve been different. But in the same breath, if none of that happened, I wouldn’t be here with you right now. So despite the chaos, it all worked out for the best. And while you were sleeping, my own experience did get me to thinking, and I think maybe we should wait.”
“Wait? I think it’s a bit late now to wait for anything. We kind of did it all already…” She sits up, wraps the sheet around herself, and gives me a look of confusion that just makes me smile. “I mean, I’m sure there’splentymorepositions and techniques. But for the sake of things we could wait for…there isn’t a lot left.” She pauses and looks at me properly, tilting her head in question. “Wait. Why are you laughing at me?”
“Because you’re adorable, sexy, innocent, quirky, and every positive adjective I can think of to describe you.” I sit up and move closer to her and slide my hands around her waist, dropping a gentle kiss on the end of her nose.
“I think we can both attest to the fact that I’m not so innocent anymore,” she says with a cheeky little smirk.
“No, gorgeous. You’re deliciously dirty, and my dick is getting hard just thinking about being back inside you. But before I hold you down on the bed and fuck you till you’re screaming again, I need to finish saying that I think we should wait untilafterthe cruise to tell your family Liam doesn’t exist.”
“What do you mean? I thought this is what you wanted.”
“It is. But I’ve also done a little soul-searching here, and I realize that it’s a bit of a selfish thing for me to ask of you. Especially this close to Christmas, andespeciallyon a cruise that’s all about your family. If we do this now, we could cause a rift, or at least a hell of a lot of drama. And out of all of your family, your Aunty is probably my favorite person—besides you, of course—and I don’t want to be responsible for ruining her big event. She obviously went to a lot of trouble to set this up for you all. And I don’t think it hurts either of us to play along for a few more days. We can let everyone know the truth behind our meeting in the new year.”
“Do you really mean that?”
“I do. The one thing I know for sure is that I am hopelessly in love with you. You can call me Liam or you can call me Nate, and that fact isn’t going to change. So, for the sake of keeping the peace for the holidays, and maybe vicariously repairing the messed up holidays I experienced last year, I can handle pretending a little longer. But only with them, I don’t want to do any pretending with you.”
“I could never pretend about how I feel toward you, Nate. You have my heart and you always will. I honestly think I was born loving you.”
“Yeah?” I lean in close and brush my lips against hers. “I have a feeling I was born to love you too.”
“Have I mentioned how much I love you today?” she asks as she runs her fingers down my chest.
“You have. But I’d like to hear it again.”
“I love you, Nate.”
